The Archaeology of Roots
I so wanted to do an upbeat ‘Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays’ note because we all so need this. In fact, I selected several fun photos to use but have just stared at them for weeks now. To focus on a note of cheer in a time when a threshold of suffering seems to be approaching a tipping point for many feels like a certain level of denial that doesn't sit well...not that denial doesn’t give us a bit of needed relief and is useful now and then.
Much of my private contemplative time is focused on the archaeology of root feelings and behavior. Like an archaeologist who carefully digs down layer by layer and dates the remnant of some ancient civilization found, we dig (carefully) for signs of where the capital Self is currently hidden, buried, or stuck, which is often behind (or within) old entrainment patterns based on concepts that are no longer useful.
We piloted a new clinical service based on these ideas called New Shoes, Empowering women to walk (and talk) in their truth. This seems incredibly important since women literally carry the race, all infants are carried within the biorhythms of the mother (even if fertilization was outside the body), and women raise both sons and daughters. The first part of the work is to identify what was implicitly learned in childhood about who we are and what role we were to have in order to fit/survive.
At a future date, we plan to offer something similar to men led by a male iRT clinician.
Many of our volunteer clinicians who went through this intensive identified something like feelings were not allowed. This is tricky since we are Feeling Beings. Currently, some collective Truth seems to be powerfully moving out from under some deep unconsciousness insisting on the right to Be. It looks to me like our collective capital Selves are refusing to sit nicely behind a defense and watch as controlling outdated concepts have their way with us. Our capital Selves carry great harms from our's and our ancestors’ lived experiences so the outrage is intense and significant. And now a volcano has violently erupted sprewing out what was hidden/buried underground and is covering the surface for all to see. The level of cruelty shows just how much Life has been harm.
Whatever is on the surface now has deep roots growing from our unconscious period.
We have used the concepts created from our cultures, families, religions, and experiences to guide us in this incredible journey that built the human race. But now evolution seems to be selecting consciousness over survival principles, which, if true, means we must courageously explore and deeply reflect on this reign of concepts covering the earth that has kept us separated and unequal...but alive. The human body is built, and our media communications are good enough for us to see and hear from others. Former boundaries are disappearing faster than we can keep up making it more difficult to focus on ‘my’ life and 'my family' alone. Parents don't know which parenting approach to use that fits the times their children are in. And seeping grief, trauma, loss, fear, and outrage can’t seem to be contained within a simple ‘not me’ anymore. We are in something big!
It's hard to look at, let alone understand, the historic truth in roots.
We have got to get conscious of the roots of our own behavior, thoughts, and feelings because there will never be true resolution and true security without healing our own hurts, confusions, and fears that are etched into historical roots. As Bessel van der Kolk aptly said, The Body Keeps the Score, and epigenetics shows us just how literal this is. With attunement and deeper understanding of the truths we carry perhaps we can cross a threshold into a safer, more creative world where difference is seen as exotic not frightening and the past understood and repaired or forgiven.
We need a heavy dose of positive thoughts and actions right now. The brain’s negativity bias is real (Baueister, Bratslavsky, Finkenauer, & Vohs, 2001; Rozin & Royzman, 2001) because understanding what goes wrong can keep us alive, which is evolution's primary imperative. Even with anxiety and other hard emotions, it is known that a ratio of about 90% positive statements can turn negativity around and help us feel better (Smith, Larsen, Chartrand, Cacioppo, Katafiasz, & Moran, 2006). It's best not to spend a lot of time blaming (self or others) as this is a quite narrow endeavor and the payoff just more the same. It's better to move into a wide-angled conscious approach of praising ourselves and others for having made it this far!
Caring for each other matters.
Recognizing and honoring the unexpected gifts that seem to drop into our life also matters. If we keep a journal of these gifts, we can easily see that a larger, stronger wave is building. I'm trusting that it is Truth at the helm seeking balance and protecting love at all costs...
Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and the Wish of Peace in the New Year.
Stay in connection, it makes Life easier.
See you next year.
We, and all of our Children need this.
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