LMFT logo                                 
Life Coaching Header Image
What Makes A Good Apology

          October, 2019

Quote of the month  

"Never ruin 
an apology 
with an 

by Benjamin Franklin

Buy My Book

My Services
Pre-Marital Counseling
Certified Prepare/Enrich Program Facilitator
Marital Counseling
Infidelity Issues
Self-Esteem Support
Problem-Solving Support
Renew Marital Excitement
Family counseling

Divorce Support

Redefining Life Purpose
Grief/Loss Support

Family Counseling


I welcome the opportunity to help you work through current issues and to look at your future with a sense of hope and purpose.


Masters Degree - Applied Psychology from Seton Hall University


Post-Masters Degree-Marriage and Family Therapy from Seton Hall University


Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist


Private Practice 

since 2008


Married 30 years


Mother of 2 young adult daughters 


Passionate about 

what I do



I recently had the privilege of presenting the topic of the  5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman to my fellow church parishioners. What an honor it was. One of the extra chapters in the  5 Love Languages for Men book discusses some hints for making a good apology to someone. He states that there is also 5 Languages of an apology, just as there are 5 Languages of Love. I think it can be a reminder to all of us that being wrong about something does not have to mean the end of something good. An apology shows that we are not afraid to be "not perfect" and there is always room to grow and learn new things. Humility is something everyone should understand. Find below some of Gary Chapman's tips for making an apology.

As always, please pass along this information to someone you feel may benefit from its content.

Please LIKE my FB and Instagram pages to get more inspirations during the month. See the links near the bottom of the article.

Maryellen Dabal, MA, LMFT
305 Miron Drive 
Southlake, TX 76092
Missed previous newsletters??
Go to www.dabalmft.com.  Click on the newsletters link at the bottom of the home page. Enjoy.....
From The Positive Perspective......    

"Done well, an apology can bring closure to tensions, conflicts and hurt feelings that have been sore spots for months, even years. It can break down barriers faster than any other words or actions can." This is a quote from Gary's book.

The key thing that most people look for in an apology is sincerity. Do you feel you can be genuine when you make an apology? Working on being genuine can help the rest of this fall into place.

Apology Language #1: Expressing Regret. When we express regret, we acknowledge our own sense of guilt, shame and pain about whatever behavior has hurt the other person deeply. Begin your apology with the words, "I am sorry." But don't stop there. The more details you give about what you are sorry for, expresses that you know what you did.

Apology Language #2: Accepting Responsibility. Why do we find it so hard to say we are wrong about something? We are taught that we are weak if we say that. Actually, it takes much strength to admit we are wrong. Some people need us to admit we are wrong, because it shows we can own our actions, whether they are right or wrong. It shows sincerity that we can admit that we are not perfect.

Apology Language #3: Making Restitution. When we are wronged, we tend to feel that the other person needs to make it right again. While there are many ways to do that, what can be more important is the fact that the person puts effort in to making it right. We need to make sure that another person knows that we have plans to make it up to them. Think of what the other person's Love Language is and that can give you a hint as to how to make restitution. Does it need to be words or actions or touch, etc?

Apology Language #4: Genuine Repentance. Here we understand that our behavior is destructive, we regret the pain we have caused and we choose to change our behavior. Will this behavior continue to happen or will we take steps to learn how to change that behavior? We are saying that we are no longer making excuses.

Apology Language #5: Requesting Forgiveness. Three reasons why this is important. First, it shows that you want your relationship restored. Second, it shows that you realize that you have done something wrong. Third, it shows that you are willing to put the future of the relationship in the hands of the other person.

Apologizing does not come easy to most. It can be learned, though. Any combination of these languages can be the one that works for you with the other person. If you try one language and it is not working, then try another language or combination of those languages. 

I encourage you to purchase Gary Chapman's book, The 5 Love Languages For Men or any other book on apologizing and see how it can change your relationships.

Try to look at the situations in life
From The Positive Perspective,
 and we can work through anything.

Like me on Facebook     View on Instagram
I welcome feedback regarding the newsletter or questions about my practice.  I can be reached at maryellen@dabalmft.com .  I cannot, however, give advice through email. For more information on my practice please visit my website: www.dabalmft.com

I wish you well...