Healthy Hits!

We All Need A Sexducation!

April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month

STI Awareness Week: April 9th-15th

Welcome to the Health Promotion and Wellness Office Newsletter. This is a forum designed for the voices of students to be heard. You ask a health-related question and one of your peers will respond with their advice.

Ask a question on the next newsletter topic, Dem Darn Drugs. We want to hear from you!

Ask a question

Ask Sofia!

Q: When my boyfriend and I have sex, it hurts. Is there something wrong with me?


A:

There is absolutely nothing wrong with you! 

  • What you’re experiencing is completely valid and very normal. Everyone deserves to feel pleasure and safety while being intimate with your partner or yourself (whatever that looks like), no matter your gender or sexual orientation. Here are some guiding factors that have worked for me and others that I asked around about, hoping to provide you with the best advice possible. Our bodies are made up of countless complicated systems that unfortunately don’t always function exactly how we want them to. However, this does not mean that there is anything wrong with you; It is simply just a part of being human. Discomfort or pain is your body’s way of letting you know that a specific area needs your attention.
  • Pain and discomfort during sex is very common. I, myself have experienced discomfort during sex from time to time. It is nothing to be ashamed of and the more we talk about our collective experiences, the less power shame and stigma has over us.

Speak with your partner about your pain!

  • Experiencing pain during sex is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. Engaging in sexual activity should always be a communal and pleasurable experience for all parties involved. Remember, people will not know what you want or how to help unless you share that with them. Letting your partner(s) in will allow you to approach this together. Also, penetration isn’t the only way to have sex. There are plenty of sexually creative activities that you can explore with your partner that will fit the desires and comforts of your sexual relationship. Things like mutual masturbation, or reading and/writing erotica together, watching each other flirt with strangers (if both parties are comfortable with this), or sexually creative date nights. Communicating with your partner about this means new, safe forms of intimacy and excitement for a future together with endless sexual possibilities.

Pain during sex is more common than you think!

  • Pain during sex can also be due to vaginal or anal dryness. There are a variety of lubricants you can experiment with to see what works well for you. Vaginal dryness can also be the result of a lack of substantial foreplay. Additionally, alcohol can also play a role in vaginal dryness. 
  • Just like bodies, penises and vaginas come in all different shapes and sizes. The length, girth, and curvature of a penis can affect how sex feels. Sometimes it is a good idea to ease your way into penetration with a finger or a dildo (either vaginally or anally). This will allow for your body to adjust to penis size in an effort to avoid pain during sex. Additionally, a diversity of penises and vaginas are the reason why certain sex positions might feel better than others; This goes for both vaginal and anal penetration. Try a series of different sex positions until you find the ones that work best for your body. Pain during sex could also be because of a tightness of your pelvic floor muscles. The pelvic floor muscles are located in between the tailbone and the pubic bone within the pelvis. When the body is aroused (as it is during sex), these muscles tense up causing them to tighten even more. This can result in pain and/or discomfort during sex. The pelvic floor muscles are also responsible for supporting the bowel and bladder in addition to the uterus and vagina. This explains why sometimes it is difficult to urinate after intercourse; The pelvic floor muscles are still tight. Stretching these muscles before and after sex could prove beneficial (even though stretching everyday is generally a good thing to do). Also, there are more professional treatments that you can pursue, like physical therapy with a pelvic floor expert and/or acupuncture if stretching is not enough.
  • I also have experienced pain and discomfort during sex. With a little help from one of my best friends who has been dealing with tight pelvic floor muscles for most of her life, I was able to slightly alter my routine in order to include exercises that could help to alleviate my sex-related symptoms. My friend knows that I enjoy working out. She said that partaking in strenuous core exercises can cause the pelvic floor muscles to tighten, so I started religiously incorporating stretching exercises prior to and after my workouts. It turned out that my bestie was right! My workout regimen was responsible for the pain I was experiencing during sex. Stretching before and after workouts is a good rule of thumb anyway; however, perhaps stretching before and after sex will also prove to be beneficial.
Pelvic Floor Exercises

Try to be patient!

  • This is not forever. There are plenty of options you have for getting to the bottom of this. Try to take care of yourself and your needs and remember that if you need help there are ways to receive it. Speak with your partner, a friend, a trusted adult, an on-campus resource, or a professional sex therapist.


Q: How do I tell my crush that I like them without ruining our friendship?



A: Oof, this is a difficult one. There is so much anticipation and fear with something as sensitive and delicate as this. The last thing you want is to lose someone who you care about. I think before you move forward, you should decide what you want from your friend. How would you like them to react? If their reaction differs from what you initially desired, how will you approach the future? If they do not return your feelings will you want them to be a part of that future? These are important questions that are worth taking some time to consider. Let me give you an example of why I say this. My ex and I used to be very close; We were together for almost two years. However, there was a point towards the end of our relationship where I realized I was no longer in love with him and that it was unfair to him and to myself to stay with him even though he still loved me. He was devastated after I informed him of my decision…and so was I. The transition from being with someone for almost two years to not seeing them or speaking with them at all was debilitating. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to remain friends after our separation, but I hoped that we could still be a part of each other’s lives in some way, shape, or form. Unfortunately, he did not agree with me. He said that since he was still in love with me, it would be too difficult to be around me; He wanted nothing to do with me. It has been over a year since we broke up and I still haven’t seen him. I share this with you in hopes that you will ruminate with the best and worst case scenarios of this predicament (and more importantly, how they will affect you) before moving forward with a decision. When in doubt, perhaps consider what you would want from this situation if you were on the receiving end. However, at the end of the day we can only do what we think is right. Please know that no matter what decision you make, you are compassionate and brave for taking the time to ruminate on such a delicate and sensitive topic.

Highlights:

Weed Workshop!

Thursday, April 6th from 4:30-6:30pm in Miller 205


Come learn about weed from your peer. There will be snacks and a raffle!



STI Trivia Night!

Thursday, April 13th from 5-7pm in JR Howard 202. Check out our instagram for more info!


Friendly competition, fun, and fantastic prizes! Join with your friends and take your sexducation for a test drive!


There will be prizes!

Music Mix

Check out our Healthy Hits Playlist on Spotify!

Healthy Hits Playlist

Spotlight Tracks:


  • Let's Talk About Sex by Salt-N-Pep
  • Love Myself by Hailey Steinfeld
  • Sextasy by Swae Lee
  • Talk Khalid
  • Go To Town Doja Cat
  • Lovin' On You by Luke Combs
  • Body Talks by The Struts ft. Kesha
  • I Like It Rough by Lady Gaga

Safe Sex Guidelines!

Tips for Safer Sex and Pregnancy Prevention

Is Oral Sex Safe?

What should you do if you've had unprotected sex

Monkeypox Outbreak Highlights Dangers of Failing to Fund STD Clinics - NCSD

As the nation experiences the first cases of monkeypox, underfunded sexual health clinics around the country are being asked to prepare for a possible surge in urgent healthcare needs. 

Read More

STI Awareness

The Best Way To Avoid An STD

Seeing STARS: A stimulating safer sex talk

Don't Fret!

  • There are individual home tests available for purchase or panel home tests available that allow you to screen for multiple different STIs


  • Home tests are available for online purchase and in-store purchase from CVS



  • UTI test kits are also available for online purchase and for in-store purchase.

Sexual Abuse: What it looks like and what comes after

Some content in the section below might be potentially triggering. Please proceed with caution.

April is Sexual Abuse Awareness Month!

If you or someone you know needs help, please don't hesitate to reach out!

It's On Us | To Stop Sexual Assault

The mission of It's On Us is to build the movement to combat campus sexual assault by engaging all students, including young men, and activating the largest student organizing program of its kind in grassroots awareness and prevention education programs. If you or a loved one is in need of extra support at this time, please know that you are not alone.

Read More

Healing vs. Retaliation: Surviving Trauma and Sexual Abuse

Sexual Abuse Can Happen to Anyone

I'm Taking My Body Back

Online Sexual Abuse Can Happen

Intimacy After Trauma

Hypersexuality, Sex Positivity, and Healing

HIV Stigma

Facts about HIV Stigma

HIV stigma is negative attitudes and beliefs about people with HIV. It is the prejudice that comes with labeling an individual as part of a group that is believed to be socially unacceptable.

Read More

Let's End HIV Stigma

HIV-related stigma and discrimination refers to prejudice, negative attitudes, and abuse directed at people living with HIV/AIDS. Stigma and discrimination can have damaging effects on health, and can increase already-existing barriers to care for people living with or affected by HIV.

Read More

CDC | Reducing HIV Stigma

U=U Campaign

U=U applies to people with HIV who achieve and maintain an undetectable viral count (which is the amount of HIV in the blood). This way they can no longer transmit the virus to others.



The U=U Global Movement - US Conference on AIDS 2019

Why is U=U a Win-Win? Global leaders tell you why!

Sex Positivity!

How sex positivity can aid better mental wellness

What IS Sex Positivity?

Recommendations!

Sex Education - watch on Netflix

Big Mouth - watch on Netflix

On Campus Resources 

Office of Spiritual Life
Health Promotion and Wellness Office
Counseling Service

Off Campus Resources

Planned Parenthood
HIV and AIDS Resources
Sexual Assault Resource Center

If you or someone you know needs help, please don't hesitate to reach out!

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