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Welcome to the Minding What Matters community of learners.  Minding What Matters is the newsletter developed by Dakhari Psychological Services, LLC to deliver information relevant to your mental and behavioral health, education, wellness, family, and community interests.  We are dedicated to becoming a valued first resource for clients and professionals in the health and well-being of our communities. 
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verb   re�new    \ri-ˈn�, -ˈny�\

Dear (Contact First Name),

You've heard the news before. In fact, it's no longer news. It's common knowledge...self-care is important.  It's also common knowledge that self-care is tough. Really tough. Chronic neglect of self-care is a pervasive challenge in today's hurried pace of life.  It is not uncommon to overhear or engage in lighthearted conversation in reference to tackling a task in ones "free-time" - a notion immediately followed by dismissive laughter and add-ons of "yes..at 3AM when I have a moment!"


It hardly seems fair...if self-care is so important why is it also so elusive?  Truly, there are a number of theories ranging from the impact of modern technology, to the social and geographic changes in our support systems, to the ever growing list in demands for our time. Thankfully there are also many resources on self-care.  Self-care assessments, books, blogs, advice from loved ones and even from strangers! There seems to be no shortage of how-to ideas on self-care. I will not add to that list save for one recommendation....compassion.



Should you decide to improve upon your self-care practices, do so with self-compassion.  Allow for the inevitable ups and downs, twists and turns, and feelings of dissatisfaction as well as immeasurable pride.  Together they all compose the journey of change.  


Viewing self-care as a journey and a process rather than a checklist of to-do tasks can encourage a more compassionate approach.  In essence, it is important to monitor your thoughts and encourage yourself with the same compassion, gentleness, and patience that you'd readily use with a loved one.



You deserve self-care delivered with compassion. 

Find your reason.  Gather your team.  Locate your resources.  Do what you need to do to take care of your most valuable asset.  





J. Oni Dakhari, PsyD

Licensed Psychologist

NJ #4481  DE#736

Minding What Matters, Editor-in-Chief

Empowering you through the
of Psychology

Bringing Back
Forgotten Art of
Letter Writing

One idea to help you infuse more compassion into your self-care practice is to write a letter to yourself from the perspective of an imaginary but very close friend.  Be playful.  Remember your childhood. What does this imaginary friend know about you that can encourage you to take good care of yourself. What would this friend write in order to remind you that you are only human, that all people have both strengths and weaknesses?  And if you think this friend would suggest possible changes you should make, how would these suggestions embody feelings of unconditional understanding and compassion? As you write to yourself from the perspective of this imaginary friend, try to infuse your letter with a strong sense of his/her acceptance, kindness, caring, and desire for your health and happiness.


After writing the letter, seal it and put it away for a little while.  Then come back and read it again, really letting the words sink in.  


~ J. Oni Dakhari, PsyD


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In This Issue
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Words of Wisdom

A Word to the Wise

The spot for words of wisdom, pick-me-ups, funny stories, and quotable quotes.



"Self-acceptance is my refusal to be in an adversarial relationship with myself."

~ Nathaniel Branden
"Self-compassion is approaching ourselves, our inner experience with spaciousness, with the quality of allowing which has a quality of gentleness. Instead of our usual tendency to want to get over something, to fix it, to make it go away, the path of compassion is totally different. Compassion allows."
~ Robert Gonzalez


Contact Information

Courtney Baker
Practice Administrator 

J. Oni Dakhari, PsyD                     Sheryl Pipe, PhD                 
Licensed Psychologist                     Licensed Psychologist           Licensed Psychologist
856-796-3392                                   516-652-2467                         856-617-1897
NJ Lic# 4481 DE Lic# 736                NJ Lic # 5376                         NJ Lic# 5435


We trust that you will find the information and resources we have offered to be a benefit.  Please be advised that while Dakhari Psychological Services, LLC works with other professionals to help offer you helpful services that we are not responsible for the content of their services. Please note that all material on this website is provided for your information only and may not be construed as medical, academic, or otherwise personal advise or instruction.  No action or inaction should be taken based solely on the contents of this information.  We urge readers to consult appropriate professionals on any matters relating to their health and well-being.  The information and opinions expressed here are believed to be accurate, based on the best judgement available to the authors, and readers who fail to consult with appropriate health authorities assume the risk of any injuries. In addition, the information and opinions expressed here do not necessarily reflect the views of every contributor to Minding What Matters and we welcome the exchange of different viewpoints.