Marc, my son, my Mighty Warrior, it’s so hard to believe that you were born 44 years ago. Where has that time gone? How can that be? I will never forget bringing you home to your brother who was 3 and your sister who was 2. Their excitement as well to this new bundle of joy.
I will never forget you coming home in high school having won the “Class Clown award your junior year” and then the repeat “Class clown award your Senior year.” I questioned you at that point “How is that going to pay for your college.
It’s also hard to believe that it was 16 years ago that I last saw you. I will never forget taking you to the baseball game with the Royals and the White socks and your nonchalant attitude when I pointed out that the scoreboard after the 7th inning said “Happy 28th birthday Marc have a safe deployment.” Although after you died the guys told me you got back to the Teams and were telling them “Guess what my Mom did for me….” I still remember that last hug that I will never forget.
I will never forget the phone call on Aug 2, 2006 from your brother asking where I was and how long would it take me to get home. I didn’t have a good feeling when we said goodbye before you deployed and I knew when he wouldn’t tell me anything about why I needed to come home, that you were gone.
I will never forget laying my had on your casket and sobbing as I said my final goodbye.
I will never forget trying to pick up the broken pieces of my heart and figure out this grief journey and survive.
I will never forget God giving me my direction, hope, strength, comfort, healing over and over in the grief journey through his word while reading my Bible, through friends, family, and sometimes total strangers.
Marc, not a day goes by that I don’t think of you. I’ve been asked numerous times from people “When did you feel like you got over it?” Got over it” I carried you in my womb for 9 months, I nursed you at my breasts, got over it????? I’m guessing that those who have asked that question just haven’t had to experience the loss of someone close to them, especially their child. I never want to forget the amazing memories, nor do I want to forget the painful ones. It is because of the depth of the love that I had for you, and the gift that you were, that the pain goes deep. It’s because of the pain that I can have understanding and compassion for other people.
We celebrated your birthday last night at Scottsdale Gun Club. Yes son, I do know that today March 20th is your birthday, but we always do it on a Saturday closest to your birthday! I’m not sure if you can see from Heaven but we had so many amazing people their to celebrate you and the “Marc” you have mad and continue to make in such a HUGE way. That wouldn’t be happening if I hadn’t made sure to share your story so that people NEVER FORGET, that wouldn’t be happening if your brothers didn’t continue to share your story. (By the way thanks for that amazing final gift, son!) That wouldn’t be happening if Generals and Admirals Never forget and continue to tell your story.
We have amazing supporters who make sure that you are Not forgotten! I love you so much son, and as long as God gives me breathe and a sound mine, (okay Marc I can hear your comments questioning that, “I’m not sure you have ever been sound Mom”….ha, ha, funny, funny, but you may have a point there,) I will share your story. Son I’m sorry and don’t want to burst your bubble, but I don’t share your story because you are the cat’s meow and some super saint….okay so Jocko did call you a saint , but you are in Heaven know so Pride won’t be an issue. I tell your story because that is the personal one I know and I don’t want people to forget. Yet I make sure people NEVER FORGET each and every one of our Troops who are serving, who have served, their families and our Gold Star families whose loved one gave it all.
I make sure that people Never forget the why, you and all of those who served, were willing to sacrifice all, for us, for our country, for our freedoms and the importance of taking care of them physically, emotionally, and spiritually. You are in the presence of our Savior and you have been healed in all of those ways, but so many of our military families need help.
I mentioned last night at your birthday party that obviously we were here to honor, remember, celebrate and Never forget you, but again I don’t want to burst your bubble, but if I didn’t have the foundation you wouldn’t be getting this big birthday party every year.
After you were redeployed to Heaven, God gave me a new mission and I put on your boots, picked up your weapon and chose to stay in the fight. Remember your last words “On Me?” well now it’s On Me to lead and encourage others to do the same no matter what life has dealt them. While you had a choice to stand into the line of fire 3 times that day, I had no choice the news that was given to me on Aug 2, 2006 but I did have a choice how I responded.
Our purpose last night was to raise funds so that we can continue our mission. We raised over 100,000.00 dollars last night Marc. People were generous and they will Never forget you, our troops, our veterans or our Gold Star families and their fallen warrior.
God continues to amaze me with his provision and who he uses. Thank you God I will Never forget your sons sacrifice and I promise to live my life worthy of your sons sacrifice too! Yes Marc I know I almost forgot to bring out the birthday cake, but I did remember and I’m sure you heard the voices singing Happy Birthday to you in Heaven.
My son I can’t wait to give you a hug and hold you forever in Heaven. You are still making your Marc and we will NEVER FORGET. HAPPY 44th BIRTHDAY IN HEAVEN!
I love your Forever,
Mom
