The American Law Institute (ALI) has approved the revised Model Penal Code on Sexual Assault, which decriminalizes BDSM activities in connection with sexual penetration, oral sex or sexual contact.

Watch the ALI video summarizing the new MPC on Sexual Assault – Affirmative Defense of Explicit Prior Permission starts at 14:20.

Read the text of the new MPC: Sexual Assault Section 213.10 – Affirmative Defense of Explicit Prior Permission.

If your group would like to get personalized assistance with your Consent Policy & Procedures and dealing with reports of consent violations, please contact NCSF's Incident Reporting & Response.

If you're an individual who is dealing with a consent violation, you can also contact NCSF's Incident Reporting & Response to get referrals for KAP professionals and resources to assist you.

By Erez Stoller

My name is Erez, and this is my story about ethical non-monogamy (ENM), also known as Polyamory. Like most people, I was raised with the notion that monogamy is the only way to love. One man, one woman. However, as a kid, I read a lot of science fiction, especially stories by famed author Robert A. Heinlein. Much of Heinlein’s literature included elements of “free love”, which were popular before him, but particularly common in the 1960s with the advent of Hippie culture. As a child, I was strongly influenced by Heinlein’s notions of sharing love, open-relationships and loving without restrictions or jealousy. Over the years, I developed a strong belief in non-monogamy as a value, but living in a monogamous society, most of my relationships were monogamous. When I met the girl who would be my future-wife, and later-on in our marriage, we often discussed these topics and seemed to agree that jealousy was a ridiculous notion and that we, as a couple, have no reason to be jealous. However, we lived as a married couple for many years and never had much opportunity to engage in any extra-marital activity (neither romantic nor sexual). We also had a child, a beautiful baby boy.

A few years ago, I discovered that my area had a large community of open-minded individuals. I found the people in that community to be wonderful and amazing in so many ways, and they have become a big part of my life. As it turns out, the majority of the community practice ethical non-monogamy (although not all, and it is not the main focus). My open-mindedness and adventurous spirit drew a lot of attention in the community, which caused my wife a great deal of anxiety, stress and anger. As it turned out, despite having presented herself as accepting of open-relationships and non-monogamy, she was, in fact, highly monogamous. People’s interest in me caused her a great deal of jealousy, and she developed a crippling fear that I would leave her for someone else. I had no intention of doing so, and elected to not pursue any romantic relationship with anyone else, but she was unable to let go of her fear and anxiety, and became more and more angry. I was also unwilling to give up on the community and felt that being forced to choose between my friends and my wife was an unreasonable situation, and so we tried going to couple’s therapy for many months. As time went by, our fighting intensified until I couldn’t take it anymore, and I gave up and ended our marriage.

Thank you to TASHRA for donating $1,192, raised by a collaborative event between The Alternative Sexualities Health Research Alliance (TASHRA) and NCSF entitled “From the Playroom to the Courtroom: BDSM, Consent, and the Law.” by Russell J. Stambaugh, PhD, and Susan Wright. The first two-hour workshop focused on the latest developments in the civil and criminal justice systems as it relates to people involved in kink/BDSM, while consent issues were the focus of the second workshop on June 26 & 27, 2021. For more information about TASHRA’s professional continuing education workshops, go to: www.TASHRA.org

NCSF participated in Consent Fest by the Consent Academy on June 18th by providing a report on the new Model Penal Code on Sexual Assault and how to get explicit prior permission to do BDSM.

NCSF is sponsoring the ASN Lifestyle Magazine Awards Show. The ASN weekend takes place from September 16-19 at the Top Secret Resort of Orlando – Orlando, FL, and the Awards Show will be live streamed for a virtual audience.