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Dear Brothers and Sisters in Christ:
Alanis Morisette has a song in which the third verse says “Why are you so petrified of silence? Here, can you handle this? (silence) Did you think about your bills, your ex, your deadlines, or when you think you're gonna die? Or did you long for the next distraction?” I was thinking about the line a lot on Monday night during a worship service.
I am currently in Las Cruces, coming back this afternoon, for clergy retreat. This year we are meeting at a Franciscan retreat center rather than Sacramento as has always happened in the past. And apparently this is the 800th anniversary of the death of St. Francis. But, on Monday we had a Taizé style worship service, which is a more meditative type of service. During the midst of it, there was a long period of silence.
I know that there are people for whom silence is a definite problem, as Alanis points out. And there is also a strong push in Christianity for times of silence. To sit and simply be in the presence of God. This is highly emphasized, and we even talk about God’s voice being the still small voice. And there is a definite place in spiritual practices for silence, and sometimes the longer the better.
And yet, I am comfortable with silence and it doesn’t bother me. Now in my “regular” life I like to have something on the background, either music or the TV. This actually helps me concentrate as it gives a part of my mind something to focus on so that the other part of my brain can be focusing on the task at hand. But, I can also just sit in silence, and for long periods of time, and this includes being by myself.
And so, as we were meditating Monday night I started thinking about silence and the fact that because it is fairly easy for me to do, that it doesn’t push me in my faith or spiritual practices. It’s fairly easy. Now, all spiritual practices don’t have to be hard, but there should be room to grow in them. And so that got me thinking about my spiritual disciplines, and if silence is easy, is there an opposite of that that I know would be hard? And, obviously, the opposite of silence is noise, or perhaps chaos. Is there a spiritual discipline that emphasizes that?
I don’t remember ever reading about, or having reference to, finding God in noise or cultivating that in spiritual practices. Silence yes, noise no. And I can say that loud continuous noise bothers me, and I like to leave if it all possible. We once went to a restaurant and it was so noisy that it was hard to hear the people next to you, plus they had Fox News on the TV, and we have never gone back. It was not an environment that was conducive to my doing well.
And so, I went to a person here at the conference whom I know has a strong background in spiritual practices and I asked her if she knew of anyone or anything that promoted the opposite of silence. And is that something that I should perhaps be trying to push myself on, to find God in those moments when I want to cover my ears and yell “would everyone please be quiet”? The simple answer was no, she could not recall that at all, and it got her pondering that as a spiritual discipline too.
But, as we were having this conversation, someone overheard it and said that Thomas Merton, who was a Trappist monk, had a spiritual awakening in the midst of the city. Trappists don’t take a vow of silence, but they do discourage “idle chatter” with an emphasis on silence and continuous prayer, so their monasteries are much more contemplative. But, it was in moving out of that life that Merton felt the unifying connectedness of everyone and everything in the midst of the hustle and bustle of the city. This led him to seek specific permission to spend more time outside the monastery in order to be in the midst of the noise and the chaos.
I don’t know where to go yet with this idea, or how it even might work. And the person I originally approached is also contemplating it, because she too is comfortable in silence. But it has me thinking about where I have room to grow, and to seek new ways to experience God. And if that involves being in more noisy and chaotic situations I know I will be stepping way outside of my comfort zone.
But just as God is found in the still small voice, I know that sometimes God is found in the thunderclap. Sometimes we have to be still and simply be to experience God, and maybe, sometimes, we have to do the opposite? I don’t know.
Where are you comfortable in your spiritual life, and where might you need to be pushed to try and experience something new?
Blessings,
John
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