The 15-year-old figure skater saw her Olympic dreams crushed into the cold ice before millions. After years of grueling practice and the sacrificing of a childhood to become perhaps the world’s best, she had failed. Not once, not twice, but multiple times during her final performance for the gold.
What greeted her upon completion was not a compassionate hug or a word of consolation, but a demand.
“Explain it to me, why?” the coach demanded.
In five words the coach seemed to ask:
Why couldn’t you just ignore the pressure?
Why weren’t you perfect?
Why did you have to be a human?
Even without the sound, we might have recognized the tone as familiar. For many of us, it was first heard in a vulnerable childhood moment.
Quit your crying.
It’s your own fault.
What’s wrong with you?
You should be ashamed.