Greetings and Blessings, Beloved Community!

We are just coming off a fantastic weekend with David Hayward, the NakedPastor. We had a sold-out crowd on Friday evening as we shared a meal and conversation with one another before hearing from David as he discussed his process of deconstruction and his art. Saturday morning David continued to share about the process of deconstruction through the lens of the stages of grief as described by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross; Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance. David offered humor, creativity, love, and a high degree of honesty to all who attended. Attendees in turn asked deep and thoughtful questions leading to wonderful conversations. I am grateful to all who attended one or both sessions.

Thank you for supporting this event. I encourage you to check David out online at nakedpastor.com and you can follow him on Facebook and Instagram. We still have some of his prints available for purchase at the fantastic deal of $20/print, and we will have the recording of Saturday’s session posted soon.

I have been sharing with you some thoughts from Monica Guzman’s book, I Never Thought of It That Way. In her book she offers some very concrete steps by which we can have bridging conversations with those who hold different political views than we do.

Here are some of her suggestions to having effective bridging conversations:

First, we need to go into the conversation with a mindset of curiosity.

• Curiosity vs Certainty
• Curiosity vs Condescension
• Curiosity takes practice
• Curiosity tells people that they matter

Next, we need to create an environment that will support and facilitate a bridging conversation.

• Time – Allow plenty of time for the conversation.
• Attention – Stay focused on the conversation, eliminate distractions.
• Parity – Be sure that you and the other have a chance to share.
• Containment – Do not have these conversations on social media. This should be a 1:1 conversation.
• Embodiment – Ideally, each person should be able to see the other’s body language.

Finally, ask questions in a genuine spirit of inquiry…lots of questions. Here are a few examples:

• How did you come to believe…? – Don’t ask “why”. Allow others to tell their story. It is a tour not a trial. Remember, we see the world not with our eyes but by our biographies.
• What are your concerns about…?
• What are your hopes when it comes to…?
• When it comes to the issue of …, what is important to you?
• When you use the term …, what do you mean? – Validate that there is a shared understanding of key terms being used

These are skills that take practice. Build small bridges first. With Thanksgiving coming, it may be the perfect time to try them out. I would also encourage you to get a Bridge Buddy. This is someone with whom you can debrief after you attempt a bridging conversation. Together you can process what went well and what you can do to improve your bridging conversation skills. They should share your commitment to having bridging conversations. Never in our lifetime have the skills to have these types of conversations been more important.



Stay curious, connected, and committed my friends!



Blessings to you all,

Rev. Seth Stearns

Minister of Spiritual Life & Learning

SLLC Community,

what are you reading?

Abbey Griffith recommends two books this month.

Both thumbs up!!

• How to Know a Person - The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen by David Brooks "I loved this book! I listened to the audiobook, read by the author, and he has a soothing voice. David Brooks has done his research on how to really see people. I think this is a book I will listen to again, and I don't say that about very many books!"
• Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg "My husband and I read this with another couple, and then we met for dinner to discuss it. We had so much to talk about, and I think it will help all four of us to communicate more clearly and with more thoughtfulness and compassion."

Enneagram Institute of Ohio

Check them out on Facebook and X

If you would like to unsubscribe, please reply to this email.