I am not stupid.
I went to Harvard.
However, on July 3rd 2007 at around 10:30am I began experiencing a persistent back pain.
I was a mother by noon.
I delivered the baby all by myself in my posh Atlanta apartment before I called 911. The last clear thought that I remember having was "thank God it's a girl". We were taken to Fulton County Hospital in separate ambulances.
I kept thinking about how I just drank through an entire pregnancy and had no business caring for a child, especially one who would probably have special needs.
I kept thinking I cannot possibly keep her.
After I was settled into a hospital room, I had to start figuring out what to tell people.
I decided to tell my sister Alice first. She was at work and I couldn't reach her right away. When she finally called me back, she offered to tell my parents. I was so grateful. She was also very straightforward about giving the baby up. She said "don't do it, just come home."
They brought me the baby who they estimated to be 8 weeks early. The baby was flawless except for her tiny size and underdeveloped ears. No signs of FAS.
I spent the 4th of July in a Hospital bed, listening to fireworks and halfheartedly attempting to breastfeed. Some of my friends passed through for a few minutes, but instead of the usual happiness that comes with a birth, they were just weird and distant.
On the 3rd day my mom arrived from western New York to pick us up.
I left my car, my belongings, my apartment, my job at the IRS and my pet guinea pigs and went back to New York.
I named her Gloria Georgia after "Merry Christmas Mr. Jones" and to a lesser extent "The Day I Let Glory Steer"
Epilogue: I have an IT job in western New York. Gloria is in second grade, she gets exceptional grades especially in math and reading, she is a Girl Scout and a blue belt in Tae Kwon Do.

-Jenny

Nerissa 

1. Anne Lamott on Forward. At the end of this hilarious and wonderful interview, Anne tells the story of her best friend Pammy, who was dying of cancer a year after Anne had her child, Sam. This is the story that inspired me to write "You Don't Have That Kind of Time." 

Anne Lamott and Kelly Corrigan on Forgiveness, Compassion, and Embracing Our Messy Selves

2.  Monte's Annual Cancer Connection Campout: Our wonderful local hero, Monte Belmonte, DJ extraordinaire at WRSI The River, camps out every March to raise money and awareness for the Cancer Connection. This year, some local elementary kids from Berkshire Trail Elementary School built him an igloo to sleep in. Katryna and i are hoping to make it down to sing our song Dave Hayes the Weather Guy on Wednesday or Thursday. He'll be cold. But he's got company. And he knows that this is where he is supposed to be.

3. Parenthood. Katryna likes to point out that I don't watch TV. In fact, it makes me incredibly sad that I don't watch TV. I LOVE good TV. I just haven't had time to watch any in years, and I am cheap, so I don't have cable. But I DO have Netflix, and today I watched the first half of the first episode of the (apparently now) defunct NBC show. I am smitten! All I want to do is get on my treadmill and multitask and watch this show!!!! (Just kidding. I ate lunch while watching. Sitting down at a table. With my laptop on the far side of my plate.)

(But here is a picture of my treadmill desk WHICH I LOVE!!!)

In piano-practice mode. Below, in multitasker mode. Be assured, I walk extremely slowly. Note mug of hot tea.