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Cape Cod Elders Make This a Better Place
"We are not a novelty,” Marie Seufert explained following a recent meeting of the LGBTQ+ Social Group at the Yarmouth Senior Center, “We’ve been here all along.” And it’s true. LGBTQ+ elders have—for the most part—aged happily in their home communities on the Cape & Islands, participating in civic life and experiencing little friction over their gender identity or sexuality. We live in a sweet spot on a map that is rapidly turning hostile to queer people. A sweet spot we created through our activism and economic integration. Work that still needs doing.
Increasingly, LGBTQ+ elders are engaging in strategic community building, or perhaps rebuilding, to help ensure ongoing supportive relationships as partners, spouses and longtime friends die, move to care facilities or relocate. Creating strong families of choice is a time-tested means of survival. However, maintaining a vibrant network and making new friends isn’t easy for many older adults. Increasingly Councils on Aging here are trying to help. Most municipal senior centers in our region offer at least occasional LGBTQ+ themed programming, such as an upcoming potluck in Eastham and the intergenerational SageTable in Orleans, and several host ongoing groups. Combing through monthly newsletters and calendars, here’s a listing of the ongoing meet ups we found.
These casual gatherings emphasize openness and inclusion along with the opportunity to make new friends, explore social activities and learn about support services. But when in the midst of personal crisis, many LGBTQ+ people express a preference for closed LGBTQ+ only support groups. “People need to feel free to be weak and to ask to have their needs met or even to just let others know that they have needs, without being judged for the way they live their lives,” Seufert explains. It’s stressful when members of a grief group repeatedly refer to your deceased wife as “your friend” as has happened to at least one Cape lesbian. You don’t want to have to explain your life choices when seeking a way through grief or fear. That’s why the Yarmouth-based group has been organizing a variety of LGBTQ+ only groups, such as the Life Changes groups being hosted by the Bourne Council on Aging and First Parish Brewster this spring.
Whether you are feeling fragile or strong, you can connect with other LGBTQ+ elders in your area and help build a stronger, more inclusive community.
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