If the divorce process is in its infancy or just about to begin, please keep in mind that if kids are involved, please be sure they know that this decision has nothing to do with something they did. Kids may tend to think that if they hadn't broken the lamp or failed their English test, the divorce would not have occurred. Be sure they know that, in most cases, they can love both of you and do not have to choose. Keep an eye on their behavior, as they may cope with this process by hanging out with a new crowd or not doing their homework or acting out. This comes from confusion and the fact that since they cannot control what is happening with their parents, they find something in their life that they can control.

Some excellent reading material to help empower you and work through many of the issues associated with divorce can be found on my website, www.dabalmft.com. Some of those titles include, Parents Are Forever, Rebuilding: When Your Relationship Ends, and a good one for little children is called A Dinosaur's Divorce.

For some individuals, they prefer to talk with others who are going through the same process. Many churches in the area offer Divorce Support Groups. Just check their websites to see when they are offered. Talking to others can reduce that feeling of being alone. Keep in mind though that everyone goes through this process differently. Every story is different. Every situation is different. Just because one individual is feeling empowered and ready to move on, does not mean that you need to do the same. If it takes you longer to get to that point, that is OK. There is no time limit on the healing process.

Be sure to pay attention to self-care. Making sure that you are sleeping, eating, exercising and taking care of your own basic needs aids the healing process. You may need some time alone. You may need extra time with friends or family. Pay attention to your instincts and feed those instincts in a healthy way. If you find yourself turning to unhealthy habits like drinking or gambling or other risky behavior, please speak to a professional to evaluate your coping skills.

If you know of someone going through this process, please let them know that you can be a support. They may be shy about asking for that help.

Remember that this situation is temporary. With the proper guidance and patience, you can get to the place where you are happy again and life is good. Reach out to a support network, take care of yourself and be sure that you are available for any children that may need you as this process carries forward.

This is just the tip of the iceberg with regards to advice on the process. Please seek professional help if you are struggling beyond what you can handle. You are not alone.

 

If we look at the situations in life

From The Positive Perspective, we can work through anything.