A resource for families in Santa Cruz County
Taking Flight
Dear Parents,

I'm excited that local camps can open and that you have choices that work for your specific situations. Camps have established safety measures which meet all guidelines. You can read about their procedures online or call to talk with them.

For those of you who are not yet venturing forth to summer group activities, check out this online course: Summer Camp - Wilderness Survival! with Outschool .

When the children return to the house after a day of camping, it's a treat to settle down with a good book. Three local programs support reading:
  • LitWits offers a fabulous summer reading list for kids, AND two ways to bring great books to life: an online group or an at-home kit.
  • The libraries offer a rewarding summer reading program, Imagine Your Story, for all ages.
  • Bookshop Santa Cruz has a 6-book program carefully geared to several age groups.
As our high school graduates take flight for their next adventure we parents experience mixed emotions of pride and joy in their achievements, intertwined with a little sadness because we are going to miss them terribly. Yet we still have the summer with them and the promise of sweet returns. We are their foundation. Congratulations parents!

We watched in wonder the bright International Space Station glide across the sky. It’s kind of comforting... something good and right and working... that and knowing most people are good and responsible.

Have a great weekend including a park or beach walk or run, Parmalee
Ask Nicole
Parenting Teens During Uncertain Times

by Nicole M. Young, MSW
So much has happened – and not happened – in the last few months because of COVID-19. Schools and many child care facilities closed. Businesses closed or rapidly changed the way they serve customers. Parks and beaches closed, then reopened, then closed during peak hours of the day. Proms, graduations, birthday parties, and holiday gatherings were canceled, postponed, or changed to virtual gatherings. Many parents took on the additional job of overseeing distance learning, and many others lost their jobs and are struggling financially. Some days, the pace of change and level of stress caused by COVID-19 is dizzying and overwhelming. And although some parts of the community are starting to open up, the economic and emotional toll of COVID-19 is likely to last for a long time. Now, more than ever, is the time to take care of ourselves, our families, and our community.

Dear Nicole, I’m a single dad with two teens. We’ve been sheltering in place and doing ok, but my kids stay in their rooms all day watching videos or playing video games. I’ve tried to have them follow a schedule, be active, and talk about their feelings, but they don’t like any of my suggestions. They say they’re fine and want to be left alone. The more I try to talk with them, the more they ignore me, and sometimes we end up arguing. What can I do?  Raúl

Dear Raúl,
I’m sure many parents of teens can relate! COVID-19 has disrupted daily life beyond belief, and even “the experts” can’t accurately predict what will happen next. The uncertainty about this pandemic has left many children, teens, and adults feeling anxious, frustrated, lonely, scared, and even angry. Your teens are probably trying to make sense of the disruptions to their lives. This is a good time to provide support, even if it doesn’t seem like they want it. Here are some tips to try:

Take care of yourself. It’s like putting on your oxygen mask before helping others. Notice your own thoughts and feelings and take small breaks when you’re feeling stretched to your limits. Walk away from the stressful situation if you can. Take deep breaths, exercise, listen to music, or talk to someone supportive. Doing something you enjoy – even if it’s only for a few minutes at a time throughout the day – can help reduce your own stress and worries so that you have the emotional energy to support your teens.
Let your teens know you’re there for them. Some kids want to ask questions or talk about their feelings, while others need more time or encouragement before they’re ready to talk. And still others would rather express themselves through art, music, writing, cooking, playing games, or physical activity instead of talking. Even if your teens don’t want to have a deep discussion, acknowledge that COVID-19 has turned life upside down and it’s natural to have many thoughts and feelings about it. Let them know you’re available if they ever have questions or want to talk, then follow their lead.

Have casual conversations about their interests. Ask what they want to eat, or ask them to tell you about a video they watched or the latest game they’re playing. This shows you value their opinions and interests – and most importantly, it keeps the lines of communication open.

Provide support when they’re ready. If your teens ask a question or want to talk, give them your full attention. Listen and ask open-ended questions to find out what they already know and how they feel about it (“What have you heard?” or “How do you feel about that?”). Acknowledge and normalize their feelings (“It’s natural to be worried. A lot of people feel the same way.”). Then give them praise and encouragement to keep sharing what’s on their minds (“That’s a good question. I’m glad you asked it.”).

FINAL THOUGHTS: The best thing we can do for our families is take care of our physical and emotional well-being and support each other. If your teens’ behaviors become more concerning (not sleeping or eating, more withdrawn or aggressive), reach out for additional support. Contact First 5 Santa Cruz at 465-2217 or triplep@first5scc.org for Triple P parenting support or dial 211 (or text your zip code to 898-211) to find counseling and other resources.

Nicole Young is the mother of two children, ages 16 and 20, who also manages Santa Cruz County’s Triple P – Positive Parenting Program, the world’s leading positive parenting program. Scientifically proven, Triple P is made available locally by First 5 Santa Cruz County, the Santa Cruz County Health Services Agency (Mental Health Services Act) and the Santa Cruz County Human Services Department. To find a Triple P parenting class or practitioner, visit http:// triplep.first5scc.org , www.facebook.com/triplepsc c or contact First 5 Santa Cruz County at 465-2217 or triplep@first5scc.org .
Welcome to the Directory!
Frontier Ranch Day Camp
A Ministry of Mission Springs

You will not be bored during your week at Frontier Ranch. You get to fly down our 300+ foot zip line, ride our 50cc off-road motorcycles, learn to make amazing new crafts, and enjoy many more activities during your week at camp! Our skits and games will give you some great memories and make you laugh so hard your side will ache. Frontier Ranch
CDRC - Child Development Resource Center

Finding the right child care is one of the most important decisions your family may need to make. The early care and education specialists at CDRC can answer your questions—on the phone, or in person—to help you find child care that meets your needs.

Events from the Calendar
Join Santiago for a Virtual Magic Show
June 4 @ 2:00 pm
Join Santiago for a Virtual Magic Show through The Santa Cruz Public Library, June 4th, at 2:00pm via Zoom! Details
Triple P Workshop: Parenting in Uncertain Times
June 5 @ 11:00 am - 12:30 pm
Triple P Workshop: Parenting in Uncertain Times, 4 Part Series Details
and
June 12 @ 11:00 am - 12:30 pm
Triple P Workshop: Parenting in Uncertain Times, 4 Part Series Details
UCSC Market Cart sells organically grown produce, herbs and flowers
June 5 @ 12pm - 6pm , UCSC Market Cart sells organically grown produce, herbs and flowers Details
LIBRARIES 2020 SUMMER READING PROGRAM: IMAGINE YOUR STORY
June 8
An Events & Reading Program for Babies, Toddlers, Kids, Teens, and Adults! Details
Learn about homeschooling/independent study
June 9, 10am - Learn about homeschooling/independent study Details
Triple P Workshop: Teaching Children to do Chores
June 10 @ 3:00 pm - 4:00 pm
Attend this FREE Triple P workshop on Zoom to learn:
• Tools to help you introduce your child to household chores
• How to make chores less stressful for you and your child
• Ways to encourage your child to do chores Details
Tales to Tails goes virtual!
June 10 @ 10:00 am - 11:00 am - Tales to Tails goes virtual! Details
Rockin’ Pop-Up with the Geology Gents
June 10 @ 3:00 pm
Join the Geology Gents, Gavin and Graham, for weekly conversations about rocks live on Facebook. Details
Join SCPL for a weekly Dungeons & Dragons campaign
June 12 @ 1:00 pm - 4:00 pm
Join SCPL for a weekly Dungeons & Dragons campaign Details
Are you new to homeschooling or interested in starting?
June 12 @ 7:00 pm
Are you new to homeschooling or interested in starting? Or have you been homeschooling for a few years and find yourself needing a fresh perspective? Details
The Canary in the Coal Mine of Kids’ Character
Chores

Last month, Business Insider ran a list of 13 things parents can do to turn their child into a successful adult. The first item on the list was to make a child do chores.

Given the fact that only 28 percent of parents require their children to do chores, it seems that we’re destined for a generation of unsuccessful adults. And according to recent statements by pediatrician Deborah Gilboa, children who don’t do chores will not only be unsuccessful in material achievements, they will also be unsuccessful in the area of moral character.

“Chores,” Gilboa noted, “are the canary in the coal mine of kids’ character.”

She goes on to say that parents who allow children to get out of chores because they are too busy are raising children to be selfish:
“If we see teens as selfish, it is only because we have given them the opportunity to focus on themselves. …

Taking out the garbage builds character. Family work proves to kids that they’re not above serving the needs of the group – that they’re not exempt from helping. We’re convincing our kids that their character isn’t quite as important to us as their achievements.”

Furthermore, Dr. Gilboa notes that parents who worry chores will make their children unhappy are barking up the wrong tree:

“Their happiness is not my responsibility. Their character is my responsibility.”

Would you agree with Dr. Gilboa? Is it time that parents realize that sparing their children from work is not a service, but a detriment to them socially, physically, and morally?

“Idleness, and its Amusements are in the End more tiresome than Labour itself.” – Benjamin Franklin, 1757

Annie Holmquist is editor of Intellectual Takeout , an online magazine and sister publication of Chronicles.
Others' Perspectives

America's Fatherless Ache Exposed by Humble YouTube Dad
recent post on Imgur caught my eye for its startling glimpse into the true state of American families. Seeking to be a help to others, a young man posted a link to his father’s new YouTube channel titled “ Dad, how do I?” The channel was born out of firsthand experience of growing up without a father present to teach vital life skills. Among other things, this channel features a father of two grown children demonstrating how to change a tire, iron a shirt, and fix a leaking toilet. Read more

Advice from My Father
By Devin Foley
A unique perspective on debt, college, education, work and life. Read more

7 Dale Carnegie principles for dealing with the coronavirus
by David J. Urban
What can Dale Carnegie, someone who died in 1955, teach us about dealing constructively with the Covid-19 crisis in 2020? The answer? Plenty.
Carnegie struggled for much of his young life, emerging from humble beginnings, bouncing around the country trying to find work. He found his major success in 1936, when times were really tough, with the publication of his classic book, “How to Win Friends and Influence People.” The publisher didn’t want to commit to a huge production run for the book, since the editors weren’t convinced it would sell. Now, over 80 years later, tens of millions of people have bought the book, and it has positively influenced countless others.

Carnegie published other books, including “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living,” which contains some critical lessons for us as we deal with Covid-19. Here are just a few. The 7 Principles>>>