The Shulman Center 1
    Greetings from The Shulman Center!
              Compulsive Theft, Spending & Hoarding Newsletter  February 2012

In This Issue
Featured Article
Quotes of the Month
Stats of the Month
Person of the Month
Book of the Month
Film of the Month
Here we go....
2012 Events Calendar
Celebrating 20 years  
 of Serving People! 
       1992 - 2012
Quotes of the Month

"You either get busy living or get busy dying."

"Don't go to the hardware store for milk."

"Be the change you want to see in the world."
 
"There's only love and fear and only love is real; all else is an illusion."

"Life is not a dress rehearsal. This is it!"
Stats of the Month 

52% of workers report that co-workers are the most stressful part of their jobs; 42% reported work tasks as most stressful. (2011 Princess Cruises Relaxation Report)
 
61% of Human Resource Managers say that annual performance reviews are an accurate appraisal of employees' work; 39% say they're not. (2011 Globeforce Society for Human Resource Mgmt. survey of 700 human resource managers)
 
The wealthiest 1 percent of persons in the U.S. earn at least $380,000. The majority of this group are doctors. However, the wealthiest 1 percent of persons in the world earn at least $34,000. (2012, USA Today).
Person of the Month 

Former US Rep. Gabrielle Giffords of Arizona who recently retired her congressional seat to focus on her recovery from a gun shot wound to the head just over a year ago. Not only is she a symbol of courage, hope and miracles in respect to her physical recovery but she embodies grace, humor, and peace. 
 
Representative Giffords' few appearances in Congress brought bi-partisanship to a halt and reminded us--even if briefly--of the humanity we need to reclaim and exhibit toward each other if we ever hope to move ourselves and our country forward. 
Book of the Month 

Lifted by Wendy Tolver, Simon & Schuster, 2011
 
A well-written 300-plus page book about a teen girl shoplifter, Lifted is a great read for teens as well as adults. 

From the back cover: "Poppy Browne had never stolen anything in her life before moving to Pleasant Acres and meeting Mary Jane and Whitney. But when she walks out of the mall with her two new friends and her first pair of stolen jeans, she's hooked. 

Before long, Poppy is lifting whenever she gets the urge--it's never about the merchandise, it's always about the thrill. But when her secret gets out, the girls in Poppy's clique turn on one another. As she watches her life collapse around her, Poppy must decide where her loyalties lie... and how far she'll go to protect herself."

A haunting morality tale that will leave you questioning just what it means to be 'good.'
Film of the Month 

"I Am" (2011) written and directed by Tom Shadyac. See www.iamthedoc.com.

Shot in the style of "The Secret," "What The Bleep Do We Know," and "One," this creative, provocative, and illuminating film tells the story of its director--Tom Shadyac--a former successful Hollywood film director who seemed to have it all. Then, several years ago, he had a terrible biking accident which left him with recurring headaches and depression. 

This event and his condition led him to question the essence of his being and his purpose and happiness in life. Along the way, he interviews a number of sages from across the globe on the nature of life and challenges us to examine our own as well. 
Dear :     
 
See our updated websites at: www.theshulmancenter.com and affiliated sites.
 
Mr. Shulman's four books are now available as e-books through www.amazon.com

 

Something for Nothing: Shoplifting Addiction and Recovery

 

Biting The Hand That Feeds: The Employee Theft Epidemic

 

Bought Out and $pent! Recovery from Compulsive $hopping

 

Cluttered Lives, Empty Souls: Stealing, Spending & Hoarding 
 
On The Move and In The News!
 
February 2012--Mr. Shulman is quoted in an article on employee theft in the Memphis Business Journal and other related online business journals. 
 
February 2012--Mr. Shulman will be a guest expert on compulsive shopping/spending on ABC's "Nightline."

February 2012--Mr. Shulman will be a guest expert on shoplifting addiction on Anderson Cooper's weekly daytime talk show.

March 2012--Mr. Shulman will have an article on compulsive theft, spending and hoarding in Addiction Professional Magazine.
 
Be a True Valentine to Others and Ourselves!

The first major holiday of the new year is upon us: Valentines Day. Many are still recovering from broken New Years resolutions and are just confronting the sticker shock from the past holiday season. According to the Retail and Marketing Association (RAMA), nearly 60% of Americans celebrated Valentines Day in some way, spending about $10 billion dollars--making it one of the biggest spending holidays of the year. 

 

While I'll probably buy my wife a card, some flowers and take her out for lunch or dinner (probably lunch!), I want to express my love for her in ways besides gifts and spending, too. Gary Chapman's wonderful book "The Five Love Languages" describes five primary ways we express and receive love: gifts, acts of service,  kind words/appreciation, physical touch, and quality time. 

 

Using Chapman's model, think about some simple, inexpensive creative way(s) to show your love. Gifts are nice, but both men and women report what's really important to feeling love are the other four "gifts."

 

The interesting thing about these "five love languages" is that we often find ourselves expressing love in a way we think our partners want to receive it but, more often, we tend to express it in a way we'd like to receive it. Some who love to receive gifts might assume their partner is really into receiving gifts too, but he or she might really desire quality time or a massage. 

 

So, stop for a moment or two and consider both how you want to express love and also how your partner best receives love. Hopefully, your partner will do the same.

 

For those who don't have a significant other (as well as for some who do) Valentines Day--and all that goes along with it--can provoke feelings of dread. As I often say: holidays can be the best and worst of times. So, whether you're looking forward to Valentines Day or not, there are many ways to show our love (romantic or not) for others without feeling stressed, obligated or inauthentic. 

Another thing many of us never consider is that Valentines Day is yet another opportunity for us to be our own Valentine, too! In what way(s) might we treat or nurture ourselves in a healthy way? Many of us always put ourselves last! Ideally, we shouldn't need a holiday to remind us to be loving to others or ourselves but it is what it is. So, what is one "gift" you can give yourself using the "five love languages" model? Remember: I'm my only life partner--from the moment I'm born to the day I die. 

One "gift" we can give ourselves (or another) is the gift of recovery. Consider getting counseling, attending a self-help group, and/or reading books on addiction/recovery.

 

If you're a shoplifter or shoplifting addict, what better gift could you give yourself than the help you really need. No amount of stolen stuff will fill your void or make life right. If money is an issue for your, think of how much it will cost when you're arrested (again?) and have to pay for a lawyer, costs, fines and therapy then! 

 

If you're stealing from your work/employer, it may seem easy to justify but you can't feel good about yourself and the double-life you're leading. And, as with shoplifting, there's no such thing as something for nothing: your theft will be discovered and you'll be in a world of financial and emotional pain. 
 

If you're an overshopper/overspender or a hoarder, no amount of stuff will make you happy of at peace. If you're going to spend money, why not really invest in yourself? There has to be another way. Take that first step... the rest you don't need to do on your own.

 

Loving and being loved are no hallmark simple endeavors. But this Valentines Day may be your best yet if you can find a way to get real about what love really is and what it really isn't.

 

Walk in peace.
The Shulman Center 2012 Events Calendar 
 
March 5, 2012--Mr. Shulman to present on compulsive theft, spending and hoarding at the Annual Detroit Area Conference on Problem Gambling. See www.nso-mi.org

April 14, 2012--Mr. Shulman to co-organize/co-present at 2nd metro-Detroit forum: "Living Recovery in an Addictive World."

April 19, 2012--Mr. Shulman to present on helping counseling clients with legal issues at the Annual Michigan Social Workers Conference.

June 2012 (prospective)--Mr. Shulman may present on compulsive shoplifting/stealing at the Annual Pretrial Intervention Professionals Conference in New Orleans, LA.

August 2012 (prospective)--Mr. Shulman may present on compulsive theft, spending and hoarding at the Annual Addictions Studies Institute in Columbus, OH.

August 2012 (prospective)--Mr. Shulman may present on compulsive theft, spending and hoarding at the Annual Cape Cod Institute summer conference in Cape Cod, MA.

September 2012 (prospective)--Mr. Shulman may present on compulsive theft, spending and hoarding at the National Conference on Addictive Disorders in Orlando, FL.

September 2012--C.A.S.A. (Cleptomaniacs And Shoplifters Anonymous) metro-Detroit celebrates 20-year anniversary.
Ongoing ...

 

The Baton Rouge, Louisiana court system has a court-ordered, facilitated educational program for retail fraud offenders. The program is based on material from Mr. Shulman's book Something for Nothing: Shoplifting Addiction and Recovery.

 

Mr. Shulman created a 1-hour employee theft online course with 360 Training. Learn why people steal from their jobs, how to deter it, prevent it, and what to do when confronted with it. Enroll at: http://theshulmancenter.360training.com  

 

Mr. Shulman created an online continuing education course on compulsive shopping and spending called Bought Out and $pent! based on his book and Power Point presentation. The course, CEs offered, through The American Psychotherapy Association. at:http://www.americanpsychotherapy.com
START YOUR NEW YEAR with MONEY LIFE-COACHING!

Tom Lietaert of Sacred Odyssey and the Intimacy with Money programs offers individual money coaching as well as various group workshops on money. Check out Tom's websites at www.sacredodyssey.com / www.intimacywithmoney.com
Mr. Shulman's books
available for purchase now!
 

 

 

Something for Nothing: 

Shoplifting Addiction and Recovery (2003) 

See also:

www.somethingfornothingbook.com

 

 

 

 

 

Biting The Hand That Feeds 

Biting The Hand That Feeds:

The Employee Theft Epidemic... New Perspectives, New Solutions (2005) 

See also: 

www.bitingthehandthatfeeds.com

 

 

 

 

Bought Out and Spent

 

Bought Out and $pent! 

Recovery from Compulsive $hopping/$pending (2008) 

See also: 

www.boughtoutandspent.com

 

   

 

 

 

Cluttered Lives, Empty Souls: 

Compulsive Stealing, Spending and Hoarding (2011) 

See also: 

www.clutteredlives.com

 

Contact The Shulman Center:

 

Terrence Daryl Shulman, JD, LMSW, ACSW, CAADC, CPC  

Founder/Director, 

The Shulman Center for Compulsive Theft, Spending & Hoarding

 
P.O. Box 250008 
Franklin, Michigan 48025

 

E-mail: terrenceshulman@theshulmancenter.com

 

Call (248) 358-8508 for free consultation!

Our Web Sites: