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Carrying on After a
Hard Blow
by Linda L. Osmundson
Our lives seemingly consist of a ‘before’ and ‘after’.
My ‘before’ began when our first born came along and I gave up teaching to become a stay-at-home mom. After the third son, I discovered I needed more challenges than cooking, cleaning and loving/caring for my family. I became a “professional volunteer.”
Bob and I campaigned for various political candidates. While teaching religion classes, the staff asked me to teach laypeople to teach. Years later, when I asked a principal at the school of my youngest child how I could help, she said, “You can be PTA president.” Shocked, I took on the job. When Bob’s company transferred us, I studied to be an art museum docent and eventually served in four art museums and two galleries as we continued to move around the West. Several museums’ staffs asked me to teach other docents how to give interactive tours. One of our HOA organizations needed an editor. I volunteered. I served on newcomers’ associations’ boards and chaired the annual fashion show.
With a dream to write for children, I, at the age of 50, told Bob I wanted to enroll in a 2-year children’s writing correspondence class. He said, “Linda, what do you want to be when you grow up?” After the class, I wrote hundreds of articles for magazines, newspapers, anthologies and blogs. Pelican Publishing released the first of my three picture books when I was 72!
And then there was my ‘after.’
In 2013, my husband Bob was diagnosed with dementia. While reading the description on a book cover, one sentence hit home. “When life deals you a hard blow, you have no choice but to carry on.”
I researched dementias online, read books, enrolled in classes and joined a support group. Once I could no longer leave Bob by himself, I gave up all activities except two, requiring that I hire help so I could continue to attend writer and support group meetings. One son commented, “Mom, you’ve aged 10 years in one. It is time to get more help for you and for Dad.” With Bob’s consent and my sons’ help, we placed him in memory care in 2016. Twenty-two months later, he passed away.
I’d lost contact with friends. They were couples; I’d be a 5th wheel. I promised myself to get out of the house and not become like some 80-year-olds who isolate themselves and wither away. What new challenges could I provide for myself that would give me the interaction with other people I required?
I continued to write although my primary goal changed to helping others who go into caregiving unprepared. I facilitated the support group when needed, became an Alzheimer’s Educator, wrote and self-published a dementia picture book for ages 7-107 and created my own PowerPoint program called “Nobody Ever Told Me, Lessons from a Dementia Caregiver.” I lined up speeches and just finished training to teach Powerful Tools for Caregivers when the pandemic hit. Everything was cancelled. Would I now isolate myself and wither away? NO! I learned to present Zoom classes and continued to teach or speak through that medium. Now, in-person opportunities are returning.
People are surprised when I admit my age – 83. Many organizations need volunteers. Consider those that interest you, stay active to, like me, age gracefully.
Read more from our Graceful Aging blog here!
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