Newsletter - 3rd Quarter 2018
The Sexual Freedom Parade!
By Jackie Melfi, Open Love 101

This year’s NCSF Parade was off the charts! A sea of white wove its way down Bourbon Street as thousands of swingers donning white crowded the pavement in a show of solidarity, and hundreds of couples and singles proudly carried signs conveying the benefits of a more open relationship.

“My Wife Is My Wingwoman!”

“Our Marriage Works!”

“We Support Sexual Freedom!”

…are just a sampling of proud declarations written on poster board for all the world to see (or at least anyone walking down Bourbon Street).
What I found most interesting about my ride down the famous street was the attitude of those watching the parade. In years past, I might have spotted some eye rolling or finger pointing from the crowd. What I saw this year was engagement. Granted, I am sure the parade made its way onto thousands of Instagram and Facebook accounts, as the phones came out and filming began, but no one was turning away. Who knows, this might have been the first time some of these people had come face to face with couples and singles ADMITTING their involvement in the swinging world.
Our sheer numbers alone fostered more of a, “You go girl” response from the crowd rather than a finger wagging admonishment. I captured my own footage of recipients watching our police escorted procession. John and I both witnessed smiles, cheers, and a leaning into our message from the sidelines. This was support in its simplest form. While some might not necessarily agree with our definition, the overall reaction was an acknowledgement that we had the right to foster a partnership that works for us. This is change. This is critical mass. The vibration of positivity was contagious. By the end of the parade, I was a ball of energy and already looking forward to next year!

Midwest Regional Consent Summit
The Columbus Space is the gracious host of our NCSF Midwest Regional Consent Summit at their wonderful and welcoming community center!

Saturday, Nov 3rd @ 10 am
The Columbus Space
180 Outerbelt St.
Columbus, OH 43213

Discussions surrounding issues of consent have never before been more in the foreground than today. And communities are made stronger when we all come together to share ideas on such an important topic!

It's a "Mixed Format" event - Part panel, Part Un-Con, and Part "Make-your-own-experience." This will be a wonderful combination of knowledge sharing, information gathering, with several structured panels. And several of the NCSF Board Members will be in attendance! This is a fantastic way of interacting that caters to all kinds of learners.

Schedule –

Doors will open at 9:30 am
Opening remarks will be at 10:00 am
The initial panel discussion will commence at 10:30 am
Breakout sessions will run from 11:45 am – 1:30 pm
At 1:00 pm-2:00 pm there will be a buffet style deli lunch provided
Afternoon Presentations will be from 2:15 pm-4:00 pm
Second Breakout Session will run from 4:00 pm-6:00 pm
Closing circle will be at 6:00 pm

“Learn, Share, Grow, and Help Foster Positive Change in the Community! ”

And yes, there will be an After Summit Party!

With your help, we are looking forward to building something amazing!
NCSF's Race Bannon Advocacy Award
NCSF is proud to announce that the 2018 Race Bannon Advocacy Award was presented to Race Bannon on Friday August 10th. 

NCSF honors Race with our award in recognition of his support for research, community development and advocacy, and for a lifetime of tireless work and enduring contributions to the alternative sexuality communities. NCSF has named our advocacy award after Race, and will present the Race Bannon Advocacy Award to a professional every year whose work has made a significant impact on our communities and our fight against discrimination.

The pop-up award ceremony was held at 575 Castro Street, the former site of Harvey Milk’s camera shop in San Francisco, as a way to remember the activists whose footsteps we follow.
Poly Dallas Millennium 2018 Honors NCSF
Keira Harbison, Vice-Chairperson of NCSF, was proud to receive the Pledge Allegiance to the Power of Change award on behalf of NCSF from Ruby B. Johnson, LCSW, LCDC, NCSF Board Member and representative of Coalition Partner Polly Dallas Millennium!

The award was given by PDM in recognition of NCSF's continuing efforts to embrace diversity and inclusion through Board and Staff trainings, leadership recruitment and outreach focus. NCSF was a proud participant at PDM, an annual symposium that provides a sex-positive safe space for those seeking knowledge about ethical nonmonogamy.

Clockwise below: Julian Addams Wolf, NCSF Board Member, was a Featured Speaker at Polly Dallas Millennium. Presenting at PDM was Choc Trei, Ms. SELF, NCSF Board Member & Coalition Partner, 1st Capital Finance. Keira and Jeri Lynn Astra Hebert on the bottom right. Also Power at PDM!
Incident Reporting & Response – 3rd Quarter 2018 report
NCSF’s Incident Reporting & Response received 62 reports & requests for assistance from individuals, groups and businesses in July, August & September 2018. That is down from 76 in the 2nd Quarter, and 87 in the 1st Quarter 2018, but still a 50% higher report rate than the last two quarters of 2017.

Find out the kind of reports we received in the 3rd Quarter.
NCSF Thanks July-Sept, 2018
3rd Quarter Donation Report
Thank you to Russell J. Stambaugh, a Board Member of NCSF, for donating $4,000 to the NCSF Foundation to help support NCSF’s educational outreach with AASECT and the APA.

Thank you to Jaiya, Inc., an NCSF Coalition Partner, for donating $530 to the NCSF Foundation in July, $720 in August and $515 in September for a total of $1,765.

Thank you to for becoming an NCSF Coalition Partner and to the employees of for donating $750 as their 2018 fundraiser for NCSF.

NCSF Thanks James Dunyak, NCSF’s New England Advocate, for donating $200 in July, $200 in August and $200 in September for a total of $600.

NCSF thanks our Coalition Partner, Adventures in Sexuality, for raising $204 through a 50/50 raffle at COPE in July, along with another $259 raised at NCSF’s Coffee and Consent Bar at the event that was hosted by Jackie (NCSF Board Member) for a total of $463.
NCSF is Out and About!
NCSF attended subCON 2018!

Cookies & Consent at subCON NYC sparked a lively consent discussion led by Heather Gardner, a member of NCSF’s Incident Reporting & Response Team.

subCON NYC is a weekend long, New York City-centered convention curated by SSASE, an organization focused on social and educational opportunities for women and gender nonconforming "s-types." The focus of subCON is to provide classes uniquely focused on the submissive experience and are all taught by and from the
perspective of s-type individuals from around the country.

West Hot-lanta Interactive Munch & Power Exchange Reflections (WHIMPER) meets in West Atlanta, GA to support people interested in alternative lifestyles (BDSM, Polyamory, Fetish & Pansexual). They hosted Consent Talks! in July featuring Ceyda Trei, SE Regional Coalition Partner (CP) Lead & Choc Trei, Ms. Southeast Leatherfest 2018 and NCSF Board Member. A highlight was participation by Coalition Partner: Sheffie Robinson of Touco Direct, LLC.
Membership Director Kelly Beaton, and Board Members Russell J. Stambaugh and Susan Wright at the NCSF exhibit at the American Psychological Association's annual conference in San Francisco. NCSF networked with APA professionals and distributed educational material to help them better understand consensual kink and nonmonogamy. #APA2018
NCSF Board Member Ruby B. Johnson, LCSW, LCDC, and Ceyda with the House of Trei, NCSF Southern Advocates, represented NCSF at Sex Down South Conference in Atlanta in September.
The NCSF Consent Social at Arizona Power Exchange, co-sponsor of Consent Month with NCSF, had consent games led by Susan Wright (NCSF Chairperson) and plenty of photo ops for the Consent Month Photo Contest.
Spreading the word about NCSF
@ MsC 2018 is Max Rulz, NCSF Board Member, and Jaki Griot, NCSF Media Update Digest Editor and editor of Perverts of Color Zine, a bi-monthly publication dedicated to kinky people of color and alternative sexuality @pervertsofcolor

James Dunyak, NCSF New England Advocate represented NCSF at Folsom Street Fair, giving away literature and doing voter registration!
Heather Gardner, a member of NCSF’s Incident Reporting & Response Team, represented NCSF at the Crucible’s LF&P #36 (Leather Flea Market & Play Party) in Washington DC on Sept 15.
The Benefits of Coalition Partner Membership
NCSF hosts a Coalition Partner Town Hall online every Quarter to discuss important issues facing our communities today. In June, we talked about FOSTA/SESTA and what groups and websites can do to protect themselves. In September, we talked about how groups and events can deal with consent incidents, from questions to ask when investigating reports to liability issues and sanctions. This webinar was recorded exclusively for Coalition Partners.

At our next Coalition Partner Town Hall on January 20th, we will provide a Diversity Training that is conducted by a qualified professional who will provide handouts and resources that focus on welcoming and inclusion of POCs, differently-abled individuals, sexism and sharing power. We will record the training for Coalition Partners who can't make the day of the webinar.

Ask your group, event or business to join NCSF today and take advantage of all our Coalition offers!
Guest Blog
What Therapists Need to Know About Consensual Non-monogamy
By Heath Schechinger, Ph.D.

Too many clients who are in consensual non-monogamous (CNM) relationships have to educate their therapists. Too many of them discontinue therapy because their therapist judged them, didn’t know enough about CNM to be helpful, or worse, makes actively stigmatizing comments such as “polyamory isn’t stable,” “women can’t do non-monogamy,” or “we can’t accept you to our therapy group as you’re non-monogamous — you wouldn’t fit in.” These are real quotes from  a study about the experiences of CNM clients in therapy  a couple of colleagues and I recently had accepted for publication in Journal for Clinical and Consulting Psychology.

We believe our results clearly highlight how we need to start taking the mental health needs of the CNM community seriously. For context, around 4–5% of people in the United States report that they are in CNM relationships, a comparable number to how many people identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender. More than one in five adults have also tried CNM at some point, which is not far off from how many people own a cat. We also know that interest and awareness of CNM, especially open relationships and polyamory, is on the rise, despite evidence of blatant stigma directed toward this population.

It is still rare, however, for mental and medical health professionals to receive training on how to effectively support people who are engaging in or exploring consensual non-monogamy. Given what we know about minority stress causing additional mental health burdens, I am concerned about the lack of support this community is receiving.

As co-chair of the American Psychological Association’s Division 44 Consensual Non-monogamy Task Force, I’m calling for my colleagues to thoughtfully examine our assumptions around monogamy, pursue and promote education about relationship diversity, and approach this issue with the same level of respect and care that we do with other marginalized communities.

To find out more about the Task Force on Non-monogamy initiatives, read on...
Media Updates and Web Features
NCSF Media Updates are a sampling of recent stories printed in US newspapers, magazines, and selected websites containing significant mention of BDSM-leather-fetish, polyamory, or Lifestyle issues and topics. These stories may be positive, negative, accurate, inaccurate or anywhere in between.

NCSF publishes the Media Updates to provide readers with a comprehensive look at what media outlets are writing about these topics and to urge everyone to make comments that dispute stereotypes about alternative sexuality. NCSF permits and encourages readers to forward these Media Updates where appropriate.

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