MEDIATION MUSINGS - HALF THE SKY

Sara Barnes, Executive Director

I had no idea how revolutionary the times were. In 1972, I learned the Chinese saying “Women hold up half the sky.” It represented my dreams and aspirations. What an exciting picture from halfway around the world of women working and collaborating. This was not a world of men, but of men and women, each equal and valuable! The revelatory concept of having international sisters uplifted me and gave me hope.

Women in Conflict Resolution

Throughout the intervening decades it has been my pleasure to learn from many powerful women leaders in the conflict resolution field. In the US the majority of mediators, estimated to be as high as 70% of all mediators, are women. In the international conflict resolution space, women are not as common as in the US. The UN has been working to identify women who are willing to become mediators and has had tremendous success with expanding the role for women mediators, particularly through a community-centric model.

Gender Norms Are Changing

A couple of years ago I was excited to see the Genderbread graphic on the wall of a middle school corridor. So simple and clear. I used this graphic to help my colleagues begin to learn about new concepts about gender and to help us to move beyond what was once commonly accepted as a binary matter. We are learning from the youth and that is as it should be, I think. 

When I look at today’s 15-year-olds, I imagine they might not have any idea how revolutionary the times are in which they are living. Our young mediators introduce themselves with their gender pronouns as a method to assist others, because today we know that the concept of gender is a fluid one and no one wants to harm another person by misgendering. 

To me in 1975, the idea of women being equal to men was the way that the world was changing around me. For today’s youth, there are new and common expectations for allowing each individual to declare their own gender identity possibly beyond the male/female binary. As conflict resolvers we are eager to embrace any steps forward in self-determination and hope to continue to be part of new advances toward equality. All people, no matter their gender identities, have a shared and important role in holding up the sky.

Read a longer version of this Mediators Musings here.

Take a look at a talk given by Toni Kauffman about Women’s History Month here.

LEARN ABOUT ALL THE SERVICES WE PROVIDE

• Youth Mediation
• Family and Divorce Mediation Program––PMP
• Housing Mediation
• Civil Court / Small Claims
• Re-Entry Program
• Workplace Conflict Mediation and Management
• Facilitation Services
• Agricultural Mediation
• Conflict Coaching
• Financial Conflict Coaching
• Elderly and Aging Mediation
• Classes, Workshops, Seminars, and Training Programs

Check out our WEBSITE for details.

Community Programs

[email protected] or call 508-693-2999

Housing Program

[email protected] or call 508-693-2199

FEATURED SERVICE:

Youth Mediation Program

Gail Gardner

As the Youth Mediation Coordinator for MV Mediation, a question I often get asked is, “Wait, you go into schools to teach conflict resolution? Are you teaching the staff or the kids?” They are often surprised that we are in schools to teach the students, often as young as 8 or 9 years old, about conflict resolution, providing them with tools to resolve their conflicts in a positive and peaceful manner. 

Due to Covid, children and young people have lost out on some social skills. Teachers have shared that conflicts and the inability to resolve them is becoming a significant issue and that try as they might, they just don’t have the time necessary to give it the attention it deserves. That’s where MV Youth Mediation comes in.

To date, MV Youth Mediation has worked in four of the island schools, teaching important conflict resolution skills and peer mediation. The schools select the age group they wish to target with our programming and how many classes they would like to have. MV Youth Mediation staff members enter the school classrooms and deliver our “Peace Curriculum,” a 6- to 10-week curriculum teaching conflict resolution, with the option of an additional 5 classes in peer mediation for the older students. We offer fun, interactive instruction using visuals and activities that are age appropriate, and cover topics such as understanding that conflict is a part of everyday life, identifying put-downs and put-ups, putting oneself in another’s shoes, recognizing that conflict can be positive, and other skills to help children deal with conflict in a constructive and positive manner. 

The major takeaways from our program that we want the students to absorb are that conflict is all around us and that it can be resolved peacefully. These are skills that they can expand on and use the rest of their lives. And in the end, we will have taught our students important skills in conflict resolution and worked toward our goal of developing “an island of conflict resolvers.” One of our students said it best: “There are multiple ways to solve an argument without fighting.” Indeed there are. 

UPCOMING COURSES

People who take our courses say that their professional and personal lives improve. We offer a variety of themes that are designed to help you understand how conflict can be better managed in your personal life, workplace, and community. The cost for each course is $150–$350 based on your ability to pay. All of our courses are on Zoom and accessible to all. Take a look at our upcoming spring schedule. Register by clicking on one of the links below:

• Workplace Conflict Management Cohort

March 1–May 3, 2023––Wednesdays 9am–10:30am. Join on March 8th if March 1st overlaps with Winter Break plans.

• Conflict Essentials Course

March 9–May 4, 2023 ––Thursdays 4pm–5:30pm. Begins this week plenty of space still.

• Introduction to Mediation Basics

March 22–May 3, 2023––Wednesdays 5:30pm–8pm

“MV Mediation has great courses! You should learn with them. Great people, and I had fun.”   ––One of our participants, after taking two courses

UPCOMING EVENTS

• March 2nd, 8:30am–10am––ACR-GNY & CUNY Dispute Resolution Center at John Jay College presents Roundtable Breakfast: Self-Determination in Mediation: The Art and Science of Mirrors and Lights

• March 7th, 12pm––INP Leadership Learning Series presents Beyond Equity: Unpacking Targeting Universalism with John A Powell

• March 9th, 2 pm. How Has the Pandemic Affected Mediation? We have a free discount code, just call. NAFCM

• March 15th, noon. Mediator as Manager. This is going to be a great presentation by Audrey Lee from Boston Law Collaborative. New and experienced mediators will benefit. Register here.

• March 18th, 3pm–5pm––MV Mediation Bowl, Dine-In/Take-Out to Donate Community Event. Come and bowl for a good cause and have fun with us. Register in advance here.

• March 21st, noon–– Experienced mediators are welcome to join us at our third meeting of the Negotiation Clinic. Hear about two recent civil cases. Register here.

• March 28th, 12pm––Community Dispute Settlement Center presents Tools for Being a More Effective Mediator. RSVP by 3/24.

BOARD OF DIRECTORS CORNER

This month the Board of Directors focused our DEI discussion on Lesbian, Gay, and Transgender culture and conflict and LGBTQ+ families. We were joined by Reverend Janet Newton, who shared her work and personal experiences as a leader and supporter for the LGBTQ+ island community.

March will be the first meeting of the Board’s newly created Community Advisory Board. We look to keep our ear to the ground on conflict resolution needs here on Martha’s Vineyard.

As part of Women’s History month, MV Mediation would like to shine a light on the dynamic women who serve on our Board of Directors. Take a moment to get to know them and other members of our Board and staff by visiting the Team Section of the MV Mediation website.

Our fabulous 2022 Annual Report is out; you can access it here. Send an email if you would like us to send you a printed copy.

This month’s links for your reading and viewing pleasure:

Celebrate women in history:

• Maya Angelou: Teacher of Life and Human Thought
• Women of Martha’s Vineyard
• Women are the majority of mediators––statistics here
• Challenges for women at work––mediation can help

Improve communication:

• How to have a constructive Conversation
• Asking the right Questions
• Really listening––lots of links here
• Will AI help us with listening and empathy?
• Barack Obama has something to say about listening.

Handle conflict:

• I have trouble dealing with conflict, help!
• 10 ways you can resolve a conflict
• Get comfortable with conflict, watch this video
• A powerful way to change conflict habits
• Why is collaborating so hard in conflict?

MEDIATORS’ CHECK-IN

Wednesdays at 4pm-all are welcome to join.

• March 1–– Mediation Tips: Working with co-mediators
• March 8 ––DEIJ+B: LGBT families and conflicts
• March 15––Meet our mediator: Nancy Grundman
• March 22––Role play: TBD
• March 29––Case list: Review anonymized case lists to learn what kinds of mediations we do and chat about our effectiveness with our services
• April 5 –– Mediation Tips: TBD

Zoom link: https://us02web.zoom.us/j/86378014243

Why I Mediate

“As mediators, we encourage people embroiled in a conflict to talk to each other, try to understand the other party's view of the conflict, and to see if, together, they can craft an agreement they can, at best, embrace, or at least live with.”

–– Roland Miller, President of MV Mediation, Mediator & Conflict Coach

DEIJ+B: DIVERSITY, EQUITY, INCLUSION, JUSTICE + BELONGING

Here are a few articles to expand your DEI knowledge:

• The Future of Work
• Are You Biased Against Women Leaders?
• Ways to Celebrate Women's History Month
• Are you supporting your LGBTQ+ employees?

AGRICULTURAL MEDIATION

Martha’s Vineyard Mediation is part of a national network of USDA-supported farm, agriculture, and aquaculture mediation programs. If you know of any farms, farm stands, CSAs, or agricultural/aquacultural businesses, MV Mediation can help. Most services are free or low cost through USDA funding. We work with farms in Dukes, Barnstable, Bristol, and Plymouth Counties. Our brochure is here; please pass it on to those who may need these services.

FAMILY MEDIATION PROGRAM

Divorce, Family & Conflict Resolution

We offer help talking with your spouse or partner about divorce, parenting issues, custody schedules, financial decisions, and communication itself, and can help you to renegotiate existing plans. We also work with reconciling couples and those who have conflicts they need help to resolve.

MEDIAÇÃO EM DIVÓRCIO E FAMILIA

Divórcio, Disputas em Familia e Resolução de Conflitos

Conflitos entre marido e mulher, pais e filhos, problemas conjugais, com parceiros ou entre familiares, divórcio, custódia física e legal, planejamento para os cuidados do menor, visitação de menores, revisão do suporte financeiro e plano de visitação, divisão de bens e possível reconciliação.

[email protected] or call 508-693-2999

HOUSING MEDIATION PROGRAM

Conflict with a Tenant or Landlord?

We offer FREE MEDIATION for housing cases in Dukes and Bristol Counties and information about RAFT––rental financial assistance for back rent or moving out. Take a look at this article from the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau reporting about erroneous information about tenants being used and affecting homelessness and evictions.

MEDIAÇÃO EM CASOS DE MORADIA

Conflitos entre o proprietário e inquilinos?

Mediação GRÁTIS para qualquer tipo de conflito relativo a sua moradia nos Condados de Dukes e Bristol, e informações sobre o RAFT- programa de assistência financeira.

[email protected] or call 508-693-2199

RE-ENTRY PROGRAM

Easier Transition from Incarceration to Community

Re-entry Mediation is FREE to incarcerated individuals (pre-release) and recently released individuals (post-release). For more information, check out our flyers for pre-released and post-released individuals.

IN-COURT AND COURT-REFERRED MEDIATION SERVICES

MV Mediation provides free mediation services for eviction cases in Bristol and Dukes Counties. We are present at District Courts in Attleboro, Fall River, Taunton, and Edgartown for summary process cases. MVMP offers free services for civil cases and small claims in advance of the court date. We are also qualified to provide in-court and court-referred services for Dukes County District, Superior, Probate, and Family Courts. We provide mediation for pre-criminal and 286 E harassment cases. MV Mediation waives fees for cases referred by court or with an active docket number. 

WORKPLACE CONFLICT MANAGEMENT

MV Mediation provides support to resolve conflicts in the workplace. We provide workshops and develop conflict resolution projects with workplaces, nonprofit organizations, and municipal and trades workplaces. Our confidential Workplace Management Cohort for supervisors and managers is a popular offering. Our Spring Cohort has just started this week. We have 3 more spots available as of this writing. Spring 2023 Workplace Cohort. Join us. The more the merrier!

FACILITATION SERVICES

MV Mediation provides facilitation services for groups, boards of directors, organizations, companies, and families. Neutral and confidential facilitation allows those who are attending the meeting to fully participate. If you need facilitation services, please reach out to discuss your needs. Read this article that describes how a facilitator can help you or your organization.

“We are in a much better place since we had a facilitator help us to pull things together. Thanks to the mediation program for all your help.” ––A recent facilitation client

CONFLICT COACHING SERVICES

It can help you. Not therapy. Not advice. 

So, what is Conflict Coaching?

Conflict Coaching is a one-on-one process, with the client and a coach working collaboratively to develop a new approach to conflict. It usually takes place over two one-hour sessions. Make your appointment today!

SOCIAL MEDIA

Following us on social media is a great way to support MV Mediation! Connect with us on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn. This month we celebrate the contributions of women globally to the island’s own history. As always, don’t miss out on helpful tips about managing conflicts in our daily lives. You will also get the latest information about community events, workshops, and courses.

Connect with us on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn

THANK YOU, DONORS!

Thanks to all our donors who participated in MV Mediation’s Annual Appeal. We will make use of your contributions wisely. We really appreciate your generosity.

It’s never too late to donate!

DONATE HERE

Our Mission

To serve our community by providing education, outreach,

mediation, conflict coaching, facilitation,

and related services to help prevent and resolve conflicts.

Our Vision

To create an island of competent, capable, and

effective conflict resolvers.

Thank you for our donors and sponsors for your continued support!

MV Regional Schools

MV Charter Schools

Healthy Aging Martha's Vineyard

Mediate.com

At MVMP our slogan is We Can Work It Out. Would you like to borrow this slogan?

Feel free. You Can Work It Out! We are here if you need our help.

MV Mediation Program mvmediation.org

508 693-2999 Community & Court

508 693-2199 Housing