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Stupid + Stupid = Smart ??
HAVE YOU ever done something stupid then tried to cover it up by doing something even more stupid?
I have and I lived to tell the tale.
I was in a rush. We had somewhere to be, but I had to drop in to see my friend Joey on the way.
My wife and I were fighting (no surprise there) and when I got to Joey’s house, she and my son got out of the car. I leant in to retrieve my daughter who was still in a baby-seat-cum-carrying thing.
As I said: “Don’t close the door. The keys are inside” she slammed the door shut.
We arrived at Joey’s house with an apology. They were in a rush too and were not pleased at all that we were delaying them. And to cap off the situation, they were fighting too.
I called CAA and they sent someone out to help break into our car. They said it would be about half an hour.
I lasted 20 minutes before the situation became too ugly to bear. Joey and Sue were fighting as were my wife and me. And Joey blamed me for destroying their plans and my kids were cranky and their kids were cranky and Sue and my wife were not at all pleased with each other. Grrr.
“I’m going outside for a smoke” I said, really just to escape the chilly atmosphere.
I was a heavy smoker in those days (which is surprising because cigarette smoke now repulses me so badly).
Anyway, I went outside and was thoroughly dismayed to discover that my cigarettes were locked in the car. I checked all the doors – again. All locked. But when I walked around the car, I was able to lean in through the open window on the driver’s side and retrieve my cigarettes and lighter.
In all the drama of the car being locked, nobody thought of checking the window.
AS I LIT my cigarette and took that first delicious puff, I noticed in the distance, the CAA van looking for the address.
And then I did the second stupid thing of the day.
In the interest of self-preservation, I did the only thing I could. I rolled up the window and locked the door.
Come on, you would have done the same.
It worked. The CAA guy “rescued” us, we were able to let Joey and Sue get on with their day and we were able to leave. Yes, I felt stupid, but I didn’t get caught.
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TEN YEARS later, I was in a restaurant with a girlfriend when Joey walked in with his new wife. They joined us for a drink and I told the story I just told you. Did we laugh about it reminiscing like old friends about my confession?
Not at all. Joey was not amused in the slightest and to this day has never really forgiven me.
And that, of course, made the whole thing even funnier for me.
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