I originally shared this in 2018. It has to do with the darker, but necessary, side of working in a shelter and bears repeating every so often. I am hopeful that I will be able to share a success story next month.
When you choose the behavior, you choose the consequence
~ Dr. Phil McGraw
Over a month ago the post - Pastor John dinner discussion turned to kicking people out of Frederick Place. Until that discussion I had assumed that the community osmotically knew terminating a resident’s stay was a routine procedure when operating a shelter. If Pastor John, who has been providing meals since we opened, was unaware of this common occurrence, it was a safe bet that a lot of you are also unaware. Thanks to Pastor John, I thought I would write an educational piece this month. What you are about to read is also a testament to our pledge to operate Frederick Place as a haven free of drugs, alcohol, and violence.
Our rules are in place to promote safety for all, resident self-sufficiency, resident rights, staff rights, confidentiality, property upkeep, and respect. Portions of all our rules and guidelines are documented throughout a resident file/chart. Some of our directives are ones you would expect most adults to already know. Some directives are specific to Frederick Place. The portion titled “Rules and Disciplinary Procedure” contains all the rules with detailed explanations. When a prospective resident arrives, they are often incredibly nervous. If an individual demonstrates these conditions, it is unlikely that they will remember what they have been told, so we often do not complete their intake on that first day. For that reason, we created a list of rules we felt they needed to know on their first day. We call it “Resident’s Initial Rules and House Schedule” and give it to them to review on their own once they are settled in. As a group, staff chose a few rules that we feel are the most important and most misunderstood. This page was designed with red ink, large font and is simply titled “IMPORTANT RULES.” Our Zero Tolerance and Immediate Termination Policy reiterates those rules that will result in an immediate termination of stay, no exceptions. We want residents to know, without doubt, what the consequence of choosing certain behaviors will be. Rules pertaining to medications, prescription and over the counter, can be found in the mothership list of rules, the handout and in the health section of a file. Our “Emergency Shelter Agreement” is a list of expectations and recommendations. Although this section does not read as if it is a set of rules, a resident may be asked to leave if they are not meeting expectations by working on the goals developed together with their case manager.
Through the years we have had to amend rules and add new ones, and I imagine that will be the case in the future. Some of the additions have been “a-ha” moments because we are surprised, we had not thought of them sooner. The best example I can produce is the recent addition of “the only acceptable breathalyzer result is 0.00” after a resident’s breathalyzer test read 0.04. The argument this person gave was that she would not be charged with drunk driving with this blood alcohol concentration. The resident file touches on zero tolerance and failed UA/breathalyzer multiple times but not in detail. The assumption was that a resident would understand that zero tolerance means just that.
Our “Disciplinary Procedure” is also explained to incoming residents. We used to write people up for rule infractions, and if they received three write-ups their stay may be terminated. Today we have a point system. Points are assigned to rules by degree of severity and range from one point up to ten points. Missing three chores is minor compared to having prescription medications in their room where others have access to them. Once they reach ten points they are asked to leave. Residents are always informed of the number of points they have, putting their success or failure on them. The hope is that the behavior that warranted a write-up/point will cease if there is a threat of being asked to leave.
There have been residents whose departures we have welcomed because they were so blatantly disrespectful to everyone that crossed their path. There are also those who just do not want to do the work and expect us to do the work for them. They do the bare minimum to remain a resident. They are told at intake that they are only granted a second 30 days if they are working towards self-sufficiency. These are the residents we call our “B & B residents.” When we tell either of the above their stay has been terminated, they look at us like we have lobsters coming out of our ears. They are reminded that they signed paperwork stating they understood why and when they may be asked to leave. It is this category of people who leave nasty comments on Facebook and tell people we treated them unfairly. Ironically, these are also the individuals we usually hear from again. Their return is allowed but only after they have submitted a letter to Fearless Leader stating what will be different this time. The hardest part of our job is asking a resident to leave who we have guided, nurtured, shared joy and laughter with, talked to, listened to, dried tears, and cried with. It can be gut wrenching, but we try to remember they chose the behavior, not us.
What you have just read may not shine the best light on Frederick Place. We have had countless residents express that we are more like a jail than a shelter. However, 90 days flies by so fast that a schedule and rules are vital on the road to success. We will do everything in our power to make that happen for an individual, but they must meet us halfway. We will not work harder than they do. Afterall, our motto is giving a hand up, not a hand out.
