Why is it So Difficult to Tutor Your Own Child?

“That’s not the way my teacher explained it!”

“Can we do this later; I just want to watch Netflix.”

“Can you just tell the teacher I don’t get it?”

“The way you explained it doesn’t make any sense.”

If any of these sound familiar, you may already know some of the reasons why it’s so challenging to help your child with homework.

According to the National Center for Families Learning, more than 60% of parents of children in grades K–8 confess that they have trouble helping with their children’s homework. (Note that this survey didn’t even include parents of high school students!) More than 33% noted that they didn’t understand the material well enough, and 41 percent cited pushback from their children. Around 25% admitted that they are simply too busy.

Certainly it can be difficult to explain the material if you don’t fully understand yourself…and it’s especially difficult to explain it in multiple ways if your first attempt does not make sense to your child. Also, the investment of time to learn the entire course is probably not a great tradeoff when you could be doing other activities with your child and enjoying each other.

Even if you know a subject cold, it can be exceedingly difficult to tutor your own child. According to psychologists, a lot of the challenge has to do with the broader and deeper emotion involved in your relationship with your child. For example, your child may hear your constructive criticism as you not believing in them. You in turn may think “oh boy, if they can’t figure this out, then it’s going to keep getting worse as the topics become more difficult.” Catastrophizing your child’s academic future ramps up your emotions even more. Finally, the stress your child may experience is actually a hindrance to learning, as their brains focus more on the emotional response than the cognitive.

 

This is not to say that you can’t occasionally help your child with schoolwork. You may be an excellent writer, a scientist, or even a teacher yourself, in which case certain subjects may be a great fit. However, for academic support throughout the year, it is usually better for everyone to keep the parent-child relationship separate from the tutor-child relationship. After all, the tutor is an expert in the field who is also an expert educator, there is no emotional baggage in the relationship, and the tutor can communicate with your child’s teacher at a professional level without risk of appearing over-involved in the day-to-day work of the classroom. Talk to us at Oberman Tutoring today about how we can support your child academically while you can continue focusing on having an amazing parent-child relationship!

As the number of colleges reinstating the SAT/ACT grows, you may be wondering how important test prep is. After all, there are still some schools that are test optional, so some families may be happy to restrict college choices to these test-optional colleges.

Interestingly, however, some test-optional schools actually favor students who report high scores on standardized tests. So even if the colleges are indeed test-optional, you increase your chances of being accepted with a high score on the ACT or SAT.

Overall, college counselors strongly encourage preparing for the test in some fashion, ranging from studying on your own, to enrolling in a class, to 1-on-1 test prep. Investing in test prep, both financially and timewise, leads to stronger results. Part of the reason is that it helps a student fully commit to preparing, which means they will take the steps necessary to meet their full potential, for example taking notes, doing homework between sessions, and finding out how to correct mistakes on sample problems.

When you are ready for test prep, a quick call to Oberman Tutoring will set you up for success!

What Our Students, Parents, and Fans Are Saying!

• “Geoffrey is doing a fantastic job with the Micro Econ tutoring. His preparation and follow up for the tutoring sessions is unmatched! I was a bit hesitant at first due to the cost, but Geoffrey's preparation and knowledge have proven to be worth the investment. Thank you for your help with this.”

• “My child loved working with Marti Wayland [on a college Calculus course]. Marti also really enjoyed working with my child, which made things so easy for both of them. Thank you!”

• "I highly recommend Dr Oberman; he is an outstanding educator in every sense! He has worked with both of my teenagers and has been able to connect with them—even in the online setting—because he has a great sense of humor, is kind, and is sensitive to each of their individual needs. He really 'gets' kids! He also has a deep understanding of the math curriculum and so is able to approach sessions with a vision of what each kid needs both in short and long term, and always communicates thoroughly about each session. I am grateful that my kids have had the opportunity to work with him, and will continue to do so.”

I’m Dr. Paul Oberman. I have worked in education for 34 years as a teacher, principal, and head of school, and I have a PhD in educational psychology. Those experiences shape my teaching philosophy:

• All students can learn (and can learn math!), and learning should be fun.
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• Learning should build on a student’s belief that they can reach their goals, because this plays a big role in success.
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• Students learn math best when they can see how it has relevance in their lives, so I show them compelling examples throughout our work together. 
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• I assure strong communication among tutor, family, and teacher. Success comes from the best methods shared among everyone.



• Lastly, I know that students don’t care what you know unless they know that you care. I develop true connections with my students so they have a relationship context in which to ask questions, fail, and ultimately succeed.