Emotional Bank Account
Valentine’s Day is coming up. This is the time we think about love and relationships. Making a relationship the best it can be takes more than love – it takes time, effort and commitment. Any relationship is like a bank. If you want a prosperous one, you need to make more deposits than withdrawals.
What is a withdrawal from the marriage bank? It is anything that your spouse views as unkind, disrespectful, insulting or inconsiderate. It could be a snide comment about weight or a messy house. It might be not calling when you are late, or forgetting a birthday or anniversary. It could be simple lack of appreciation or acknowledgement. One study says it takes 7 positive statements to counteract 1 negative statement. Wow! Obviously, you want to limit the number of withdrawals you take from your marriage bank. Taking out too much will leave you “bankrupt”, and that is dangerous. Watch what you say and do.
Deposits into the marriage bank are anything positive that encourages, rewards, builds up and shows love. It is not only words, but actions and body language as well. It could be a compliment, helping out (without being asked), calling when late, getting a gift “for no reason” or a heartfelt “I love you”. Some words or actions have a higher “deposit value” than others to the recipient, but they all add up to showing genuine love, affection and consideration. The more deposits into the marriage bank, the stronger it is, and the more it can withstand a few withdrawals. Especially now, but each week, continue to make purposeful deposits into your relationship bank on a regular basis and keep a high balance!