Jokes of the Month

Not one but THREE jokes for St. Patrick's Day. It's nice to have choices...

1 - Two Irishmen are walking home after celebrating on St Patrick's Day. They stagger up the country road in the dark and Sean says, "Patrick, we've stumbled into the graveyard and here's the stone of a man who lived to the age of 103!" Patrick asks, "Was it anybody we knew?" Sean says, "No, it was someone called 'Miles from Dublin'."

2 - Ian walks into a bar on St. Patrick's Day and orders martini after martini. With each drink, he removes the olives and puts them in a jar.
When the jar’s filled with olives and he's finished the drinks, Ian starts to leave but the bartender stops him and asks, "Hey buddy! What was that all about?" "Nothing really," replies Ian, "My wife just sent me out for a jar of olives."

3 - One St. Patrick's Day, Mrs Murphy answers her door to see her husband's best friend standing there. She says, "Hello Paddy, but where's my husband?" Paddy shakes his head sadly and says, "Ah Mrs. Murphy, I'm so sorry. There was a terrible accident at the beer factory. Your husband fell into a vat of Guinness and drowned." Mrs Murphy starts sobbing, "Oh begorrah, don't tell me that! Well…did he at least go quickly?" Paddy shakes his head again and says, "No, not really. He got out 3 times to pee!"