Jokes :-)
A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "If I show you a really good trick, will you give me a free drink?"
The bartender considers it, then agrees.
The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny rat.
He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano.
The rat stretches, cracks his knuckles, and proceeds to play the blues.
After the man finished his drink, he asked the bartender, "If I show you an even better trick, will you give me free drinks for the rest of the night, the bartender thinks that nothing could possibly top the first trick so he agrees.
The man reaches into another pocket and pulls out a small bullfrog, who begins to sing along with the rat's music.
While the man is enjoying his beverages, a stranger confronts him and offers him $10,000.00 for the bullfrog.
"Sorry," the man replies, "he's not for sale."
The stranger increases the offer to $25,000.00 cash up front.
"No," he insists, "he's not for sale."
The stranger again increases the offer, this time to $50,000.00 cash.
The man finally agrees, and turns the frog over to the stranger in exchange for the money.
"Are you insane?" the bartender demanded.
"That frog could have been worth millions to you, and you let him go for a mere $50,000!"
"Don't worry about it." the man answered.
"The frog was really nothing special.
You see, the rat's a ventriloquist."
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Which month of the year is the shortest?
May. It only has three letters.
The bed store is having a spring sale. Unfortunately, the rest of the beds are still full price
What do gardeners wear on their legs?
Garden hose
What is a flower’s favorite kind of pickle?
A daffo-dill
Why is the letter A like a flower?
Because a B comes after it!
How do you plant a kiss in spring?
With two lips
Why couldn’t the little flower ride a bike?
It didn’t have any petals
How do brand-new spring flowers greet each other?
“Hey, bud!”
Did you hear about the flower who went on a date with another flower?
It’s a budding romance
Should I plant flowers in April?
May as well!
What do you call a bear caught in a spring shower?
A drizzly bear
Which bird should you never let into a jewelry store?
A robin
When it starts raining ducks and chickens, that’s some fowl weather
She has a violet streak
What happens when a flower blushes?
It turns rosy
What did the girl cactus say to the boy cactus?
“I’m so glad we pricked each other!”
A peony saved is a peony earned
