The Laundromat



So much can be learned at the laundromat. Who knew! Now in the second week of hauling clothes to the laundromat because the garage is being remodeled, I got over my snit and decided to look around. This laundromat is very clean and well run, and there are a lot of machines so no one ever has to wait for one. Being kind of bored though and getting tired of my phone, I decided to look around discreetly to see what everyone else was doing.


Who knew that the laundromat was a Rorschach experience?


One young woman had 4 dryers going, and these dryers look industrial grade to me, so I was curious about her life, why 4 dryers etc. Does she wait for several weeks before doing laundry as I saw one man come in with 5 big trash bags of clothes? Or is this her weekly laundry? This curiosity moved into utter amazement however when she started to fold!


Glancing here and there so not to look like I’m staring, she pulled out sheets from the dryer and began to fold. She folded the top sheet into a perfect square. I thought, “Wow, but okay it’s an easier fold; let's see what she does with the fitted sheet." Without much ado, she put one corner into the same side opposite corner, repeated on the other side, then folded half in toward the middle, then the other half, smoothed it out with her iron-hand, folded it again into one long column, then in threes, and Voilà, a fitted sheet was born looking like it came out of its original store bought wrapper.


I thought about jumping up and saying, “Wow that’s amazing how you did that!” but sometimes enthusiasm is off-putting from a stranger so regulated and said to myself, “I will try this when I fold.”


My sheets come out. The young woman had left so I felt free to take on the fitted sheet. I spread it out on the table, like she did, but the table wasn’t big enough so one side fell off limply. "She must have had a queen sheet!" Not to be discouraged, I decided to do one side first then reposition the other on the table. Did that, the fitted corner fell out while I repositioned the other corner. Tried it again, same thing happened. Now somewhat aware of others watching me run back and forth with this gigantuous sheet draped over the folding table, putting one corner in, running back to rescue the other corner before it fell out, I rolled it up on my arm, and threw it in the basket, patting it down with much aplomb, and left quickly!


Week three: Back again at the laundromat. Today, there is a young mother working on her computer while her about 5-year-old who is running around with a Barbie doll in her hand. I smiled and said hi. The child wanted to help her mother put the wet clothes in the dryer. Mother chooses the lower dryer so her daughter can do this. Dryer runs, clothes dry, and mother takes them out and heads for the folding table. In the meantime, child gets into the dryer!


This had a horrible feeling for me, but mother just laughed and asked her child to help her fold...she came right out. Seriously brilliant mom!


Week four: I’m sick of the laundromat. Get clothes in washer and start looking around for interesting people. There was a man folding clothes at the table. I started watching because he was so exacting. T-Shirts: shake twice, lay out backwards, use smooth iron-hand, fold 1/3 inward on one side, then the other, bring bottom up to top, turn over, use iron-hand again, and another article of clothing looking like it just came from the store. I thought, “Maybe he is in the Army and has learned how to ‘square away’ clothes like beds, but then caught myself and asked, “Did you think the young woman two weeks ago was in the Army too?”


…contemplate gender roles for a while.


Then I saw him folding kids clothes and thought, “Wow this man is doing the laundry for this family!” (Think text bubble with pulsing hearts and flowers.) 


The washer and dryer are back now, and I’m comfortably in my laundry routine...there are no back steps on the house however, but that’s another story.


My folding has changed quite a lot. I no longer use ‘approximate’ folding but make ample use of iron-hand. I'm also much better lining up corners too, but as to that fitted sheet, I consider the saying...


Life is too short to fold a fitted sheet


...and think, "Amen!"




We, and all of our Children need this.

 


Laundromat photo comes from Architectual Digest, 2018.

NCAR is delighted to bring a bit of our world to others and is sending Notes on a monthly basis. Each Note will focus on some aspect on the Neuroscience of Attachment that applies to all of us and is the specialization of NCAR. Notes build on each other and involve key concepts in Integrative Regulation Therapy (iRT: Newton, 2009, 2013, 2017, 2021), a neurobiological subcortical scaffolding for depth therapies. Feel free to forward to others.



"Laundry is the chore that transforms chaos into order."



--Unknown




The best of living to you,


Ruth Newton

NCAR's Vision

That all children feel known, loved, valued, and guided by secure, conscious, and loving parents who strive to live an authentic life that supports a civilized world.


NCAR's Mission

To promote emotional security, growth, and happiness in children, adults, couples, and families.


Copyright © 2023 Ruth P. Newton

Newton Center for Affect Regulation (NCAR)

1545 Hotel Circle South, Suite 280

San Diego, CA 92108

619 782-9477

www.newton-center.com

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