"Manners are a sensitive awareness to the feelings of others.
If you have that awareness, it doesn't matter what fork you use."


We hope this month finds you well! We have some very exciting news that was announced on the 100th episode of the Awesome Etiquette podcast, so we hope you'll take a listen and join us in the celebration!

We are still enjoying these summer days here in the Northeast. From the fruits and veggies at our farm shares and stands, to going to outdoor concerts and dining al fresco with our friends, there are so many places where we are seeing good etiquette these days. From helping hands to respecting rules and keeping the political chat civil, it seems like the world is just a little bit brighter and nicer as everyone appreciates the last days of summer.

Where are you seeing good etiquette in your life? Is it in the form of an unexpected handwritten note or a thank-you gift? Maybe it's in the simplicity of a door held or an appropriate "excuse me" being extended your way? Sometimes it comes in the form of waitstaff whose service was impeccable. Whatever it is, we want to hear about it from you! Please reach out to us on Facebook or Twitter, or send us an email to tell us how etiquette is affecting your life.

Keep those questions coming, or if you have any thoughts or comments for us please, write to us at newsletter@emilypost.com. We look forward to hearing from you!
Start Your Rewarding Career In Etiquette
With Emily Post!

Come join the Emily Post family in Burlington, Vermont, this September 19-23 for our bi-annual Train the Trainer program. We'll train you how to teach Emily Post Etiquette, while you enjoy Vermont in all its early autumn splendor along with exceptional food and hospitality.

- Courses specialize in Business or Children's etiquette
- Week long, small class, intensive training program with the Post
- Detailed training manual allows you to understand presentations
   slide by slide and build by build, so that you'll know exactly how to
   teach the material with confidence
- Practice presentations and presentation skills workshop help you
  develop your own style and voice with our materials and get
  comfortable and confident presenting them
- Framed certificate of completion
- Resources given in both print and electronic versions

For further details, questions and forms, please contact our Director of Sales, Steven Puettner, at steven@emilypost.com .
Awesome Etiquette Podcast: Episode #100: Episode 100!

On the centesimal episode, Lizzie and Dan give the definitive answers to some classic etiquette topics - thank you notes, wedding gifts, dining settings and utensils, and dealing with other people's bad etiquette.
Also mentioned:
*    Big news from Dan
*    The AE blooper reel
*    A salute to our amazing listeners

Awesome Etiquette wants to hear from you!
The "Awesome Etiquette" podcast, hosted by Dan and Lizzie is looking to hear from you! So give us a shout. Send in your etiquette questions, awesome etiquette salutes, etiquette confessions, or any suggested topics you'd like to hear about on the podcast to  awesomeetiquette@emilypost.com. You can also post questions to our Facebook or Twitter page using #AwesomeEtiquette, so we know you want your question answered on the show!

And don't forget to subscribe via iTunes - IT'S FREE!

Awesome Etiquette is a part of The Infinite Guest Network from American Public Media.

Business: Should I Tell Applicants They Aren't Getting The Job?

Dear Post Family,

I've been in management positions on and off for ten years. I am currently hiring a new staff and am not sure of a polite and legal way to go about telling an applicant, whom I've interviewed, that I am not offering them the job. I feel it is appropriate to let them know, but I haven't found the right words to do it. I've asked quite a few of my friends and co-workers what they do and all have said that they just blow them off. I don't feel that is appropriate. Do you have any suggestions?

Many thanks,
A Non-Ghoster 

Dear Non-Ghoster,

Thank you for your question. It is one that shows a real dedication to the principles of consideration, respect and honesty on which we base our etiquette advice. Rejection is never fun, whether it's personal or professional, and to give these applicants the respect of letting them know they will not be hired is excellent etiquette. Do check with your legal/HR teams to make sure you are acting within company policy. However, from an etiquette standpoint, letting these applicants know they have not been selected is the right thing to do.

You should be direct but polite, and state that while you enjoyed meeting them and appreciate their applying for the job, you will not be offering them the position. Thank them for their time and wish them success in their job search. You do not need to go into specifics.

In an age when it seems that "ghosting" (not responding to someone) is prevalent, it's always good to be championing for higher standards of respect and consideration. 
For more information on business etiquette, check out Emily Post's The Etiquette Advantage in Business, 3rd Edition or visit www.emilypost.com.
Problems with a coworker?

Business Etiquette E-Learning courses help improve:

- Business relationships
- Etiquette and civility in the workplace
- Business social skills

Etiquette Bites: Face to Face or Over the Phone?

Peter Post discusses when it's best to have a conversation face to face, and when it's ok to use email or the phone.

Check out this Etiquette Bite and more here: Etiquette Bites .

Wedding: Farewell Lunch vs Baby Shower

Bride & Groom Place Cards
Dear Posts,

My son is marrying in October. All of our family is from other states and will be coming in for the wedding, including his sister who is going to have a baby in October. This will be the only time our whole family will be together before the baby is born and I wanted to have a baby shower for my daughter the day after my son gets married, while all the relatives are still in town. My son and his fiancé are very hurt by this because they say it is 'their weekend' and the bride's mother is having a lunch that day. What to do?

- Anonymous

Dear Anonymous,

What a tough choice! It's certainly understandable that you'd want to hold a shower for your daughter when everyone is around. Your intentions are in the right place, however, it's best to consider the bigger picture here. The farewell luncheon has already been scheduled and guests have made arrangements to leave town after it. And while it's wonderful that your daughter is experiencing such an exciting time in her life as well as your son, this weekend is supposed to focus on your son and his bride-to-be.

Throwing a baby shower at the same time (sharing the luncheon so to speak) doesn't appear to be an option for two reasons: 1. Your son has already expressed that he and his fiancé are hurt by this idea. 2. The bride's mother is the host of the luncheon and to step in and suggest that her event be modified to accommodate your other child would be rude to both the couple and the mother of the bride.

If time allows you might consider hosting a baby shower after the luncheon. However, do be understanding if most guests cannot attend because their travel plans conflict. It is also possible that if enough family cannot or does not choose to attend that your daughter will be hurt by the lack of support. Your best bet is to focus on the bride and groom on this particular weekend and allow family to congratulate and spend time with your daughter during the weekend. With lots of well wishes and fun family conversations we're sure your daughter will feel just as loved and supported as her brother does without switching the focus of the weekend. Final answer? Schedule the shower at a time when the focus will be 100% on your daughter.

Read Peggy Post's thoughts on today's most nuanced wedding dilemmas in the archive of her New York Times column.

Read more of Peggy's advice each month in Good Housekeeping.

Lifestyle: Ordering For Your Date  


When I take my significant other out to dinner at a restaurant, I believe it is proper for her to tell me her choice from the menu and for me to order for her when the waiter arrives. She believes I am a controlling, sexist, Neanderthal. Who is correct?

Thank you,
Attempting Chivalry  

Dear Attempting Chivalry,

First, your thought of what's proper does not make you a controlling, sexist, Neanderthal. However, according to the Post Survey, three out of five women do not want men to order a meal for them at a restaurant. So you need to be absolutely sure how the person you are with feels about this issue before going ahead and ordering for her. If this is your first date, a simple, "Would you like to order, or would you prefer that i tell the waiter what you would like?" will let you know hew preference.

Yours is a case where the rule itself matters not at all. What really matters is the confidence and courtesy you show by knowing how the other person wishes to be treated, and treating her accordingly. Remember too that the "how" matters. Telling your significant other that you think it's proper to place her order for her is different from letting her know that you love the opportunity to take care of her in this way. It might soften her to your point of view if she understands that your desire doesn't come from archaic rules but instead from a place of consideration. That being said, if your significant other still would like to place her own order it's very important to respect her wishes.

We hope these suggestions help you feel a little more confident in your daily life!
  For more information on condolence notes, check out Emily Post's Etiquette, 18th Edition or visit www.emilypost.com.  

IDEAS ON PINTEREST | Visit our boards. Get inspired.


Enjoy the last great days of summer with our Picnics and Al Fresco Dining Pinterest board. Don't forget to check out our other Pinterest boards for ideas and inspiration!

Please visit our contact page to reach us, or you can find us on Facebook and Twitter. We love hearing from you, so feel free to post to our social media and join in the conversation. We may not always be able to respond, but we read every question and comment. From our family to yours we hope you have a wonderful month! As always, thank you for your continued interest in etiquette and The Emily Post Institute.      


The Posts