In what ways can I better serve a sponsee who is not working the Steps? Should I continue working with them no matter what? Or let them go with love and tell them to come back when they're ready? Or take another approach? 

There are, of course, many approaches to sponsoring in Overeaters Anonymous. Some of us are very structured in working with sponsees. Others of us vary the tools we use based on the particular needs of the person we are sponsoring. It is not a secret that working the Twelve Steps is key to long-term abstinence and recovery in OA. Without the Steps, we would just be another "diet with fellowship," and there are those who use OA that way-at first. Overeaters Anonymous offers many wonderful resources for understanding and support in sponsoring. Hopefully, one or more of these will help you find the answers you are looking for. The first and most readily available resource is your own sponsor, who likely has more experience than you have. And, knowing you, your sponsor will be a good sounding board for your specific concerns. The OA bookstore (bookstore.oa.org) carries a Sponsorship Kit (#210). which includes the pamphlets The Tools of Recovery (#160), Sponsoring Through the Twelve Steps (# 220), A Guide For Sponsors (#200), the Strong Abstinence Checklist and Writing Exercises (#415), a list of other abstinence resource materials, a packet of Lifeline stories about sponsorship, and the wallet card Twelve Stepping a Problem (#420). The wallet card might be the tool to use first when reviewing the situation with your own sponsor and also as a way to approach your sponsee. You might ask them if they would like to use the wallet card with you to help clarify the obstacles they're up against in working the Steps. Other wonderful resources are also available at oa.org/documents. Look under "Twelfth Step Within" for more supportive resources and ideas for both you and your sponsee.  Every sponsoring relationship can be an opportunity for emotional and spiritual growth for both sponsor and sponsee. Hopefully, these suggestions will help guide you to understanding, clarity, and a decision that works for both of you.

MEETINGS: CROSS TALK - GIVING FEEDBACK WHEN REQUESTED 

During a group discussion about cross talk and feedback, I heard that years ago you could give feedback if someone requested it in a meeting. I had never heard of giving feedback in a meeting. What is OA protocol? 

Years ago, we did give people feedback and do some cross talk, especially if people asked for it. We did not understand the importance of keeping the meeting a safe place for people to share without anything coming back at them. People even had discussions in a couple of meetings. After attending OA meetings without cross talk for more than fifteen years, I attended a Twelve Step meeting that did not observe the tradition of no cross talk. I remember feeling fear about sharing my emotional pain. I feared someone would try to tell me what to do or feel or that it was not okay to have my own ideas. Like many of us, I have had people in my past tell me what to feel or think. Since my experience at that meeting, I have been a strong proponent of no cross talk in meetings. Having a place where it is my turn to say whatever works for me without other people telling me what they think is wonderful. Then I need to shut up and listen to what other members say, without judgment or comment.

Sometimes people go overboard criticizing those who roll their eyes or nod their heads, which some members interpret as cross talk. I am grateful today that we discourage cross talk within the meetings. I love having this safe place to share. An excellent statement on cross talk is in the Suggested Meeting Format: "Feedback, cross talk and advice-giving are discouraged here. Cross talk during an OA meeting is giving advice to others who have already shared, speaking directly to another person rather than to the group, and questioning or interrupting the person speaking/sharing at the time."

From OA.ORG