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January, 2025
Newsletter from The Marriage Education and Resource Center (MERCY)
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Something the Holy Spirit has impressed on me (Penny) this past year is ". . . apart from me you can do nothing."
I must confess I've often plunged ahead with ideas without really asking the Lord about them beforehand. Then, I ask the Lord to bless my efforts.
God has been so good to us. So, this year I'm laying MERCY at the feet of Jesus and asking Him what He has in store for us and this ministry. For 20 years He has provided for this ministry, and we are looking forward to what He has in store for us in the future.
His ways are always better! For example, we were praying this last year about hiring someone to help co-lead MERCY. He didn't answer that prayer in the way we had planned. Instead, he had another idea. . .a better one. As a result, MERCY is partnering with "Growing Your Marriage" to re-instate monthly marriage workshops starting in February 2025. He also prompted us to train some new mentors. It is a long and time-consuming training program, and we looked at each other wondering if we really wanted to do this again. But we had potential mentors who really wanted to be trained. And we took that as this was God's plan, not ours. Out of this training, however, a new marriage ministry was born at a church.
Thank you, Jesus!
Grace and peace,
Penny and David
| Are You "Falling Out of Love" or is it Burnout? Shaunti Feldhahn | |
Shaunti Feldhahn, author, speaker and international-renowned social researcher, recently shared an article about marital burnout.
This occurs when couples are so tired of trying to make things work, they don't even feel anger anymore. Their relationship has faded into a cold, gray numbness. Often, this happens to individuals, especially women, who feel they are carrying the weight of an unhealthy marriage alone. Feldhahn says, "By the time their partner realizes there's an issue, they often sit across from her in counseling and say, 'I'd loved to feel something again and work on this, but I don't think I love him anymore.' "
According to Feldhahn, when burnout happens, three stages typically unfold (this model is based on the work of Dr. Christina Maslach, a leading burnout researcher.)
Stage 1 - Emotional Exhaustion
Stage 2 - Depersonalization
Stage 3 - Feelings of Failure
She then goes on to provide three essential strategies for fighting marital burnout.
Step 1 - Self Care
Step 2 - Stress Reduction
Step 3 - Start Over
I liked what Feldhahn shares from Revelation. God speaks to a church that has worked itself into exhaustion, losing its passionate love in the process. He tells them, "Look how far you have fallen. Turn back to me and to the works you did at first (Revelation 2:5a NLT)" God was reminding them to return back to Him and the actions that once fueled their love.
Until a couple seeks help, a significant marital problem is a persistent battle that never goes away.
We are aware of hundreds of couples that have started over by allowing the Lord to lead their relationship. Just know, we have a list of Christian counselors, mentors and resources to help you start again.
If you would like to read Feldhahn's complete article, click here.
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Slime Time Date Night -
January 17, 2025
6:00 - 8:00 PM
MERCI Barn
8510 Indiana 111
Memphis, TN
Ben and Crystal Woods with The Brave Way Home are teaming up with MERCI for a date/service night for couples. You will be making slime to help support "Casa Calla," a special project created by Forget Me Not Ministries.
Cost: $20 a couple that goes toward slime supplies, snacks and supporting the Brave Way Home, which is a wonderful ministry.
For more information and/or to sign up, click here
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January 19
1:00 PM - 5:00 PM
Graceland Baptist Church
3600 Kamer Miller Rd.
New Albany, IN 47150
Grace Marriage is a marriage coaching program designed with a proactive plan and path to help marriages grow and experience more grace, gratitude and connection. Through four (4 hour) annual sessions (one per quarter), couples will find the space to be strategic and intentional to grow, connect, have fun, be motivated, and experience a rewarding marriage.
Cost: $150 per couple for the entire year.
Childcare is an option.
For more information or to register, click here.
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Tuesdays, February 4, 2025 - 6:00 PM - Tuesdays,
April 1, 2025 - 8:00 PM
MERCI Barn
8510 Indiana 111,
Memphis, IN 47143
When debt isn't in your way, you can comfortably live life. And here's the great news: You can achieve it with the right plan. That's exactly what you'll discover in Financial Peace. MERCI Indiana invites you for 9 Tuesday sessions where you will learn how to have financial peace.
Cost: *Only one sign up per couple is necessary*
Only $60 for the First 10 to sign up!
($100 per household after first 10 sign-ups)
For more information, click here.
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Do You Like Questionnaires? | |
Did you know that Dr. Willard Harley, Christian author, speaker and founder of "Building Marriages That Last a Lifetime" has questionnaires currently available for you to use free of charge to strengthen you marriage.
Harley recommends you read Dr. Harley's Basic Concepts before taking the following questionnaires:
- Emotional Needs Questionnaire
- Love Buster's Questionnaire
- Marital Problem Analysis
- Memorandum of Agreement
- Personal History Questionnaire
- Financial Support Inventory. Need and Wants Budget
- Recreational Enjoyment Inventory
- Time for Undivided Attention Graph
- Time for Undivided Attention Worksheet
- Marital Negotiation Worksheet
In addition, he has a wealth of information on his website. Here is a link to the website. To get to the Questionnaires, simply click on the button at the top of the website - click here.
| Saying "Thank You" Really Matters | |
Science shows that saying
"thank you" is the secret weapon for family happiness.
Research led by Allen Barton, University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign, showed that "In the currency of family happiness, a simple "thank you" might be worth more than we think. Researches reveal that feeling appreciated by family members isn't just heartwarming - it's scientifically linked to better relationships and mental health, though not every thank-you carries equal weight."
If you'd like to read more on this subject, click here.
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How Sacrifice Sweetens a Marriage
Gary Thomas, bestselling author, international speaker whose ministry brings people closer to Christ and closer to each other recently offered the following advice.
"To those who don't know Christ, "sacrifice" might seem like an ugly word, something you'd never want to connect to marriage. But for believers whose eternal life depends on Christ's sacrifice and who are called to make our lives a living sacrifice to God, we trust Jesus knew what he was talking about when he said, 'It is more blessed to give than to receive.'
Talking about sacrifice in abusive marriages can be dangerous and inappropriate, but for others, the notion of sacrificing to make your spouse's dreams come true can be one of the most effective tools to make your spouse feel cherished and to make yourself feel blessed to live with such a happy, fulfilled spouse. Helping your spouse do something outside of their marriage that God has uniquely gifted and called them to do can greatly benefit the marriage itself."
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New Gallup Poll Survey
For the first time in the Gallup Poll's nearly century long history, a majority of Americans say they do not belong to any house of worship. That constitutes a 23-percentage-point decline in the number of Americans who said they belong to a house of worship since the year 2000.
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New Resources
Following is a list of several new resources on Marriage we would encourage you to check out:
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88.5 WJIE Sweetheart Dinner with Tasha Layton
Friday, February 14, 2025
Galt House Hotel,
140 North Fourth Street
Louisville, KY 40202
Get ready for an unforgettable night filled with great music, delicious food, and wonderful company with Tasha Layton. This in-person event is the perfect way to celebrate love and music with your sweetheart.
Cost: Tickets for 2 - $220 + $16.60 fee.
For more information or to register, click here.
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MERCY is thrilled to be partnering with John and Lorie Weires, with "Growing Your Marriage" to bring you free monthly workshops in 2025.
The first one is:
"What's Love Got to
Do with It?"
February 21 - 6:30 PM
Highpoint
424 E. Main Street
LaGrange, KY
Free
Marriage is a beautiful gift from God, but let’s be honest, it’s not always a fairy tale.
Society and social media often give us unrealistic and misleading ideas about marriage. But let’s break free from those and see what real marriage looks like.
Have you ever wondered what God has to say about love? Join GYM leaders, John and Lorie Weires, as they share their insights on love the way God intended.
Married life is amazing at all stages of life, even with the challenges. When you do it God’s way, it’s incredible!
Childcare not available.
To register, click here.
(Note: Please register so John and Lorie can be prepared for you.)
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Better Together
Friday, February 21
7:00 - 9:00 PM
(Doors open at 6:30 PM)
Better Together will continue on with date night fun, games and inflatables from 9:00 - 10:00 PM
Northside Christian Church
4407 Charlestown Road
New Albany, IN 47150-3831
Better Together is an event for married, engaged, and seriously dating couples of all ages. Together you will experience stories, and laughter with comedian Kenn Kington. From there, marriage experts Sean and Lynette Reed will come on board to encourage and equip your relationship. The Reeds bring over 20 years of pastoral experience and a heart to build marriages that leave Godly legacies. Through humor and practical advice, the Reeds will guide you on this one big idea: "How do you create connection through uncontrollable change in your relationship?"
Cost: $40 per couple
Childcare not available
For more information, or to register, click here.
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Important Message
We so appreciate every person who supports this ministry. We just got word from our bank that all future checks need to be made out to:
The Marriage Education and Resource Center
rather than MERCY.
Thank you so much!
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Interactive Marriage Handbooks by Dating Divas | Cost is $50 for the 3 handbooks. Click here for more information. | Reconnected - A video series sponsored by Focus on the Family | | |
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The Marriage Talk Podcast by Jay and Laura Laffoon
The Marriage Talk Podcast exists for the purpose of encouraging healthy, vibrant, lasting, faith-centered marriages.
For more information, click here.
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Reconnected: The Digital Experience is perfect for couples, small groups, and adult Sunday School classes. Purchase includes a PDF study guide and access to the 7-part video series.
Digital Video Session Titles:
- Married Roommates
- Bids for Connection
- Life-Giving Communication
- Close Pursuit
- Closed Hearts
- Our Wildest Dreams
- Staying Connected
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Cost: $14.99
For more information, click here.
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Marriage Is Easier - When You Know How! | |
This book by Patricia Crane
Ennis, MSW, is empowering and practical. It is based on the award-winning Third Option Program, which has been transforming and saving marriages for over 30 years.
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Following are some tips from the Dating Divas on how to reach relationship goals.
- Daily Relationship Goals
- Weekly Couple Goals
- Yearly Relationship Goals, Examples & Ideas
- Blank Checklist
If you would like to print or download these worksheets, click here.
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