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I could have throttled her
I AM ENORMOUSLY proud of my daughter. Stephanie has been a delight; charming, intelligent, accomplished, kind, thoughtful and all of those things that fathers are supposed to feel about their daughters.
That doesn’t mean, of course, that there weren’t times I would have happily throttled her. This is the story of one of those times.
During her last year of high school, Stephanie announced that she no longer wanted to study civil engineering at U. of T. Instead, she wanted to study aeronautic engineering at Carlton in Ottawa.
No amount of persuading, badgering, pleading was going to change her mind. It was aeronautic engineering at Carlton or getting tattoos and piercings and becoming a barista at Starbucks.
You see, Stephanie had a boyfriend who was going to go to U. of T. also to study engineering. There was no way she was going to allow anyone to think that the reason she was choosing U. of T. was because that’s where the boyfriend was going.
She was so determined to keep up this charade, that she let her mother and me take her to Ottawa for an orientation session.
At that stage, Stephanie’s mother and I hadn’t spoken for several years, so it was going to be a long, long drive. Add to that the fact that it was about 110 degrees outside and the AC in her car wasn’t working. Also, I was a heavy smoker in those days, but wasn’t allowed smoke in the car. And the traffic was horrendous.
I was not happy.
By the time we got to Ottawa, I was exhausted with a blinding headache and a desire – no, a need – for bed. I had booked two rooms at the hotel and, as soon as I got the two of them safely tucked into one room, I went downstairs to park the car which I had left temporarily just outside the hotel.
Twenty minutes later, I arrived at the casino in Lac Leamy on the Quebec side of Ottawa. I do love a flutter in the casino and, as casinos hadn’t reached Toronto at that point, this was too enticing to pass up.
I played for a while then went outside for a cigarette. Just as I was finishing my smoke, a taxi pulled up and a woman got out. Seizing the opportunity to get a taxi so easily, I jumped into the cab and headed back to the hotel.
When I got to the hotel, I just crashed. I was extremely tired and fell asleep on the bed fully dressed.
I was awakened by Stephanie, calling to tell me that she and her mother were having breakfast in the lobby.
“I’ll be there in a few minutes” said I. “Let me just grab a shower”.
“Grr.” I thought. “I left my bag in the car”. And then the events of the previous night came into focus.
I HAD LEFT THE CAR at the casino in Lac Leamy.
I had no choice but to sneak out of the hotel without being seen, hail a cab and get to the casino as quickly as possible.
Every five minutes I got a call demanding that I finish in the bathroom and come down to the lobby for breakfast.
My mood didn’t improve much as the day dragged on. I went to the orientation presentation, I toured the campus, I saw the student dorms. All I wanted to see was somewhere I could have a nap.
And then, on the drive home, as if on cue, Stephanie announced that maybe she should consider going to U. Of T. after all.
She had made her choice based upon her research; nothing to do with the boyfriend.
I could have throttled her.
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It’s more than 10 years now since Stephanie became a civil engineer. I am so proud of her.
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