February, 2012


Something Always Goes "Wrong"  




How do we define and perceive wrong?


My son, a high-school junior, is an avid actor and since 5th grade has enjoyed several roles in school productions, experiencing many hours on stage. Driving to school the other day we were talking about his current play, and he made the statement that in every show he's been in, something goes wrong. The directors, actors, musicians, stage hands, etc. have a plan and an expectation of how the performance should manifest. Knight said that in his experience, something always occurs that was different than expected or desired.  This is perceived as wrong


I commented, "isn't it fascinating that even though something goes wrong, the audience still greatly enjoys the production and probably does not even notice any problem?" And how often do we have "pleasant" mishaps? These are the things that go wrong and turn out better than we planned or imagined. Let's use the play production as a mirror for financial planning and all matters related to money.  Perhaps we could temper our reactivity to the taboo and hot topic of money.


We could say that something always goes wrong, or we could say that something always manifests differently than we plan or imagine. We focus on the view of wrong because when it comes to money, for most of us our tolerance for negative states is far lower than our level of opening for positive states. This statement relates to behavioral finance studies where our tendency as human beings is to magnify risks and minimize rewards; we have a stronger aversion to risk, than attraction to gains. When it comes to money and finance, we pay more attention to potential problems and what goes wrong, than to rewards and what goes right.


What if we were able to see plans and expectations as: what is possible, rather than, this is how it should be?  How do you believe the response would be for the production people during the play? Their experience might be one of surprises and delight at mishaps and changes, rather than disappointment and defining them as wrong. In those circumstances when something does go wrong (defined by someone is harmed), this is the opening for learning and we ask, what can I learn from this situation?


"Right" or "Wrong," it doesn't matter!  There is always an opening.


Opening without labels,


In This Issue
5-Minute TRY It!
Upcoming Course: Women, Wealth & Wisdom
This Month's Article: "Your Most Important Love Letter"
Be Moved...
Be Inspired...
5-Minute TRY It
Have a Five-Year-Old Fit

Note:  I admit it. This Try-It indulges the little one in you that did not fully express his/her anger.


1.  Minute one:   Bring to mind a recent or distant experience of anger, frustration, agitation, irritation or rage.  Allow the story to fully engage your senses.


2.  Minute two:   With the story and emotion in full energy, tune into your body and notice where the tension is most alive.


3.  Minute three:  Now, vigorously move your body. Stomp your feet. Flap your arms. Clench your teeth and jaws. Gyrate your torso. Fully engage your body!   


4.  Minute four:  Add sound to your movement to match the energy. Experiment with high and low tones. Sustain the sound that most enlivens and matches you.


5.  Minute five:  Thoroughly exhaust the energy you brought to this practice. Transition finding your breath into a calm presence.


Complete your practice by reflecting on your story and notice the shifts in your body (thoughts, feelings and sensations).  What has opened for you?

Women, Wealth & Wisdom  
with Gayle Colman & Nicole Churchill

Gather with other women in a nurturing environment to explore wealth beyond the numbers. As a woman fully engaged in LIFE, discover your new way of being and living a wealthy life.  This engaging and unique group experience provides fertile ground for seeing clearly, gaining support and motivation and offering your wisdom to the world.

Bi-Weekly, February 14th-May 22nd
at Samadhi in Newton Centre, MA

Your Most Important Love Letter
(... and BTW, don't leave a mess)


February, the month of Love and Valentine's Day, I thought it would be perfect to devote our attention to estate plans, those plans that come to life during and after one's last life transition.  The typical "basic" estate documents and a brief definition are outlined below. Depending upon your situation, including the state in which you reside, you may or may not need all of them.  I highly recommended that you make a conscious decision about each.

Basic Estate Documents


Durable Power of Attorney for finances - lets you name a person to handle your finances in times when you are unable to handle them yourself.


Durable Power of Attorney for health care, or health care proxy - lets you name the person you want making your health care decisions if you are unable to make them yourself.


Living Will - spells out your wishes regarding end-of-life care and removes the burden of making these decisions from your relatives.


Last Will and Testament - lets you provide direction about how your assets are to be distributed and who is to be the guardian for minor children.


Revocable Living Trust - enables the assets you put in the trust to be distributed to your heirs without going through probate. Also enables you to name a successor trustee who can step in to manage the trust assets during your life-time, if you become incapacitated.


Estate documents are the last formal communication from one family member or friend to another...  


Continue reading this article on my website.


Be Moved


We are all born for love.  It is the principle of existence, and its only end.


~Benjamin Disraeli

Please join me for our next 
MoneyMoves™ TeleConnection
when we will continue our year-long exploration of 
Financial Fitness!
Monday, February 13th
8pm-9pm EST
The call-in information will be emailed to you.
Be Inspired
Ethical Wills

 by Susan Turnbull


Clear Your Home,
Clear Your Life

by Stephanie 

Bennett Vogt

Weekly Wonder


On January 31st, I participated in a Boston Globe Chat, "Four financial seasons: integrating numbers and life."  Click here to read the Chat transcript on

  Join My Mailing List