What inspired you to write a book on women-in-law relationships? 

I understand this pattern, but I believed it was possible for the families on both sides to maintain close relationships that expanded the family in both directions. That was my prayer, and God answered it.

Friends, colleagues, even neighbors have asked me about the positive nature of my relationship with my three daughters-in-law. They have also shared their own experiences, and many of them have been negative. My daughters-in-law have experienced the same curiosity from their friends who have asked, "How do you all do that?" We aren't smarter, luckier or more spiritual than others. What we are is determined to live beyond the stereotypes and just bright enough to know we can't do it without the Lord.

Do you have positive relationships with all of your daughters-in-law? Has it always been that way?

I'm grateful to say that I do. We are not similar in style, personality or experience. We are determined, however, to be family to one another. We've worked at keeping the lines of communication open and dealing with conflict when it occurs. And it will occur - in any relationship.

The holidays are coming soon, which can be an especially difficult time for families when it comes to gatherings and schedules. How has your family adjusted over the years of adding daughters-in-law and their own family obligations?

The first step in making it work is to remember that life is not Burger King - you can't always have it your way. Your married adult children have another family in the mix, they have friends they might want to spend time with, and if they live out of the area, travel budgets may figure in.

The most important tip is to involve everyone in the conversation early. Manage your own expectations because it is not realistic that you can have the entire group assembled every year. We have celebrated Thanksgiving with my DIL's family and invited them to ours. Be flexible! We've taken December 26 through New Year's Day and discovered that the days after the actual holiday provided us a less stressful time together that was every bit as wonderful.

We celebrated early one year on December 18th but kept every single tradition. All the kids stayed at our home the night before, made our special Christmas brunch, lazed around in our pajamas, and opened gifts. It felt so much like the real thing that when I heard the garbage truck, I asked, "Since when does the trash man work on Christmas Day?" We all had a good laugh. Remember the old proverb: Blessed are the flexible for they shall not break.

Should the older woman take the lead in bonding with the younger? How can you do this without coming across as overbearing?

I do think the older woman has a natural opportunity to welcome her son's future wife to the family. It can set a positive tone. Spend some time getting to know the younger woman. What are her interests, her goals, her hobbies? Share the same with her. If you do all the questioning, it can feel like an interview or interrogation. Let her know you are open and desire a very positive relationship with her.

Remember to go slow. Let the relationship take a natural course to develop. Don't rush, don't push. Pray for God's direction and follow it. Let her know you would never try to take her mother's place, and hope she will feel like a valued part of the family.

What is your best advice to young wives about developing a bond with the new moms in their lives?