Reflection from Fr. Joseph

With all that has been said about marriage these past weeks, it’s understandable if someone wonders how it is possible to live up to such an exalted view of matrimony, especially if their marriage has been challenging over the years. What I have laid out is the ideal, but life is often messy and we all fail to live up to the ideal. None of us have a perfect marriage. So how can we best live a holy, sanctifying marriage that is also a joy? Here are some tried-and-true tips for a happy marriage…

Pray together as a couple, and attend Mass weekly. Recent studies have shown that approximately 33% of first marriages end in divorce. But a 1997 Gallup poll showed that for couples who pray together daily, the divorce rate is 1%. One percent! Sadly, that same poll showed that only 11% of couples pray together daily. This means more than just saying grace over the food – it means a concerted time of really seeking the Lord together. Why? Because you can’t stay angry with someone you are praying with. Prayer means sharing the most intimate part of our lives – our relationship with God – with the other person. It invites God to be the healing bond between the couple, no matter how difficult their day or their bitter argument.

Forgive – and seek forgiveness. Remember that a perfect marriage is two imperfect people who refuse to give up! God has not given up on us, even when we sin for the thousandth time; likewise, we must not give up on our spouse no matter the difficulty.

Embrace the Cross – don’t run from it. Every vocation has its ups and downs. It might be the loss of a job, an unexpected illness, financial difficulties, or just the wear-and-tear of everyday life…but embrace these things, offering them up to God, instead of resenting them. God is in the Cross, working through the Cross.

Win their heart, over and over again. I have some friends who have blocked off every Thursday night for “date night”. They get a babysitter every Thursday, and spend three or four hours just with each other. It doesn’t have to be expensive – sometimes it is a walk through a park; sometimes a movie and popcorn on the couch. During dating and courtship, the couple is constantly trying to win each other’s heart through gifts, time spent together, long conversations. Sometimes when a couple gets married, this desire to win the other’s heart is overwhelmed with the hustle and bustle of everyday life. But keep pursuing the heart of your Beloved! 

Be open to life! Two recent studies (Wilson, 2005 and Rhomberg and Weissenbach, 2013) showed that the divorce rate was a mere 3% among couples who were open to life and used Natural Family Planning instead of birth control. To live out God’s plan for a marriage open to life opens the way to communication, generosity, trust in God…and He blesses it with His grace.

Decide to stay faithful, no matter what. A couple should be committed to working it out, no matter what, no matter how difficult it will be. Stay faithful, trusting that all things are possible for God! 

For those who are discerning God’s call to marriage, too, there are ways we can improve our chances at a happy, holy marriage before even starting out on the journey:

Pray for your future spouse. Your future spouse is alive right now. He or she probably had breakfast this morning. Are you praying for him/her? God knows who it is – and He will give them abundant grace if you prepare to meet them by praying for them!

Seek Jesus first. The best piece of dating advice I ever heard was from a priest who said, “Start running after Jesus. Once you’ve been running after Jesus for a while, look around and see who’s running with you. Those are the people you should date.” If you want to have a holy marriage, it begins by being a holy person yourself. When we seek to imitate Christ’s virtues, we will have a huge head start on being a good husband or wife. A patient, sacrificial, humble, prayerful man or woman makes a much better spouse than one who has no virtue. 

Do not live together until married. One would think that living together before marriage would be a good way to “try it out”, right? But almost a dozen studies from the 1970s to the early 2000s found that couples who lived together before they tied the knot have a 33% higher divorce rate than those who waited. And logic bears this out – cohabitation has the mentality that “if it doesn’t work out, I’m free to leave”. That mentality is hard to shake once the vows have been exchanged. If nothing external has changed about the relationship (still share the same bed and board), then it’s difficult to make the mental shift that something fundamental has changed.

Finally, a word to our dear parishioners who have suffered the pain of divorce – please know that the Lord loves you and there is an important place for you in the Church. Consider pursuing an annulment if you think your marriage might have been invalid – I am more than happy to work with you on that (more on annulments in a future article!!). But do not doubt the Lord’s love for you – and the love that the Church has for you, as Her beloved sons and daughters. Do not look back with regret on what “might have been,” but look forward with hope, knowing that there are many types of love open to you, even after the pain of divorce.

As one who is not married, I am filled with awe when I consider the immense joy and responsibility that God has allowed married couples to participate in. To create new life! To mirror the Trinity! To be a living icon of God’s love for His people! To provide such a sure pathway to sanctity! This month, so often dedicated to romance, may all the marriages in our parish and our culture be strengthened, that they may truly become the “Domestic Church” where saints are made!

It is with great joy that we invite you to participate in the many celebrations and activities planned throughout this coming year to celebrate our Parish 50th Anniversary. Please see the Schedule of planned events in our website. https://www.stjuderc.org/50-years.html

One In Christ – The 2023 Bishop’s Appeal

Your gifts at work

Future priests of the Diocese of Bridgeport receive comprehensive formation in theology, pastoral ministry, personal growth, and, most importantly, the spiritual life at seminaries chosen by the Bishop to best suit the needs of the seminarian and of the diocese. Preparation for the Priesthood takes anywhere from six to eight years, depending on the age and educational background of the man when he enters. All of our seminarians receive graduate degrees in theology prior to their ordination.  Through your generous gift to the Bishop's Appeal, the Diocese will be better able to support men who are discerning priesthood and may respond generously and courageously to that call. 

Thank you for your gift.

To make a gift, or for more information, please visit us at 2023BishopsAppeal.org, call (203) 416-1470 or scan with your phone.

Annual Bishop's Appeal Brochure and Home QR

Parish News

Ignatian Parish Pilgrimage

Please join us for the first phase of the Ignatian Parish Pilgrimage we are co-sponsoring with St. Stephen’s. It begins on Saturday morning, March 4^th at 10:30 in the Social Hall at St. Jude Church. It will be the first of four lectures led by Fr. John Murray, a Jesuit priest with the Murphy Center for Ignatian Spirituality at Fairfield University. A lecture is scheduled each Saturday morning during March.  Bring a friend. The Pilgrimage is an important part our Lenten journey for deepening our relationship with Christ, improving our relationship with each other, and helping us grow in personal holiness. Please see our parish website for more details.

Exodus 40 Lenten Challenge

All parishioners are invited to go deeper this Lent with Exodus 40! Based off the popular Exodus 90 program of fasting, prayer, and almsgiving, this program invites parishioners to take commitments of prayer and sacrifice together - supporting one another through weekly Zoom check-ins and a weekly Rosary. Sign-ups will take place after all Masses the weekend of Feb 18-19 and 25-26 or sign up here. Here are the commitments, meant to spur a deeper love for Jesus Christ and our neighbor (see attached file)

Final Heart-to-Heart Adoration!

Start Lent off right with a night of encounter with our Eucharistic Lord! Our final Heart-to-Heart Family Adoration Night comes to St. Jude on February 25, with a talk from Fr. John Mary CFR, Confessions, Prayer Teams, and beautiful worship music. Free childcare! All are welcome!

Notes From the Music Ministry

Music and Lent

Having begun this Ash Wednesday and lasting through Good Friday, you will find at the ends of each pew pieces of cardstock. On that sheet is the Mass Setting, otherwise known as the Mass Ordinaries, that we will be using during Lent. During this more penitent liturgical season, we will sing the Kyrie and of course replace the Alleluia with an acclamation. We will also change the Holy, Holy (the Sanctus) to the familiar Latin Chant that should bring back some memories. All the music you need is right before you. Please participate - you will catch on quickly. 

Additionally, the music during the Lenten Season is also noticeably different. There will not be prelude or postlude music before or after Mass. This is to encourage quiet prayer before the Blessed Sacrament present in the Tabernacle. Musical interludes are omiited as well, and hymns are frequently set in a minor key, typically less pleasent to the ear. Liturgically, Lent is not "business as usual", just like our personal approach to fasting, prayer, and almsgiving. We have to enter the fallow desert with Christ in anticipation of a joyous Easter. 

Adult, Children's Choir, and Contemporary Choir

Now is a great time to consider stepping up and joining our group of volunteers in our Music Ministry. Please see me if you would like to participate in either any of our musical groups. 

St. Stephen Bereavement Support Group

Have you suffered the loss of a special person in your life? Our Bereavement Ministry can offer you hope of coping with your grief. It is open to anyone you may know who needs help. The 10-week course with a guided workbook provided will begin on Tuesday, March 21st from 4:00-5:30pm. Registration is required. Please call the rectory at 203-268-6217. A call will be returned to you by one of the bereavement facilitators. 

Food Pantry Update



Now that we have collectively begun our Lenten journey with the three pillars of Lent (prayer, fasting and almsgiving) in mind we ask that you consider a donation to our pantry. Preparations are underway for our Easter distribution with the items in greatest need at this time being: rice side dishes (Rice-A-Roni), canned soup, jarred pasta sauce, pasta and as always boxed children’s cereal. Please continue to monitor this newsletter for updates as we draw closer to our Easter distribution for assistance with perishable items. Thank you again for your continued support of our ministry!

Floral Ministry Update

As we enter the Lenten Season, this coming Wednesday, Ash Wednesday, you will notice the arrangement at the center of the altar has several pieces that are symbolic of what the season should represent for all of us. Each symbol is designed to direct us to action during the Season of Lent.  The Praying Hands encourage us to turn more fervently to Prayer. The empty water jug and purple cloth are spurring reflection on the importance of Sacrifice and Almsgiving. The Crown of thorns, uniquely made in Israel from the stems of the Euphorbia Milli plant, grown near Jerusalem, is reminding us of the ultimate Sacrifice of Jesus shedding his blood for all of us.

As we gaze on this altar centerpiece, may we be able to point our minds and hearts to Christ’s suffering for us during the Season of Lent.

ST. JOSEPH PARISH

       Shelton, CT

LENTEN FISH FRY

MARCH 3^RD • 10^TH • 17^TH 5-8 pm

Clam Chowder, Fried Fish, Baked Fish,

Cole Slaw, Raffles and Much More…

50 Fairmont Place • Shelton

Parish Hall (Lower Church)

203-924-8611

www.SJCshelton.org

Bring home Saint Jude's traveling statue of the Holy Family. Materials will be included to do a 7-day preparation for Consecration to the Holy Family. To learn more, visit: https://afc.org/family-consecration/

May God bless you and your family through the intercession of the Holy Family!

Do you have extra egg cartons?

St Jude's Kids Club is seeking donations of empty egg cartons for an April craft. If you have some that you would like to donate, please leave in the entryway next to the food pantry donations and label them "For kids club". Many thanks!

Do you want to have a superabundant marriage?

If so, come join us and meet other young couples and learn 7 Steps to a Superabundant Marriage.

We invite you to join us in a series of talks to enhance your marriage and your spirituality. There is no cost.

First meeting for couples will be an introduction and social night on Saturday, March 25 at 5:30 PM in the St Jude Social Hall. It will be a pizza and wine event!

RSVP: Mike Bonomo phone/text 203-257-3224. Email: [email protected]

Please indicate if childcare needed at the event.

2023

CAMP ADORE

VACATION BIBLE SCHOOL

Summer with the Sacred Heart

June 26-30, 2023 8:30 am to 12:30 pm

for children entering Grades 1-6.

This year's theme is "Summer with the Sacred Heart"

Registration is now OPEN click here. Sign up early to secure a spot!

Email Jessica Iannotta if you are an adult or teen interested in volunteering.

Mom's Group Announcements

Next meeting Thursday 3/23 at 7:30 pm.

Our next monthly mother's Zoom rosary is Wednesday 3/1 at 9 pm and will continue on the first Wednesday of every month e-mail Jessica Iannotta for more information.

Youth Encounter and Kid's Club Reminders

Pizza and Praise this Saturday 2/25 & Next Kid's Club 3/5

Please remember in your daily prayers:

Marge Tranzillo, David Nicolett, Maria Bertone, Marie Micholovich, Vincent Daniello, Dyana vander Wielen, Joe Pinto, Zoey Frigo, Daniel Louis Bianco, Max, Hung Vu, Alfred Zawadski, Dr. John Kezel, Joseph Sheridan, Francisca Testa & family, Catherine Belanger, Stephen Henn, Manny Cambra, Bennett Gulyas, Tom Pleva, James Buturla, Violeta Shala, Vito Melfi, Paul Verespej, Patti F. , Anne DeVita, Anna Harper, Jack Lane, Robert Freeman, Frank Kerekes, Marian Nanchy, Rose C., Joseph T., Rosario Pacheco, Antonia Tedeschi, Richard Smith, Charles Metoyer, Liz Guaglianone, Tip B.

All healthcare workers, first responders, caregivers and the men and women in the military.

If you have anyone that you would like to add to the list, please call the office or email with the name to be added.

Please join us in praying our Monthly Parish Intention.

Our Petition for February is:

We pray for all Missionaries as we unite our prayers to their works asking Christ's grace to penetrate the hearts of those to whom they preach and baptize....

   We pray to the Lord

Upcoming Mass Intentions

Sat    Feb 25        4:00pm                Laura Burns

Sun   Feb 26       7:30am                 Loretta Marie Paul Goldin

Sun   Feb 26        9:30am                 St Jude Parishioners

Sun   Feb 26        11:30am               Brett Southard

Mon  Feb 27        9:00am                 Margaret Baranosky and Cathy Klosky

Tue   Feb 28       9:00am                 Mary Casey

Wed  Mar 1         9:00am                Jack Piccolo

Thu   Mar 2         9:00am                 Thomas Mc Mullen

Sat    Mar 4         8:30am                 St Jude Parishioners

Sat    Mar 4         4:00pm                Laszlo and Ilona Gaal

Sun   Mar 5        7:30am                 Andrew Henn

Sun   Mar 5         9:30am                 Maximino Pires Monteiro

Sun   Mar 5         11:30am               Tina Pechulis

Weekday Masses will be in the main Church at 9 am and live streamed.

The Weekend Masses inside the Church are Saturday at 4:00 pm and Sunday at 7:30, 9:30 and 11:30. Only the Saturday Mass at 4:00 pm and the Sunday 7:30 am and 9:30 Masses are live streamed.

(Live-streamed Masses may be viewed at https://www.stjuderc.org/view-masses.html )

Rosary Making Ministry

The Rosary making ministry is making rosaries for the sick of the parish and anyone who would like one. We have been making hand knotted rosaries for the past year. If you would like to join us, we meet on Wednesdays at 1:30 in the social hall. Please contact Karen Talloni 203-952-3451 or email [email protected]

Men’s Bible Study

All men are invited to join for a discussion-based Bible Study on Saturday mornings at 8am in the School Meeting Room beginning September 17, as we study the Sunday readings. For more information, contact Bob Lux at [email protected].

Mary's Messengers Prayer Group Conveniently in between Wednesday’s Religious Education class sessions from 6-6:30 pm. We will learn to say the Rosary, Divine Mercy Chaplet, and other special prayers for the intentions of our families and Parish.

Flame of Love Rosary

Thursday mornings after 9 am Mass

"Spread the effect of grace of thy Flame of Love over all of humanity"

flameoflove.us

St. Jude Religious Gift Shop is located downstairs in the Msgr. Sabia Social Hall. Fr. Joseph's Books and CD's are available in the Gift Shop. Also new items: Gifts and cards, statues, rosaries and more.

Come in and browse. Call Fran Cambra 203-261-2573 or Parish Office 203-261-6404.

Confession Hours

Confessions on Saturday afternoon will be in the day chapel at 3:00 pm on Saturdays.  We are now offering Confession Weekend every first weekend of the month! Come take advantage of God's great mercy by coming to the Sacrament of Confession, offered before AND after every Mass starting the weekend of February 4/5!

Confessions are also by appointment, please call 203-261-6404, to set up and appointment or emailing.