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The number of funerals we have had in the past few weeks has been unparalleled. Please note that the above are members and friends whom we have lost so far this Conference Year (after June). They are in death order, starting with the most recent. You all may not be aware of how “busy” some of our members get, upon learning about the death of one of our own. By the time the musical prelude is playing, and I say the words, “All rise,” and the family processes towards their reserved places in the Sanctuary, SO MANY THINGS BEHIND THE SCENES have taken place, to ensure the service goes smoothly, brings comfort to the family, and honors God and our beloved church member.
You may not know it; but there is a form, created by Bev. Tuggle, entitled, Information for Celebration of Life. We NEEDED this form. It helps the deceased families and those helping with the service, to know what is needed. The form contains logistical information about the service, funeral home, who is doing what, and any fees associated with the service. Families need the form because when they are distraught, it is difficult to remember details. WE need the form, so that we can carry out the families’ wishes, in detail.
So, we begin with this informational form. I have a face-to-face meeting with the family. If I know the member, writing the Eulogy is easy and very personal to me. If I do not know the person, family stories and memories are of particular importance. In both cases, I want to know more about the deceased member, from the perspective of those who knew him/her best. I also know, remembering and telling family stories is “good medicine” for those who grieve.
We pin down the date and time for the service. Unless there is something MAJOR going on at the church, we give precedence to the family’s wishes. Between Bev. Tuggle and I, a person is secured, to do the Audio and Visual work for the service. Often this person is David Erickson, for whom we are IMMENSELY grateful. A musician is identified. Usually, Deb Friddle does this for us; and as with David E., we are so BLESSED by Deb’s willingness to serve. She and David rarely turn us down. If the family wants a slide presentation, Sara Charlton is “at the ready.” The family sends photos to Sara; and she tells their visual life story, beautifully. Chloe and Sara work together to prepare the power point slides for the worship service itself. They type up the Order of Service and include the lyrics for hymns used during worship.
While Chloe and I work on the programs, Marty Portmann figures out which “Hospitality Team” is next in the rotation to prepare the reception for the family. Currently, there are three teams:
Group 1-Leaders are Louise Bachman and Carol Morgan
Group 2-Leaders are Marty Portmann and Anna Marie Charlton
Group 3-Leaders are Mary Kozlik and Carol Dugger
Elaine Passman is the Decorating Committee Chairperson. There are few themes one can ask for, that she does not have in her “collection.”
We are hoping to add a fourth team soon; and welcome some of our newer members to serve on a team.
Chloe and I spend about a day working on the programs. We are careful to make them as personal as we can. We work on shading, and positioning of photos, finding just the right color that is pleasing to the family. We are in constant contact with a family member to check, change, and give the final approval of the finished program. We make sure the wording and Order of Service are just the way they should be. Before we print the programs, we get several “eyes” on the prototype copy, for editing purposes.
Charles gets the word on how many tables are needed and sets the tables and chairs up in the fellowship hall. On the day of the service, he also sets up the well decorated Welcome Center table with water. He makes the Parlor a welcoming space for family and close friends to gather before the service begins. Greeters are at the front door, with smiling faces and programs in hand, as guests arrive. I place a set of programs in the parlor for the family members. I spend time meeting those who are visiting from near and far. Before the service, we form a circle and I offer a prayer for the family.
Charles and I set up a large photo of the deceased on an easel and position the flowers in the Sanctuary (if the flowers are put in place by the funeral home). If there is an urn, we set up the table containing the urn, making it look beautiful and serene.
Hospitality team members go to work, coordinating the themes, colors, and items that represent the deceased. Elaine Passman’s son-in-law brings the ironed tablecloths and carefully chosen items that will grace the tables used in the reception. There is usually a “family/memorial table,” with family photos displayed. The food tables, exquisitely decorated, in keeping with colors and themes representing the person’s life. Finally, the tables where guests will dine, are carefully decorated. Some members of the team are in the kitchen, some are setting up food in the fellowship hall, some are making sure food is replenished throughout the reception; and some are preparing the beverage table. Chuck Truesdale is on hand because he likes to do the dishes! He puts on his special apron and goes to work!!
So, planning a funeral is a “church family” affair. It takes a VILLAGE. I am thankful to be part of this one!
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