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When someone you know is grieving, you might ask yourself— what can I do?
While there’s nothing you can do to take someone’s pain away, you can help support them. Checking in, showing up over the long term, and truly listening are great first steps. If you want to do more, keep these three things in mind:
Be specific and concrete: Making a specific offer reduces the mental load for the person you’re trying to support. When you say “let me know if I can do anything,” you’re making them do the thinking. Instead, offer something concrete so they only have to answer with a simple yes or no. Some ideas could include shopping for groceries, doing household chores, or if they’re a parent, taking kids to school or other activities.
Follow-through: If you do offer to do something, make sure it’s something you can follow through on. This is where it’s important to know yourself and your skill set. If cooking is hard for you, instead of dropping off a meal, consider getting a gift card for food delivery or ask if you can pick up groceries for them.
Don’t take it personally: If your family member or friend declines your offer or doesn’t respond, don’t take it personally. Grief can be exhausting and overwhelming, leaving people too depleted to respond to every text, email, or phone call.
Find additional tips for supporting someone who is grieving here.
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