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Negotiation Strategies
December 2018
Advancing Negotiations that Appear to be Stalled
Dear Clients and Friends,

An inexperienced negotiator, when faced with bumps, twists and turns in the journey of any negotiation, will often lose heart and give up. It is the experienced and skilled negotiator who will recognize these bumps in the road as part of the protean nature of negotiation and will persevere with patience and persistence until a successful outcome has been reached. 

In this December '18 edition of Negotiation Strategies, I share a negotiation story of how such patience and perseverance paid off. My intent is to encourage other negotiators to persevere even in the face of seemingly intractable obstacles if that negotiation is important! From experience I have come to believe that very few negotiations are fatalistically doomed!

For your reading convenience, this column is also summarized in the Lessons Learned bullet points at the bottom of the page.

With Warm Season's Greetings,

Raphael Lapin
Advancing Negotiations that Appear to be Stalled
Introduction
The British diplomat, Harold Nicolson (1886-1968) begins his diary of the 1919 Paris Conference which ended World War I with the following words: “Of all branches of human endeavor, diplomacy is the most protean”. This protean quality is true of negotiation also, which lies at the core of effective diplomacy.

Although negotiation can be simply defined as the process of seeking joint solutions to conflicting needs , the path to get there is often circuitous, bumpy and even treacherous with many twists and turns along the way. An inexperienced negotiator will often lose heart at these challenging moments and give up. The experienced and skilled negotiator will recognize these bumps in the road as part of the protean nature of negotiation and will persevere until a successful outcome has been reached.
(For a paradigm example of this sort of tenacity, read “To End a War” by Richard Holbrooke – an account of the 21 day negotiations that eventually lead to the Dayton Agreement and the end of the Balkans war).

In this column I share a story where we successfully broke through what appeared to be a stalled negotiation and how we did it. I hope this inspires other negotiators not to be discouraged by apparent obstacles, but rather to persevere with patience and persistence. 
The Stalled Negotiation
I was contacted by a potential buyer who asked me to assist him in negotiating the purchase of a ranch. It was a beautiful piece of land with an enchanting creek running through it. This creek was, in the words of my client, described as “a child’s water wonderland!” It was owned by an older woman who had put it on the market for sale and the potential buyer wanted it badly. 

He had put in several offers, progressively increasing the purchase price with each. The seller was resisting any offer the buyer was proposing despite displaying a clear intent to sell. The buyer was left confused and concluded that the seller was greedy, unreasonable and unrealistic. He assumed her motivations to be entirely money driven. The negotiations were at an impasse and appeared to be catastrophically stalled. The buyer faced with this, was at his wits end and about to walk away from this deal, feeling very disappointed not to be able to own the land of his dreams.

A common acquaintance referred him to us to try to salvage the deal.
The Negotiation Breakthrough
One of the important lessons that experience has taught me is to understand the value of time in negotiations. Time has the capacity to nurture; to cultivate; to build; to heal; to settle; to calm; to restore and to revive. I knew that if these negotiations were to be salvaged, I could not allow the parties to walk away. I needed to keep them engaged in negotiation, no matter how little substantive gains may be achieved, while time was working its magic. The doors of communication had to remain open no matter how insignificant the communication might be, even just to meet periodically to see if any new ideas were generated or minds perhaps altered. 

Even though to the novice it appears that nothing is advancing, the experienced negotiator realizes that time alone is having a meaningful, albeit subtle and imperceptible effect.

According to Lawrence Wright in his book "Thirteen days in September", President Carter understood this well when he coerced President Anwar Sadat of Egypt and Prime Minister Menachem Begin of Israel to remain at the negotiating table even when agreement seemed impossible at the Camp David accords negotiations.

This period of allowing time to transpire without any tangible or obvious results, can be particularly frustrating. Parties may feel that any effort expended is futile. Often, the only thing keeping them minimally engaged is the fear and realization that the alternative is too risky and uncertain. (As a mediator or negotiator it is sometimes useful to highlight those risks and uncertainties by using the Cartesian questions ).

However, even though there is no apparent advance in the negotiations during this period, there is a lot that is occurring. Ideas are percolating, trust incrementally improving, small but useful concessions in information-sharing taking place and alternatives to an agreement being seriously evaluated and tested.

The reward for the patience and perseverance in the real estate negotiation above, was that with time the seller revealed what her true reservations and concerns were. They were not about money at all, but rather a deep attachment to the property tied to many rich childhood memories that she was loathe to abandon. This nugget of information turned out to be the golden key with which to unlock the stalled negotiations. It was the negotiation breakthrough we were waiting for!
Resolution
Once we understood this, we were able to propose an acceptable deal in which the seller would have the option to rescind for twelve months (We were quite confident that she wouldn't, but such an understanding would allow for a more palatable transition if only psychologically!). We also included a first right of refusal agreement for her and her family should the buyer ever decide to sell. He also offered that she was welcome at any time, to bring her children and grandchildren to the property to show them where she grew up.

With a deeper understanding, useful information generated with time and these low cost concessions, the buyer was able to close a successful deal at a very fair price.

When you find yourself engaged in a long and arduous negotiation and are tempted to throw in the towel, remember that time, patience, persistence and perseverance, with a sprinkle of creativity, are your trusted friends. Keep the channels of communication open and allow time to do its work!
Lessons Learned
  • Don't be discouraged if the other party walks out of the negotiation - in most cases, agreement is reached eventually with some skill and process.
  • No matter how tough or impossible a negotiation seems, always work to keep channels of communication open.
  • Do not shut the door on a negotiation, if that negotiation is important to you.
  • If a party’s position is not making sense, it usually means that there is more information that you need to uncover.
  • Understand the value of time and patience in a negotiation and realize that although it seems futile, there is useful development taking place.
  • Sometimes when a negotiation appears to be stalled - time, patience, perseverance and creativity are all that is needed to advance and unlock those negotiations.
Lapin Negotiation Services offers training, consulting, advising and executive coaching in negotiation, business diplomacy and dispute resolution services.

Our proprietary and aggressively results oriented services are designed to help your leadership, teams and individuals master the essential negotiation, relationship-building and conflict management skills that increase revenues, decrease the high cost of conflict and build strong working relationships.
Learn more about Raphael Lapin's book, "Working with Difficult People" by clicking on the image above
Our Skilled Specialists will:
  • Help your organization build a highly effective negotiation competency and culture which translates into increased revenue and strong business relationships.
  • Train and prepare your sales teams using our propriety "Investigative Selling" approach.
  • Provide advice, strategy, guidance and representation in live negotiation challenges
  • Facilitate, mediate and advise in dispute resolution.
  • Create a culture of collaboration by guiding, facilitating and training teams and divisions to engage in dialogue, to negotiate and to partner.
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