Jokes :-)
How do trees get on the Internet?
They just log on.
What can a whole apple do that half an apple can’t do?
It can look round.
Why shouldn’t you tell a secret in a cornfield?
Because the corn has ears.
How do you fix a broken pumpkin?
With a pumpkin patch!
What happened when the turkey got in a fight?
The stuffing was knocked out of him.
What is it called when a tree takes some time off?
Paid leaf.
What kind of music did the Pilgrims listen to?
Plymouth Rock.
Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn so much?
Because he had a great fall.
Why did the pumpkin lose the boxing match?
He let his gourd down.
What do lumberjacks shout at the start of fall?
Sep-timberrrrrr!
Why do trees hate going to school in the fall?
Because they’re easily stumped.
What’s the best band to listen to in autumn?
The Spice Girls
What did the leaf say to the other leaf?
I’m falling for you.
Why do birds fly south for the fall?
Because it’s quicker than walking.
Why did the tree decide to start taking art classes?
She wanted to branch out.
What’s the biggest fall phenomenon in Australia?
The Great Barrier Leaf.
Why are trees so carefree and easy going?
Because every fall, they let loose.
Why did the scarecrow win a Nobel Prize?
He was outstanding in his field.
What’s the best thing to put into a pumpkin pie?
Your teeth.
What happens when winter arrives?
Autumn leaves.
Why did the Jack-o’-lantern look after the pie?
They were pump-kin.
What is it called when a tree doesn’t think it’s autumn?
Disbe-leaf.
What’s the saddest side dish?
Sweet potato cries.
What do pirates wear at autumn?
Pumpkin patches.
What kind of key can’t open doors?
A turkey.
What do turkeys eat for dessert?
Peach gobbler.
What do you call the ghost of a chicken?
A poultry-geist.
Why’s it so easy to trick a leaf in October?
They fall for anything.
What did the apple say to the pie baker?
Use cherries instead.
What do short-sighted ghouls wear?
Spooktacles.
If the Pilgrims were still alive, what would they be most famous for?
Their age.
Why are apples so bad in interrogations?
They always crumble.
How do leaves get from place to place?
Autumn-mobiles.
What is worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding half of a worm!
What’s the ratio of a pumpkin’s circumference to its diameter?
Pumpkin Pi.
How are you supposed to talk in the apple library?
With your in-cider voice.
What’s an elephant’s favorite vegetable?
Squash.
Who helps the little pumpkins cross the road when they go to school?
The traffic gourd!
Who won the skeleton beauty contest?
No body.