“When we care less about our people, our people become careless." ― Simon Sinek

I have never met anyone who doesn't talk to other drivers, who of course can't hear them. Some people talk to them all the time, and some only when weird maneuvers are made. Massachusetts has a reputation for, shall we say, bad drivers?

Some of these drivers rise to a special category and have their own Wikipedia definition, see below.

This week's Weblog is not a story, and not a deep philosophical treatise. It technically falls in the 'rant' category since it is a list of things that drive me crazy when I'm driving. At the top of the list and the bottom of the story are Massholes.

If you live in Massachusetts or New England, you already know what a Masshole is.

If you don't, your first guess will be pretty close. If you need help, here is the definition from an urban dictionary.

Last year, I drove more than 40,000 miles, much of that on interstates or divided highways. All of them were in a Volkswagen and accompanied by either podcasts or books on tape to make them less boring.

Here is a partial list of the things that drive me crazy when I'm driving. I think you might also find some things that also might drive you crazy

Trucks drive me crazy. No matter what anyone tells you, trucks own the road and passenger cars are an inconvenience to them.

I am not besmirching (finally got to use that word in a sentence) truck drivers. I am just expressing the reality that size matters and trucks can dominate if they choose.

With Walmart offering $100,000 in driver salaries, and sign on bonuses offered by most trucking companies, trucks will maintain their dominance for the foreseeable future and the quality of drivers isn't necessarily going to improve.

I am an expert on trucks on a highway. 

The thing with trucks that gets me most anxious is when I am behind a car that is beside a truck. And stays there. 

The most dangerous spot on the road is beside a truck. The sun is blocked, your vision of the rest of the highway is blocked, and you are not visible in the truck driver’s rear-view mirror. You are trapped.

I am amazed that some drivers like to be trapped.

As mentioned, I have an occasional word to say to other drivers who cannot hear me, and I am experienced at hand gestures, or as someone recently called it 'half the peace symbol.'

One of the most frequent things I say in the car to nobody listening is 'pass the truck'. When I was young hockey player, I used to say 'pass the puck' so I guess I have been a passing advocate for years.

Gas Prices:

I have one of those apps on my phone that enables me to pay for gas at a regional chain of convenience/gas locations. Saves me 10 cents a gallon and makes me feel cool every time I use it.

Gas prices are way up, and the recent announcement that we will be driving on corn oil might save the day. When I started driving, just after automatic transmissions were invented, gas was 16 cents a gallon and you got a free drinking glass with a fill up. Still have a set of Boston Celtics glassware from back in the day.

Boy does that sound like another planet or what?

For those of you who remember the Mobil Station in Hingham that was priced so much higher than the 7-11 across the street, I checked the pricing last week: $4.99 at Mobil for regular compared to $4.19 for the same gas at 7-11. Branding counts.

Is there any official washer fluid etiquette? Random spray from another vehicle drives me crazy.

Does anyone else think it is rude to put on your washer fluid at 65 miles per hour and have the overspray hit the six cars behind you? The result is that those cars then have to spray their windshields and have the overspray hit the six cars behind them, who then have to... and on and on.

My recommendation is that you wait until there is no one behind you and spray away, front and back if you have them. It is the courteous thing to do.

Dashboard Clocks:

Daylight Savings Time drives me crazy in the car. Automobile manufacturers make changing the clock in your car kind of like a detective game.

Since you only do it twice per year, you never remember how. You might look it up or push buttons here and there. It generally takes me about a week after the time changes to figure out the clock.

You know how back in the day that companies got together and developed a standard format for 8-track tapes and today there is a standard format for CDs and DVDs? Can they come up with a standard format for car clocks to handle Daylight Savings Time?

Currently, my touchscreen clock automatically changes, but the dashboard clock doesn’t. For a week, I enjoy both times. Let’s hope the legislation passes to eliminate DST, or there is a car clock standard created. Right now, I'm good through October.

Cupholders:

I once bought a car because I really liked the cupholders. True story, I've been ashamed to admit this to others for decades, although my wife has always known. A 1985 Chrysler. Regretted the decision before I got home but drove that sucker for five years, or 60 months, as the bank remembers it. It was a crazy decision.

Cupholders are rarely perfect. They are either too big and the cup sloshes around, or they are too small, and you cannot fit a large, iced coffee in them. They are either too far away, so you have to reach, or they are too close to the between seats console that might hang over one.

You may not be fussy about cupholders, but with the number of miles I drive, and I drive many of them with a decaf coffee and a bottle of water to keep me company, the cupholder is a critical element of transportation.

This photo of the inside of a 1959 Volkswagen requires no caption.

Let me get this straight. Someone trying to enter a highway is supposed to be able to see behind themselves going 50 or 60 miles per hour and enter the far-right lane. But the Masshole who is already in the far-right lane, doesn't have to slow down to let them in, or speed up to get by them, s/he just keeps their own speed and honks at the driver attempting to merge?

Or, conversely, the car in front of you entering the highway believes that 30 mph is the best speed to merge into a stream of traffic going 75 mph?

Ok, as long as both are right, I'll stay silent. There oughta be a better law.

Ok, I'm old and my eyesight might not be what it used to be. I get it. In spite of the fact that I am color blind and can only legally see out of one eye, I still see a lot. 

But when I am on, as the Eagles said ‘a dark desert highway’ or even the on ramp to I-495 after dark, a little paint on the road would help, a lot.

How much does it cost to stripe a road or a highway? Unstriped roads drive me crazy.

Driving in the rain at night on a road without lines is never fun, and probably dangerous. Cities and towns: save money somewhere else, please?  I read somewhere that traffic accidents are up.

Does anyone know the criteria for striping a road? Is it a one and done and it lasts a lifetime? Is it at the discretion of the town or state highway department? Is the paint on a cargo ship off the port of Los Angeles? Is there a downside to striping a road clearly?

For the next decade, everything that is wrong is going to be blamed on the pandemic, Red Sox losing streaks, long lines at the ice cream stand and a shortage of watermelon at the grocery store. Accidents will be blamed on Covid-19 I'm sure.

In my opinion, I think one reason that accidents are up because people like me, and you, need lines on the road. In fact, metaphorically speaking, we are all better off having lines on the edge of the road we are travelling.

These people are an important part of the tapestry of driving in the state.

And of course, these are the people who drive 65 mph in the passing lane, because after all, that is the speed limit.

These are also the people who are knowledgeable about the shortest interval ever measured by science: the time between the light turning green and the Masshole behind you hitting the horn for you to move.

I know I forgot some things, so stay tuned for Part 2 one day.

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