Integrity and Willingness
May/June 2024
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Willing to dive into the steps together? Let us know where and what kind of 12 Step Study you or a few fellows from your meeting would like to attend. Fill out the survey here.

Meeting Updates
We have 26 active meetings in our area, 17 online (in full or in part), 1 phone only, 11 in-person (in full or in part). We invite you to try a new-to-you meeting and explore the different formats. All meeting details can be found on our website.
We also offer special Newcomer Orientation meetings on Zoom on the third Thursday of every month at 6:30 p.m. You can view this event on our Newcomers page by clicking here:
Happenings Around Connecticut
CTIG Workshop on Body Image
June 9, 2024 2-4 pm
St. John’s Episcopal Church, 679 Farmington Ave.
West Hartford, CT 06117
SWCTIG Overeaters Anonymous Retreat
June 21 2:00 pm – June 23 4:00 pm
Sixteenth Annual Retreat
Incarnation Conference Center, 253 Bushy Hill Road,
Deep River, CT 06417.
Additional Happenings
May 31 – June 2: Transforming Our Relationship with Our Higher Power in person retreat in Attleboro, MA organized by the MetroWest intergroup from Massachusetts.
June 7 – 9: A Guided Walk through the 12 Steps of OA in person retreat in Amherst, MA organized by the Western Massachusetts intergroup.
June 14 – 16: It's Worth It in person retreat in Beverly, MA hosted by the OA 90 virtual IG.
June 21 – 23: Tranquility – Recovery Is a Balancing Act in person retreat in Deep River, CT organized by the southwestern Connecticut intergroup. The Tranquility Retreat has 1 scholarship still available, please contact mn678111@gmail.com to use it to attend.
October 25 – 27: Together We Recover in person OA Region 6 convention in Nashua, NH
May & June Step Highlight: Integrity and Willingness
Step 5
Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs
Step Five starts with our Higher Power. Most of us find that without the help of a Power greater than ourselves we are incapable of accepting that it was our attitudes and actions that led to so many of our problems
Step 6
Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
In practice, Step Six may be one of the most difficult of the Twelve Steps because we find that saying we are entirely ready and being entirely ready to take action are two very different things.
"The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of Overeaters Anonymous, 2nd edition, copyright Overeaters Anonymous, Inc. All rights reserved.”
Steps 5 & 6 Traditions
Tradition Five: Each group has but one primary purpose - to carry its message to the compulsive overeater who still suffers.
How do we practice the Fifth Tradition?
  • Do we welcome newcomers to our group and give them individual attention?
  • Do we ever volunteer to help newcomers, visitors or other members who need transportation to attend our meetings?
  • What do we do to welcome back members who are returning to OA?
  • Do we make a point to welcome new members, talk with them, and offer phone numbers?
Tradition Six: An OA group ought never endorse, finance or lend the OA name to any related facility or outside enterprise, lest problems of money property, and prestige divert us from our primary purpose.
How do we practice the Sixth Tradition?
  • Does our group use, sell or display outside literature at our meetings?
  • When we vote on how to use group funds and other resources, are we careful to avoid financing outside enterprises?
  • Are we careful never to use our OA group contacts for personal financial gain? Do we speak up when we see somebody else misusing OA phone lists and/or meetings in such a way?
Excerpts from "The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of Overeaters Anonymous, 2nd edition, copyright Overeaters Anonymous, Inc. All rights reserved.”
Living the Step Principles
Step 5: Integrity
Now, with God's help, we leave rationalization behind and begin to practice integrity. We face the reality of what we've done. We see the part we have played in creating our own misfortunes and realize the futility of continuing to blame others for our eating behaviors and unmanageable lives.
Step 6: Willingness
In OA, we have discovered that humility is simply an awareness of who we really are today and a willingness to become all that we can be. Genuine humility brings an end to the feelings of inadequacy, the self-absorption, and the status seeking.
Excerpts from For Today and The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of Overeaters Anonymous, 2nd edition, copyright Overeaters Anonymous, Inc. All rights reserved.”
From Head to Heart

I was recently in an outside group and found myself agitated at the different approach that others had regarding a personal value of mine, which I clearly feel quite in favor of. As I noticed my contrary resentment, I considered the opportunity to share my perspective and gratitude for how this very scenario was an opportunity offered by my higher power to practice this skill, yet the turnaround was hard to muster. Later I remembered the notion that others are not necessarily opposed to my view, they may simply be unaware of it, similar to how our literature suggests that when we don't follow the traditions it is likely because we haven't learned what they are. Later in a different matter in my life, I noticed myself comparing the upkeep of a certain area to another one with an established spiritual center. I tied together that others with unmanageability may have not heard there is a spiritual connection which can grow the manageability in their life.

That, in fact, is the value of the message I want to carry, within our fellowship and in all my affairs.

-Anonymous, Connecticut
On Step 5
Let me share a little about taking my Fifth Step 42 years ago and then a little about living the
moral principle of this Step – integrity. In hindsight it’s clear that this Step was both cathartic and
healing as well as the beginning of a long journey for an atheist toward a spiritual awakening.

“In my Fifth Step I sat with someone for several hours going through all I had written. He shared
some of his former skeletons which gave me the courage to share mine. The first of several
remarkable things happened with the skeletons. I didn’t realize it until later in the day, but all the
guilt and shame attached to the skeletons disappeared. The vials of poison that had been setting
in the shadows of my brain had disappeared – never to return. Another remarkable thing
happened as I shared myself totally with another human being. The wall I had built to protect
myself from hurt began to slowly crumble. As I made myself vulnerable by disclosing my true
self, I felt like I was rejoining the human race. I trusted this man. I hadn’t truly trusted anyone for
a long time. Later, I came to describe this part of the process as the healing part. And, later, I
came to describe the Fifth Step as the beginning of my spiritual awakening. Holding on to secrets
blocks spiritual progress and freedom. Sharing them frees me to move on without bondage.”
The Step showed that I had indeed taken an honest look at myself, not simply blaming everyone
one else for my issues. It was cleansing. A mountain of guilt about past mistakes was washed
away simply by full disclosure. The shame of being “less than, not good enough” began to
subside as I became able to accept my humanness and imperfections. I was a human being, just
like everyone else, no better no worse. This self-acceptance was the beginning of the healing
process of the Twelve Steps.

I had been hiding out my entire life. By being willing to make myself vulnerable by honestly
opening up to another human being, I was reentering the world of trusting and reconnecting. This
was the wall coming down as mentioned above. Holding on to recovery today means being
careful to not rebuild that wall. Openness, honesty, fearlessly expressing and being who I really
am is at the heart of living Step Five for me. Being who I am, not playacting who I think you
want me to be, or hiding my real self. This opening up and self-acceptance was the first step in
making major changes. I can’t change me until I accept who I am. In the program I’m learned the
change process is “awareness, acceptance, action.” I was now totally open to a new set of ideas,
beliefs, and attitudes.

One last point on self-forgiveness. I learned that the basic instincts and needs of humans are
God-given and therefore okay: to love, to be loved, to belong, to be recognized as a person, to
feel self-worth, to be affirmed, to feel secure materially and socially, to seek sexual gratification.
I’m not a bad person for feeling these needs. What I must avoid is going to destructive extremes
to satisfy them.

Don C.
One day at a time
Disclaimer: personal stories and quotes throughout this newsletter express the experience, strength, and hope of the individual member and not of OA as a whole.


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