Shifting the Narrative

I am a storyteller. Oftentimes that means those close to me have heard the same stories multiple times. I sometimes realize that as I’m sharing, but it’s my favorite way to connect so I keep going, adding a new detail or element to my story that I haven’t shared before. As a proud introvert, I am uncomfortable with small talk. I want to hear about your life and tell you about mine, and I don’t want to talk about the weather or the news or a sports score. I want to understand what makes you tick, and what better way to do that than to swap stories. A couple of years ago I got the opportunity to share some of my stories on the Texas Public Radio stage. I was so nervous for weeks leading to this event. I didn’t tell anyone when I was doing it because I didn’t want anyone to show up and see me bomb! But as soon as I stepped in front of the mic, my nervousness turned to excitement, and adrenaline took over. When I walked off the stage I felt connected to everyone in that room- like I had given them a little piece of me. I am proud to share this with you all today, and if you’ve already seen this video, watch again because it’s Worth Repeating

Therapy Thoughts

This month has been one of reflection about the role of fathers in my life. My relationship with fatherhood has been a complicated one.

First, as an adoptee, I often dreamed about my biological father- a man who died never knowing that I had been conceived. As a child, I pictured my father as a strong Black paternal figure who had a deep connection to Black culture and maybe even fought for civil rights. I would watch The Cosby Show and imagine my life in a family like theirs with Black art on the wall and the echoing of Black music throughout the house. What I have learned is that while my dad was charismatic and full of life, he had his flaws and was not the ideal television dad. This year i chose not to post about him on social media as I reckon with my feelings about that.

My relationship with my adoptive dad is very complicated, I spent this Father's Day giving myself permission to acknowledge the boundaries I have set for myself while also allowing myself to appreciate his positive influence on who I am as a parent and as a lifelong learner.

Abby’s Affirmations

"Be the hero in your story."

What I have learned from fantasizing about the perfect family that existed in an alternate universe sans adoption, is that there is no perfect family. I learned that waiting for the "hero" parents to fly in and claim me, affirm me, save me- was not reality. Instead, I learned to be my own hero by doing my work. I learned to give myself grace and affirm my own existence, to find purpose, and to follow my passions. While I look to others to be in community with, do life with, I do not look to them to heal me.

What does it mean to you to be your own hero? I'd love to hear your thoughts.

"I'm Getting Sentimental Over You"

I recently made one deliberate purchase on Record Store Day 2025. It was not on the release list, but when I walked past it, clutching the Billie Eilish/Charlie XCX release that I was sent to secure for my daughter, something pulled me to it. I remember my husband saying, "I didn't even know that you liked jazz." Which threw me for a second because jazz and house music were the soundtrack of my undergraduate days- but that was long before we met. The album was Thelonious Monk, Live At The It Club, 1964. The song I am sharing with you is from this album and is called, "I'm getting Sentimental Over You". It is a song that brings me joy. Its upbeat spirit makes me think about my biological father's smile, that I have only seen in pictures. It is a musical representation of how I picture him around the time of my conception: a lady's man who oozed charm and charisma and who approached life with a carefree, whimsical attitude. Enjoy.