April Fools (+1)
I’ve always been intrigued by college newspaper headlines and stories on April Fools’ Day. It started at the University of Vermont when I was an undergrad, and where our campus paper (ironically called The Cynic) would write tongue-in-cheek things about campus personalities, events, buildings, student organizations, and the like that almost sounded real, but not quite. As I went on to grad school and later worked at various universities over the years, I continued to be attentive to the April 1 issues (or thereabouts) and started to see an intriguing cultural zeitgeist of a time. As some know, I like to share interesting stories from The Beacon, our campus newspaper here since 1936, on the annual fundraising hike to the summit of High Mountain. I’ve shared an April Fools story or two in the mix for our walk, and thought I would go back and do some more poking to see what I could turn up. Here are just a few personal favorites:
1963: Waterfalls Raid Shock Students – Federal agents staged a surprise raid in the area of Paterson State's waterfalls and confiscated a still which had been supplying local students with 90 gallons of moonshine daily.
 
1963: Construction on Paterson State’s New $6 Billion Bomb Shelter Is Underway – The new building, when completed In 1977, will double as a sorority beer hall. Milk will also be served after 3 a.m.
 
1966: PSC to Register by Blooper Method – Dr. Sam Blooper of the Registrar's Office has announced the new procedure for next year's speedy IBM registration. He feels that the new method will speed up the process from three weeks to at least a week and a half. After a student receives their registration card they automatically follow the listed routine. Separate all 50 cards according to color, then throw away all pink, red, and left- or right-handed cards.
 
1980: Sex and Hamsters – The biopsychology honors program will present a talk entitled "Sex and Violence in the Golden Hamster" Tuesday, April 24 at 4:30 p.m. in Science Building room 341.
 
1996: WPC to Focus on Morse Code – Officials at the William Paterson College announced this week that the Department of Communication had "found a niche that WPC could specialize in” and would be focusing all efforts from now on teaching Morse code.
 
In the spirit of some lighthearted poking at myself for April Fools’ Day, here are a few “headlines”:
 
Provost Offers Advice on Work-Life Balance – Claims he has it all together. Spouse and colleagues claim otherwise.
 
Antique Prius Club of New Jersey to be Started by Academic VP – When asked if it is possible that a Prius can be considered “antique,” he responded with a hearty, “Why not? I have one!”
 
Mountain Climbing Fraud Suspected: Doctored Video Allegedly on Summit of Mt. Whitney – When asked about it, Provost responded, “But I really was there. It’s an AI conspiracy!”
 
And in the spirit of AI, I asked ChatGPT to write me a few Provost-themed headlines. Here was my favorite:
 
In Shock Move, Provost Introduces "Reverse Homework" Policy – Professors Do Students’ Assignments – Students grade the work but faculty wish they had richer feedback to improve.
 
William Shakespeare once said, "April hath put a spirit of youth in everything." It is OK to once in a while take ourselves a bit more lightly. Happy Spring!
Academic News
Upcoming Workshops. Two great workshops coming up:
 
  • High-Impact Practices to Incorporate Research into Courses on Thursday, April 4, 2024, at 3:15 p.m. in the Atrium Auditorium. Attend in person or via zoom. Refreshments will be provided for all in-person participants. Co-sponsored by the Center for Teaching Excellence and the Research, Scholarship, and Creative Expression Council.

  • Classroom Climate and Culture on Wednesday, April 10, 2024 at 12:30 p.m. and Tuesday, April 16, 2024 at 5:00 p.m. via zoom. Co-sponsored by the Center for Teaching Excellence and the Faculty Senate.
 
History Day. If you’ve never volunteered to be a judge for History Day, you simply must! Talented middle and high school students come to WP from all over the state to compete in the state finals. What a wonderful learning experience it is to see these amazing youth in action! Please go to THIS LINK to sign up. Saturday, May 4, 2024 from 8:00 a.m to 2:00 p.m. (breakfast and lunch included).
 
Commencements 2024. There will be one undergraduate ceremony in the Prudential Center (Wednesday, May 22 | 9:00 a.m.) and two graduate ceremonies in the WP Sports and Recreation Center (Monday, May 20 | 12:00 noon – COE and COSH | 6:00 p.m. – CAHSS and CCOB). Faculty and staff participation is expected. RSVPs by April 12 through the link on the Commencement website. Additional details for faculty can be found on the Provost’s Office News, Events & Reports website.
 
University Core Curriculum. Much prep work is underway behind the scenes forming the Review Panels and finalizing the process by which courses are advanced through a workflow. Faculty who are interested in submitting a course proposal are urged to attend various workshops that are planned for that purpose in May. More information to come.
Facts & Figures
Ten years ago, when our main campus undergraduate student body size was 10,027, we had roughly the same number of UCC courses, a proportion roughly 35 to 1. As we build a new set of UCC courses, we need a portfolio that is smaller and has opportunity for offering multiple sections of a course. Doing so will also mean having a course meet the needs of as wide a number of programs as possible. That is also how one best builds for quality and distinction.
Quotables (from ChatGPT’s lightbulb repertoire)
How many faculty members does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one, but they'll spend the entire class discussing the historical and theoretical implications of light and darkness before getting to it.
 
How many administrators does it take to change a lightbulb? They don't change lightbulbs, they just blame the darkness on the previous administration!
The Provost’s Office is Brenda, Claudia T., Claudia C., Kara, Rhonda, Sandy, and Josh. You can reach us at 973.720.2122 • [email protected]
Office of the Provost | 973.720.2122 | [email protected]