November Sip of Serenity: Room for More

"Love is Letting Go of Fear."

~Leo Buscaglia

Greetings!

I recently addressed the audience gathered for my sister Cindy's celebration of life in the Dominican Republic, my sister's "happy place," where my mother was born and raised, where I still have a lot of cousins. It was a beautiful coming together of family, people she called her "chosen family," and many friends.

As I shared my remarks to the group assembled, the potency of my feelings caught me by surprise because Cindy passed away in February, and I thought I'd "done" all that processing. But being physically present with others in the shared loss and celebration allowed for more of everything. More reality about the finality of the loss, more comprehension of her impact and the scope of it on so many others, more depth and breadth of my own memories and emotions that surfaced in the moment, and most profoundly, more love. Love suffusing, infusing, and spreading.

In gathering together, it felt as if her spirit had reeled in all the lines she'd cast throughout her life, joining them in a big bundle of the best of her. New connections formed, founded on the most beautiful emotion: love.

During my travel time, I reflected on how as we live and work more and more "virtually," we need to make the effort to be fully present when we're with people, and to physically show up when it's important. Making those choices isn't always easy or clear, but the cost of letting them slip away is far too great.

My sister had not really wanted any celebration after she passed, but those of us left mourning understood the value of ceremony—a physical act rich with symbolism that affects us on the spiritual/emotional/mental level and infiltrates our whole system. To move forward, ceremony marks important transitions and allows us to understand how we are affected and changed. We emerge transformed, and the time after carries that transformation.

Weddings, graduations, funerals, new jobs, births-- any significant transition require us to slow down and acknowledge with reverence the difference of the time leading up to the occasion and the time after.

I have spent months resisting. Unknowingly bracing against feeling the loss. As a result, simultaneously I braced against acknowledging all the love and goodness my sister gave—to me and so many others. Some piece of me remained in a bubble of denial, and surviving in the confines of denial exhausted me. I hadn’t even recognized it, until the ceremony provided the gift of freedom and release as a mantle of grace fell over the little chapel where we all assembled.

Inner resistance takes energy. When we're in conflict with reality, fighting what we cannot change, we create an internal war that runs constantly in the background, sapping, tapping, draining our inner resources.

In finally having this gathering, I felt space open in my heart and mind for a deeper level of acceptance. The grief is still there, but now it exists alongside peace. I must have been afraid that if I accepted her death, I would be too overwhelmed. It would be too much.

What I found is that with acceptance, I can move forward with more of myself available—not constrained by the weight of suppressing, running, or avoiding. And, as I think about it, I am reminded of a book by Leo Buscaglia. Love is Letting Go of Fear. And, boy, could we all feel that love as we joined together, not afraid, not overwhelmed. Held and connected in love.

Acceptance is a starting point. It's how we gain the clarity needed to make good decisions and take meaningful action. It's how we stop spending our energy fighting with reality and start using it for living and creative action.

In a world full of uncertainty, disruption, and challenges, this feels especially important. What are you resisting or afraid of that, if accepted, might free up energy (physical, mental, and emotional)? Where might you want to direct it instead?

Feel free to reach out to me at Suzanne@oasisintheoverwhelm.com. I’m always happy to hear from you.

With Love & Light,

Suzanne

November's Sip of Serenity from Oasis in the Overwhelm™

Sip of Serenity Exercise

Set aside three minutes.
Do a body scan. Start with your head and just notice how you feel. Work your way down to your feet. Feel them against the floor or earth.
Notice what comes up when you ask: "What can I let go of or set aside?" How do you feel as you imagine releasing it, even if it's just for a little while? Breathe...

Oasis. Anytime. Anywhere.

Since 2009, Suzanne has inspired transformation as a coach, author, and speaker. With over 25 years of research and training, her custom-tailored approach combines science-based strategies, somatic practices, and creative collaboration. She catalyzes peace and personal growth for a wide range of clients—from artists and stay-at-home moms to business leaders, empowering them to reimagine their "stories" and achieve freedom, joy, and success as they define it.

Born to a Dominican mother and a father raised in New England, Suzanne grew up as the youngest of six children, which gave her a deep appreciation for diverse perspectives. She excels at connecting with others, bridging generational, cultural, and linguistic divides, fostering inner harmony and inspiring greater understanding in relationships.

Oasis in the Overwhelm™ is a registered trademark.

If you have any questions or comments,

reach out to Suzanne by clicking here.