I have been immersed in the teachings and writings of Brene´ Brown lately and have had one aha moment after another, some refreshing, some disturbing but all enlightening. One of the most stomach punching topics is the relationship with scarcity that permeates our lives, relationships and culture. Let's lay the ground work for the discussion. It will sound familiar. We have created a reality that says we should have an inexhaustible pool of internal resources of time, energy and capability that can be tapped into for more and more success, improvement, excellence and a shot at god-dom. In short, we have created a perfectionism trap that we hold ourselves and others accountable to that we can never live up to because it is not a reality that could ever be. Perfectionism ensures that. It is the yardstick that we measure worth and what we beat ourselves with when we fall short.
"Before we even sit up in the bed, before our feet touch the floor, we are already inadequate, already behind, already lacking something. And by the time we go to bed at night our minds are racing with a litany of what we did not get, or did not get done that day. We go to sleep burdened by those thoughts and wake up in the reverie of lack...What begins as a simple expression of the hurried life, or even the challenged life, grows into the great justification of an unfulfilled life."
~ Brene´ Brown
This punched a hole right into the joy and accomplishment I thought I got from checking off items on my list. The reality? It is a never ending list that had the potential of ruining my day it I was not successful in completing it. The boxes without checks were reminders that I fell short of excellence. The crazy thing is that I moved them to the next day already making my tomorrow anxious and in some cases...making someone else's day anxious.
Scarcity makes your heart constrict and fear becomes the driver affecting your thoughts, actions and relationships. How do you counteract scarcity (never enough)? By choosing the perspective of sufficiency. Sufficiency is not an amount, it is a perspective that there is enough and that we are enough. It is letting go of the need to be a demigod. It is letting go of the perfectionism that brings on the flood of 'if I get more of this, I will be this and therefore I can do that'. Its stepping back so that you can see what's good and can find the nugget of gratitude so that your field of possibility opens instead of closes. It is saying goodbye to 'Never Never Enough Land'.
When scarcity rears its ugly head (and it will), acknowledge that you are temporarily in this place and invite gratitude in. Creating a practice of gratitude nudges out scarcity. Speak it out loud. Let it sink in and say, "in this moment, I am enough. I am imperfect and I am enough."
"If we can't stand up to the never good enough and who do you think you are? We can't move forward."
~Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection