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“You any good? Cause if y’are, I got a proposition.” It was in fact the loudest whisper I had ever encountered, but it was not until he stepped from out of the shadows that, good golly, Miss Molly, I understood why… I was face-to-face with none other than Rock & Roll Hall of Fame legend Little Richard. And of all things, Little Richard was inviting me to help him hustle a couple of acquaintances in a “friendly” 25-cent-a-point rubber bridge game.
“You won’t be needin’ that silly convention card,” he was saying, “we’ll just play the old standards like 15-17 NT, Stayman, Jacoby and Texas Transfers, weak two’s, negative doubles, and - only if you insist - two-over-one, support doubles, and RKC.” Of course I insisted, though I was somewhat surprised how knowledgeable he seemed about bidding methods.
“The only thing we really need to discuss is our slam double,” Little Richard continued.
“Oh, you mean Lightner? What’s to discuss?”
“No, I don’t mean that silly thing… I mean the Awop-bop-a-loo-mop-a-lop-bam-bom! convention – but I suppose you never heard of it, tournament boy. It’s not yet approved by the ACBL – they told me they had no room for the name on their convention card.” And just as fast as you could say Tutti Frutti, aw Rooty, I learned all about this important innovation, and at 25 cents-a-point you’d better believe it was important. (If you’d like some soft background music to accompany this story, I suggest you click here now and skip the ad.)
So off we went to the Beale Street Tap Room, directly across from The Pig and A. Schwab Dry Goods. After exchanging pleasantries with two heavy set dudes who introduced themselves as “Wee Willie” and “Tiny Tim,” we headed to a private room in the back of the establishment. As we walked, I chuckled to myself that if that Tiny Tim ever tried to tiptoe through the tulips, those tulips would be dead on arrival.
The rules were simple: we would play old fashioned rubber bridge and the partnerships would be permanent, so I would be playing with Little Richard all evening long. I must admit I was more than a little nervous about how this was going to play out.
Midway through the first rubber, I picked up this lovely collection in 2nd seat, all vulnerable: ♠9832 ♥54 ♦J1065 ♣765. Our opponents bid quickly to 6♥, starting with a 2♣ opener by Tiny Tim on my right. I was about to pass the final contract when fortunately I remembered our slam double discussion.
“Double,” I said proudly, not because I had anything to crow about but because I had been instructed to do so with just such a hand - and leave the rest to my esteemed partner. I led the ♦J and declarer Tiny Tim was looking at the following:
Dummy (WW):---♠Q6-----♥K1062---♦743---♣1092
Declarer (TT):----♠AK10-.♥AJ987---♦A------♣KQJ3
TT no doubt observed that all he had to do was cash the ♥A and take the “marked” finesse against my “obvious” trump queen before knocking out the ♣A. When Little Richard produced the ♥Q and quickly cashed the missing ace, there was more than a little muttering and swearing by our opponents, as their very pointed stares came my way.
For some reason “Oh, I just doubled on a hunch” didn’t seem to satisfy them, but I was beginning to appreciate the value of the Awop-bop-a-loo-mop-a-lop-bam-bom! convention. Without the double declarer would have undoubtedly dropped Little Richard’s doubleton queen (“8 ever, 9 never” even works on Beale Street), but with LR’s convention in action, down one was inevitable.
We won the first two rubbers and I must say Little Richard not only knew how to play his cards, but you would have thought that R&B stood for Reverses & Blackwood. But then our worthy opponents began to mount their comeback and the evening took a more serious turn when they bid a vulnerable grand in spades, doubled loudly by my partner. (By now I realized that LR doesn’t do anything pianissimo.)
Yes, this too was the brilliant Awop-bop-a-loo-mop-a-lop-bam-bom! double in action – redoubled resoundingly by Wee Willie. It looked like I was going to have to find the killing lead from this wonderful concoction: ♠65 ♥854 ♦J543 ♣8654. At 25 cents a point, I realized there was over $700 at stake.
As I huddled nervously, I recalled the “12-14 adjunct” to the Awop convention. This was the part that made me believe “no room on the card” wasn’t the only reason the ACBL hadn’t approved this fine piece of bridge wisdom.
“Oh my goodness, it looks like I only have 12 cards” was my required response if – and only if - I believed that I did not hold the likely setting trick. Then, if partner’s double was for real, he would ask me to count again and I would “find” one more card. This time, however, with no tricks in sight, Little Richard announced: “Good Golly, Miss Molly! I’ve got 14 of these little suckers… from the early, early mornin' till the early, early night, sure looks like a misdeal to me,” he shouted in delight. Simultaneously the two of us tossed our hands into the middle of the table, being certain of course that our 26 cards all mixed together nicely.
To say this did not sit especially well with the other two gentlemen would be a major understatement. Their rage grew a tad greater when they compared hands and saw that their 7♠ contract was indeed an absolute laydown. It was about to get downright ugly when Wee Willie reached for his Colt 45. Even though we were in the Beale Street Tap Room, this was not the malt liquor variety -- and the 45 appeared to be pointed my way…
Just then my alarm went off. As I lay in my bed in a cold sweat, I recalled that I was unable to attend the Memphis NABC this year – and just maybe that was a good thing. On the other hand, it would sure have been a thrill to really play bridge with Little Richard sometime, but unfortunately he died about five years ago. May he and the Awop-bop-a-loo-mop-a-lop-bam-bom! convention rest in peace.
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