Oh Brother….
He ain’t heavy, he’s my brother…..
Brother from another Mother…..
Everybody and their brother…..
Brother-in-law…..
Stepbrother…..
I’ve struggled this year to come up with what to write about Marc as we honor and remember him on the day he was redeployed to Heaven. I set aside time to write yesterday to no avail. After writing 16 times for Aug 2nd and sixteen times for his Birthday it’s getting harder to think of new things that I haven’t shared about Marc.
I started reading some of the last emails we shared, and listening to songs and just thinking about him. It really is crazy to think that it has been 16 years???? He would have had 21 years in the Navy if he would have stayed in, he could be retiring like so many of his teammates.
Oh how I wish I could have one more day with him. I would hug him and remind him over and over how much I love him. I would tell him that I was so proud of him, that he definitely lived up to the meaning of his name “Mighty Warrior.” I would promise to trust God, be strong and that it wouldn’t be long before we were together again. I would commit to live my life honoring Marc, all of our fallen warriors and supporting his brothers.
When I went to bed last night I was disappointed with myself that I couldn’t find the passion or creativity to write something to honor Marc. This has been a tradition for 16 years, this is part of how I process the loss. It’s part of my NEVER FORGET…………
As I went for my walk this morning I prayed for God to plant an idea for me and still nothing. The day started as it usually does, filled with meetings, phone calls, emails and work. One of the emails was to finish up recording for a podcast that had been cut short several months ago mid stream. It was just me, recording the audio, of me answering several questions. One which was what did the “Brotherhood” mean to Marc and what did it mean to me?
That was easy, Marc tried to explain the brotherhood to me before he was killed. He had called me from Iraq and he was talking about some of his teammates and the unique bond they had, the “Brotherhood.”
I replied “ I get it you have trained hard with these guys, you’ve gone to combat with these guys, but as close as your brother you grew up with for 28 years???? Really?” To which he replied “Yes Mom that close.” With a chuckle I replied, let me remind you I didn’t birth them so they really can’t be your brothers.
The week after Marc died we had five of them in our home and the light bulb in my mind went on. The reality struck me hard as I saw that they loved Marc just as much as we did and that they were hurting as much as we were. Now I saw exactly what he was trying to tell me. These were his Brothers and there was something so unique about the “Brotherhood.” This was when they started calling me MommaLee. Because of that relationship they had with Marc I had adopted or inherited a bunch of boys.
After I finished recording the podcast I decided to call them and let them know that I loved them and that I cherished the gift that they were to me and how much they meant to Marc. I shared with them about the conversation I had with Marc and how he tried to describe to me what I know now personally. The unique bond of the Brotherhood. After several conversations with many of the “boys” I realized this is what I needed to write about, “The Brotherhood” which included their amazing wives and children.
I would never have known this gift without the sacrifice Marc made. Marc stood in the direct line of fire three different times to save his teammates, his brothers. He didn’t weigh the pros and cons, he just knew that it was the right thing to do because he loved them. He gave his life so they could live full lives. The freedoms Marc, his teammates and every other veteran fought for allow us to live, live life to the fullest.
Without the pain of losing Marc I would never have known his brothers. Without the pain of losing Marc I wouldn’t have the passion to support our troops, veterans and Gold Star families. I wouldn’t have had the passion and purpose to start America’s Mighty Warriors.
We often hear the saying embrace the suck, well I chose to embrace the pain. You can’t avoid it, you have to embrace it and go right through the middle to get to the healthier side of healing. Marc didn’t run from the fire, he didn’t hide from the danger, he ran through the fire, and straight into the arms of Jesus.
Whatever you are going through, embrace the pain. Whether it is the pain of death, of sickness, of finances, broken relationships, embrace where you are, and push through the pain to the healthier side, but don’t do it alone, make sure you have people who love and support you, your “Brothers” to walk with you through it.
Marc, my son, my Mighty Warrior, thank you for the gift you gave me in your” brothers.” We celebrate the gift you are to each one of us. We remember your smile, your humor, your big heart, your hugs, your playfulness, your mad soccer skills, your poses with your big arms, your love for God, your family and your “Brothers,” we remember you!!!
Love Forever Mom
