May 2019
Happy Mother's Day to you dear friends. The month of May holds many milestone days, including Mother's Day, graduations, Memorial Day, and many of my oldest friend's birthdays. Horoscopes say that Aquarians and Geminis are compatible - must be true.
I attempted to bypass writing a Mother's Day newsletter and was prompted by spirit and a trusted friend that it was way too important to skip over. As I reflect on my mother, who passed in September 2017, I am acutely aware of the depth of drama, love, wanting, shoulding, needing, wishing, don't wanting, get close, get away, seek, don't get, and beyond. The dynamic of this most primordial relationship is for many and for some, the most complex.
Here's a list I found recently that I gave to Momma on a Mother's Day card - a list of specific things I am grateful to her for. I'll add that it is truly a snippet, a tiny thumbnail of the true list.

Thank you Momma for all you have done for me, including this very small list:
  • birthed me---you had a choice 
  • shared me with the neighbors, Izel and Buel and their extended family, who loves me still
  • got our friend with snow chains to drive us home in the treacherous snowstorm 
  • shopped for and bought material for dresses that would fit my larger-than-stores-provided size 
  • ensured I had variety of dresses, options
  • kept full time jobs, worked overtime anytime possible to support the family
  • kept bills paid even when it was not easy to do so
  • kept food, variety of food, foods we liked, in the house and on the table, home cooking daily, even while working long hours
  • drove me and my friends to softball games on the back of the loaded-down pickup truck.
  • took us all, friends, and cousins, to Beech Bend adventure park 
  • took us to Bowling Green to see great aunts and uncles
  • hosted family meals, gatherings and holidays
  • dressed us up for trips, Easter, and school photos
  • went with me to first day of school even though you didn't see how you could take the day off without consequences
  • taught me to spell, read, write, and speak in front of people before I started to school
  • bought crayons, coloring book, and things to learn with
  • provided coats, boots, and things in winter to keep me warm/warmer so we could play outside and for waiting for the bus
  • bought fans to help cool the house in hot, humid summers 
  • got up earlier than anyone in house and built a fire for us
  • provided plenty of quilts/blankets/beds for our comfort
  • made popcorn balls, candy, and treats for us
  • bought us all we asked for Christmas and birthdays. For example, my record player, typewriter, radio, sports, and softball equipment
"My favorite parts of myself came through my mother."   ~ Martha Creek 
What is on your gratitude list for your momma? I encourage you to write it -- for your sake, not hers.
I asked for input and feedback from Facebook friends on their perspectives of "mother." Here are their insights and wisdoms. I pray and know that you can relate.
Grace Terry: Let us honor God the Mother on Mother's Day, as well as our earthly mothers. God the Mother is every bit as valid/powerful/worthy of praise and gratitude as God the Father. Both are metaphor for All That Is, Pure Spirit. ...  

Joni Coakley: Mothers need a sense of humor because... 

Charlotte Schoo Schroeder: Sometime grandmas take on the role of mom. 

Matthew Kent: If I only had one more of those phone calls that always seemed to come at dinner time, or when I was watching a show. You know the ones. Just catching up, telling me about your day, what my grandfather said that morning when you visited him at the nursing home, how the cat has been, what the doctor said about your meds....the one that I always seemed to be in a hurry to end. The call that, no matter how many times I said "Okay Mom I gotta go" just took a breath, paused, and found one more thing to say. If only I knew then what I know now: that you just wanted a few minutes to see how I was and what was happening in my life. That after 18 years of knowing where I was and how I was doing at almost every moment, you missed your son, and wanted to get a little of that back. Oh if I could only have just one more of those phone calls, mom, I promise I would have been the last to hang up....(and now I am in tears because it was 7 years ago almost to the day that you left this world...and while I feel you in my heart, I will never get that call again.) 

Lynn Pickett Ellis: The wisdom I'm experiencing and embodying right now is the absolute power and beauty of my own daughter turning back towards me and accepting, forgiving, and calling me into being the fierce and integrated woman I truly am. Instead of holding me hostage to all of my mistakes and all of the times I got it wrong....she is calling me to rise and inviting me into a circle of women that are remembering how beautiful and powerful we truly are. In turn....I am forgiving, releasing and finding the ability to do the same for my momma. It's a complete healing of our lineage. Generations of hurt, neglect, pain and misunderstanding are being turned into power and deep connection. Realizing that a part of me was actually inside my own momma when she was just an embryo inside my grandmother. And a part of my granddaughter was inside her momma while she was being carried in my womb. The bond is unique and strong. We inherit not just the trauma and the pain....but the power, truth, and fierceness. Both/And. The mother wound is deep....and the healing is powerful. Mother's Day calls to the deepest love I have ever known. Both who I came from....and those I had the pleasure of birthing. We are all learning to be mother ourselves....but to accept and cherish our mothers and daughters in WHOLE allows to love the whole of humanity in new and creative ways. Grateful.

Tracey Quillen: Your mother is aging. Maybe all shots are not firing. You wonder if she has had another mini stroke because it seems she is not processing and remembering as much as she used to. You make a suggestion about seeing a doctor. She barks not to start in on her. When do we step in as adult children of aging parents and when are we being too nosey? Too controlling? 

Noell Rowan: It is a very challenging process for me to know what is my business and when and how to intervene with an aging mother. I want to honor her right to self determination and I want to trust in her wisdom. However, about once a month or three I get messages that perhaps I need to step in and take stronger action. Now is the time to gather information on next steps. This is not easy and it is full of uncertainty and emotions. Prayer and meditation are as important as seeking guidance from specialists in this area. 

Brenda Peters: When you don't have a "Hallmark" mother but one with untreated Alcoholism. Reminding yourself it's not about you. Being aware of other "mother figures" who came into your life and were there for you. Also being a mother to yourself and finding recovery. 

Susie Howerton Davis: She couldn't pass on to me what she never received. Instead I was forced to like, love, and accept myself. I learned the person I did not want to be. Perhaps that is the best gift of all. She was never able to give me what she never received. I have had to learn to love myself and to show love to my own children and grandchildren. For that, I thank her. 

Debra Madison: Forgiveness. Gratitude. Grace.  

Kelley Anderson: When you live far from your aging mother and thankful she's in good health more or less... you finally free yourself of the self-imposed guilt for not being there all the time and choose to send her an appreciation package. Freedom from your guilt feelings and enjoying life with your mother is empowering. 

Joy Wyler: My mom and I are so very different. It makes us crazy sometimes. The healthiest thing we've done is learn to appreciate the good qualities in each other--even if they seem foreign to our own nature. At 90 years old I do not expect her to change but I admire that she still seems willing to try something new. The transformation from not understanding (or supporting) my civil rights activism to crying over Tiger Woods comeback. She's my mom. 

Carol Wells Lawson: Dear Martha Creek, I am awed by the wisdom coming to you from these thoughtful posts about their mothers and the Divine feminine flowing through us all. You have "mothered" so many. Happy Mothers Day to you.

Herlean Younce: Things your Mother Taught You 

Doris Hoskins: Forgiveness for our mothers... forgiveness for ourselves.  

Tracy Smith: Start early. I told my son that his college fund was actually for therapy as all parents love and do their best, but we make mistakes. And laugh with your kids...and they will laugh with you as adults. Oh, one more, I have always told my son that he is the greatest gift that God has ever given. I've been so very blessed to be his mom.  

Diane Czerwonka: Sometimes moms are mom and dad and therefore, doubly amazing, miracle workers. 

Janine Burns: Not all Mamas are blood related. 

Scherer Alan: Mothers certainly know you best and can push your button and we are blessed when we still have our mothers here physically and spiritually to guide us on our journey. Throughout our lives we have many teachers, male and female, that are motherly. 

Roxanne Buckle: A somewhat, less sentimental twist: I have "married" my mother twice. Anything unhealed in that primary relationship will become an opportunity through the universe supporting us with other chances to 'get it'. Through projection, revealing the shadow, etc., etc.. xo  

Sydney Lehman: I'm probably the poster child for "Oops, I just dropped the f-bomb again" moms. My mothering journey evolved from sitcom-style rose-colored-glasses love to authentic "I'm making this up as I go along and I WILL make mistakes" love. The result is that our now 20 year-old son is honest and authentic with us. Mistakes are (mostly) acknowledged, and there are far fewer emotional land mines. And yes, I still drop the f-bomb. And yes, I still (mostly) apologize for doing it. 

Martha Creek: What I focus on---grows. I see her faults and failings, they increase. I see her grit, stamina, perseverance, generosity, quirks, and resourcefulness - they are more important. In those times, the failings are not so painful. 
Mothering is a most natural part of our spiritual path. Tender, indeed. May our hearts remain open, nonetheless.
Pema Chödrön wrote, "Life is a good teacher and a good friend. Things are always in transition, if we could only realize it. Nothing ever sums itself up in the way that we like to dream about. The off-center, in-between state is an ideal situation, a situation in which we don't get caught and we can open our hearts and minds beyond limit. It's a very tender, nonaggressive, open-ended state of affairs. To stay with that shakiness--to stay with a broken heart, with a rumbling stomach, with the feeling of hopelessness and wanting to get revenge--that is the path of true awakening. Sticking with that uncertainty, getting the knack of relaxing in the midst of chaos, learning not to panic-this is the spiritual path."
May you find deep, abiding consolation in the images, ideas and dynamics of "mother", "mothering" and beyond --- Blessings for a new way, new depth, and new embodiment of inner peace NOW. Happy Mother's Day to you all with a wholehearted invitation to become more of "mother" to and for yourself.
Greatest of love from my mothering heart,
Martha Creek

Martha Creek



"I remember my mother's prayers and they have always followed me. They have clung to me all my life."  
~ Abraham Lincoln
"For when a child is born the mother also is born again."  
~ Gilbert Parker
"Motherhood is... difficult and... rewarding."  
~ Gloria Estefan
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