As we head into May there is a lot of energy around Mother’s Day and in adoptionland and it can be complicated! Each member of the adoption constellation has a different idea about what “mother'' means: who is a mother, what mother has value, what actions make a mother, does one every stop being a mother? Recently, I read an article called Adoption Language by Valerie Andrews, 2011 published on OriginsCanada that made me deeply contemplate the history of the term “birthmother” because in adoptionland language matters. It also had me contemplating about how I refer to the mothers in my life, why I celebrate Birth Mother’s Day (always the Saturday before Mother’s Day, this year, Saturday, May 7th), and who has influenced and shaped my views about motherhood.
As you explore and decide what feels right to you, I encourage you to consider:
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History Learn the origin of the term(s) you use and ask yourself “what feels right to ME and why”
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Read, Listen and Learn from those who have lived experience
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Ask “How do you identify?” Don't assume and remember that we adoption constellation members don’t all think alike
We also hope you are able to join us for our Birth/First Parent adoptee ally edition of We the Experts later this month. See the details for our upcoming We the Experts below.
As always, thank you for your support and being a part of the Adoption Mosaic community!
