My first musical event of 2023 was a family recital for my youngest grandson. Seth loves music, has a great ear and enjoys practicing (most of the time). I decided the winter break gave him time to prepare and he agreed. Each day I would do the countdown to keep him aware of how much time was left. At two days before the recital, HE told ME how many days were left. 

Family members were arriving from out of town (not just for the recital, but he was told that). I wanted to have him look forward to the event without stress. I planned a family dinner starting with a pizza buffet and salad bar. The recital which included some pieces provided by the cousins, would follow dinner. And dessert would follow the music. This was bound to be fun, entertaining and something we would all remember.

The morning of the recital I started our practice session with, “Today’s the day!” Mouth, open in shock, he gasped, “TODAY!?” I reminded him that we’d been doing our countdown. Yesterday was one day left. I saw the look of panic , or perhaps injustice,  burst upon his face. I gave him a pep talk and explained how his family was looking forward to hearing him play. He told me he didn’t want to practice on his performance day. He was saving it all for the performance. Nothing I said could convince him to change his mind. Terry suggested cancelling the recital, which I said could not happen. My final decision was that we would go with his offer. Come what may.

Dinner was delicious. The recital was at times amazing, stressful, encouraging due to applause and oohs and ahs, tearful and full of hugs. The family shared with Seth aspects of the pieces they enjoyed, the best musical moments and Seth’s father finished it off, saying, “My favorite part was when you argued with your teacher.” I’m sure there’s a positive side to using your words and being assertive. Dessert was Tuxedo cake from Costco. It was the perfect encore.

The next day I thought he and I could recap what happened. Seth told me he’s looking forward to his next performance. There’s no food planned, but he heard there are prizes if you earn enough points. And for my sake he would play his pieces the day of the performance. 

Tips from Mark Morley-Fletcher video…

 - Breathe – I have seen my son step in when he hears the boys stressing over something. He comes into the room carrying a glass of water. He tells them to take a drink. THEN he asks them if they need any help. He explains to them that you can’t drink water without pausing and breathing. I try to keep a glass of water at the piano when I practice now.

 - Reframe nerves with excitement. They feel the same.

 - Think about what the audience wants. To see someone enjoy making music.

 - Know they want the best for you.

 - They are not paying as close attention as you are.

 - Replace your worries with a different thought. “This will be fine.”