Issue 28: November 2023

It Begins with a Table

By the Rev. Bob Ullman

At a recent Creation Care Retreat at Daycholah Center, one of the presenters described a vibrant and growing Creation Care ministry in her congregation. When asked how it got started, she replied, “With a table.” By “setting up shop” in the church community room, she began to attract others who shared her passion and concern for caring for creation. 



Last month in “Nurturing the Soul of the Beloved Community,” Cathy Wille invited us to consider “The Discipline of Being in Community,” prompted by Henri Nouwen’s insight that being able to be fully present in community begins in solitude. Nouwen observes that in solitude we may more clearly hear the voice of God calling each of us Beloved. As Jesus heard the voice that said, “You are my Beloved,” so Jesus wants us to become beloved daughters and sons of God. And consciously aware Beloved offspring create Beloved Communities. 

At our last monthly Zoom conversation, prompted by Cathy’s article, one of the participants wondered, “How do we help our people become willing to engage in solitude as a component of building or nurturing a Beloved Community?” Perhaps it could begin with tables around which we already gather regularly. At Communion tables, at potluck suppers, at committee or ministry team meetings or even on Zoom gatherings, we have the opportunity to be reminded of our Belovedness. Encouraged to listen for God’s still voice when we are alone, we can discover that same voice speaking to us through others with whom we gather.

Nouwen proposes that seeking communion with God in times of quiet solitude leads to communion with others. “If you come from the place of communion, if you come from the place where you trust that you are unconditionally loved, and if you know that the communion that you most desire is already given to you, then you can enter into community and live with other people in ways in which they can give you love and affection and care that you can receive in gratitude as a sign, as a reflection of that first love.”  

In her book “Conversational Learning,” Patricia Jensen proposes that conversation can become communion. “To be in communion with others, with our natural world, with the Source of Being of all living things is to deeply experience being at one with the other, in and beyond time and space. It is an experience that we know as a feeling of being fully alive. Being in communion, we sense something of the mystical, the mysterious, an intermingling of souls and spirits. We feel together in the intimacy of conversation with others, in sensing that we share in the abundance of life we encounter in deserts, forests, mountains, and prairies. In our experience of the numinous we feel grounded, connected, in communion.”  

In addition to wondering how we might encourage people to engage in solitude with God in prayer and quiet mindfulness, how can we encourage “the intimacy of conversation with others?” It could well begin with a table. Around the “table” of a Supportive Ministries Zoom conversation and around tables of Communities of Practice with clergy and lay leaders, we have been gathering best practices for nurturing the soul (and souls) of a Beloved Community. They include:

• Welcome
• Trust
• Shared experience/shared story
• Common purpose
• Regular, intentional contact, proximity, staying close and connected
• Feeling valued
• Valuing and celebrating differences/different perspectives
• Feeling safe to challenge one another
• Willingness to feel uncomfortable
• Move from talking to listening to caring
• Ability to be quiet – “not share or die”
• No obligation to talk/share
• Respect
• Transparency
• Be clear about what you’re asking for from the group
• Be OK to sit with other’s pain
• No fixing

As lay and clergy leaders in our congregations and ministry settings, we can “set the table” that provides the context for discovering and experiencing conversation as communion and community. Someone must take the lead and propose that various groups with which we gather begin in a spirit of love, respect and acceptance. In that spirit even committee meetings around tables can become occasions to experience a deepening sense of Beloved Community. As the Church, we have the opportunity to call people together and provide the tools for being and becoming the Beloved Community God intends for all creation.

In the words of Shirley Erena Murray’s hymn:

                       For everyone born, a place at the table,

                       For everyone born, clean water and bread,

                       A shelter, a space, a safe place for growing,

                       For everyone born, a star overhead.

                       And God will delight when we are creators of justice and joy,

                       Yes, God will delight when we are creators of justice, justice and joy.

Questions for conversation:

1. Around which tables do your folks naturally gather?
2. What would be some ways you could encourage deeper conversations around those tables?
3. How might you introduce and call them to the best practices for nurturing a sense of being a Beloved Community?

Resources:

• Nouwen, Henri, Ed. by Stephen Lazarus "Community," Orbis Books, Maryknoll, New York, 2021
• Jensen, Patricia J. "Conversational Learning," Quorum Books, 2002
• Murray, Shirley Erena c. 1998 Hope Publishing Co.
• Bonus: "Room at the Table" by Carrie Newcomer (music video)

Join the Discussion: It Begins with a Table

The Supportive Ministries Team hosts a monthly discussion on topics from this newsletter. The next one, "It Begins with a Table" takes place on Dec. 6 at 12:00 p.m. Central time on Zoom.

Please join us for a discussion on Community, from Bob Ullman's article above.

Register here

Missed these articles?

Revisit these thought-provoking articles from previous issues. Many include questions for groups discussions in your congregation, or for personal reflection.

• The Discipline of Being in Community by Cathy Wille
• Nurturing the Soul, by the Rev. Bob Ullman
• Imagination and Hope, by Bonnie Andrews
• From Preservation to Persevering for the Long Haul,
• Lent: A Season of Discernment, by Rev. Tim Perkins
• Grounded in Lent, by Rev. Bob Ullman
• Behavioral Covenants, by Rev. Mike Southcombe
• There was no room at the Inn, but Everyone was Welcome at the Manger, by Cathy Wille, retired pastoral/mental health counselor
• Longing for Belonging: How Will Our Congregations be Re-membered? by the Rev. Bob Ullman
• Why WISE? by Lisa Hart