Candle Light Service
Sunday, December 8
December Meeting
Tuesday, December 17
January Meeting
Tuesday, January 28
Meetings are at:
St. Matthias' Episcopal Church
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Our chapter's remembrance service will be at:
The Columbian Center
2324 Pump Road
Henrico, VA 23233
Click
here
for more information.
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THANKS TO OUR SUPPORTERS
Our Chapter is not possible without your volunteer help and financial donations. Thank you for making a donation to or volunteering for chapter in October & November:
Kevin & Rin Barkdull,
in memory of Patricia Williams, former Chapter Leader
Ruth Booker,
in memory of Patricia Williams, former Chapter Leader
Dottie Lensinboltz,
in memory of Patricia Williams, former Chapter Leader
Ann McCauley & Rob MacGillivay,
in memory of Tom McCauley
Fran & John Robertson
, in memory of Jamie Robertson
Joan Spencer,
in memory of Greg and Matthew Spencer
Steering Committee members:
Ann & Steve Day
, in memory of Chris Day
Wanda Moser,
in memory of Kevin Lanna
Linda Tebault,
in memory of Danielle Tebault
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We’re here to listen!
We know that meeting once a month is not enough for some people. If you need someone to talk to in-between meetings please call us! We do our best to answer every call as it comes in; if we can't, please leave a message and we will return your call.
(804) 458-9000.
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Multi-denominational Service
Each year, St. Stephen's Church partners with several churches to offer a candle light service for parents and grandparents who have lost a child. This year's service is on December 2 @ 7 pm at:
St. Stephen's Church
6000 Grove Avenue
Richmond, VA 23226
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The Compassionate Friends
RVA Chapter
Co-Leaders:
Wanda Moser and Linda Tebault
tcfrva@hotmail.com
www.compassionatefriendsrva.org
Mailing Address:
P.O. Box 36443
Richmond, VA 23235
TCF National Office
The Compassionate Friends
PO Box 3696
Oak Brook, IL 60522-3696
(877) 969-0010
https://www.facebook.com/TCFUSA
nationaloffice@compassionatefriends.org
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FOR THAT, I AM THANKFUL
by Darcie Sims
It doesn’t seem to get any better, but it doesn’t get any worse either.
For that, I am thankful.
There are no more pictures to be taken, but there are memories to be cherished.
For that, I am thankful.
There is a missing chair at the table, but the circle of family gathers close.
For that, I am thankful.
The turkey is smaller, but there is still stuffing.
For that, I am thankful.
The days are shorter, but the nights are softer.
For that, I am thankful.
The pain is still there, but it lasts only moments.
For that, I am thankful.
The calendar still turns, the holidays still appear and they still cost too much, but I am still here.
For that, I am thankful.
The room is still empty, the soul still aches, but the heart remembers.
For that, I am thankful.
The guests still come, the dishes pile up, but the dishwasher works.
For that, I am thankful.
The name is still missing, the words still unspoken, but the silence is shared.
For that, I am thankful.
The snow still falls, the sled still waits, and the spirit still wants to.
For that, I am thankful.
The stillness remains, but the sadness is smaller.
For that, I am thankful.
The moment is gone, but the love is forever.
For that, I am blessed.
For that, I am grateful.
Love was once (and still is) a part of my being.
For that, I am living. I am LIVING,
and for that, I am thankful.
May your holidays be filled with reasons to be thankful.
Having loved and having been loved is perhaps the most wondrous reason of all.
Darcie D. Sims,
Ph.D., was a bereaved parent, a grief management specialist, a nationally certified thanatologist, a certified pastoral bereavement specialist, and a licensed psychotherapist and hypnotherapist. She served on The Compassionate Friends national board of directors and the Association of Death Education and Counseling and was Director of Training and Certification for Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS).
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You are invited to our annual remembrance service, where we honor the memories of our sons, daughters, brothers, sisters, and grandchildren who left too soon.
Our chapter joins Compassionate Friends chapters across the globe for the annual Worldwide Candle Lighting. As candles are lit at 7 p.m. local time, hundreds of thousands of people create a virtual 24-hour wave of light as it moves from time zone to time zone.
The Worldwide Candle Lighting gives bereaved families everywhere the opportunity to remember their children so that their lights may always shine. The Compassionate Friends welcomes families of any faith or belief; we are not a religious organization.
- Refreshments provided.
- Family and friends are welcome to attend.
- The service starts at 7 p.m.
To submit a photo* of your child, sibling or grandchild for the slideshow:
- email to: tcf.rvachapter@gmail.com
- mail to: PO Box 36443, Richmond, VA 23235
- same photo as last year? let us know by sending Steve an email at: tcfrva.chapter@gmail.com
*If you don’t have a photo: feel free to submit a graphic or picture that represents your child, sibling or grandchild – in this event, we can include your child’s name (if you want).
Submit your photo* by Thursday, December 5. Click
here for more information.
By submitting a photo - you are giving The Compassionate Friends RVA permission to include it in the slideshow, which will be posted online after the service; no names or other identifying information about your loved one is included.
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Giving Myself Permission
It has been nearly five years since my only child died, but this will be my sixth Christmas without his unique enthusiasm, anticipation and happiness at the prospect of the holiday season.
After two rocky attempts to handle the holiday season, I gave myself permission to do what I wanted to do. I am not accountable to anyone for my ups and downs at the holidays.
Last year was easier than the previous year and that year was easier than the one before. But there is a reason for this: in talking with other members of our Compassionate Friends chapter, I realized that I owe no explanations. Therefore, I make it easy on myself and on those who love me.
Instead of getting caught up in the commercialism of the holiday, I contemplate the true meaning of the season and initiate activities that have little to do with the season. I intentionally avoid Christmas because it is, simply, too painful for me. Others in our Compassionate Friends group have returned to their normal celebrations with children and extended family. Some have modified their traditions; a few have chosen to take a trip and escape the holiday memories entirely.
We give ourselves permission to handle this time of year in a way that is most soothing to us. If we do not do this, we suffer setback after setback in our grief. We often make small concessions for others in our family, of course. But are we really in the spirit? Probably not. Does it really matter?
Probably not.
Each year I now put a wreath on our front door. I buy a gift for an underprivileged child and include a card that is signed with my son’s name. I send gift cards to those who I am morally obliged to remember and buy small gifts for friends and family who truly appreciate the thought and effort I have made.
That’s Christmas now. I have given myself permission to handle it in the only way that keeps serenity, peace and hope in my heart.
Annette Mennen Baldwin
In memory of my son, Todd Mennen
TCF, Katy, TX
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