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October, 2026
Newsletter from the Marriage Education and Resource Center (MERCY)
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This plague hangs outside our office where couples see it as they come in and as they leave. We've read it many times, but each time we do, something seems to stand out.
If only we would take these words to heart, how much richer our marriages and relationships could be.
We believe many of these simple, yet powerful reminders reflect what the Lord had in mind when he created marriage - loving, forgiving, appreciating, encouraging and choosing to be the right partner for one another.
Will you take a moment and read it again?
As you do, is there one thing that speaks to you? Perhaps one area you could work on or one small change you could make that would strengthen your marriage?
Sometimes it is the little things that make the biggest difference.
Grace and peace
Penny and David
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Thanks to everyone who gave during the "Give for Good" campaign.
In addition, we want to thank everyone who joined us for Comedy Night. It appears, a good time was had by all!
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Dr. Debra Fileta, Christian Licensed Professional Counselor and bestselling author of eight books, recently posted this message: Flowers are Nice, But I Would Rather My Husband. . .
- Be emotionally healthy
- Know how to apologize without getting defensive
- Tell me what he's actually feeling instead of making me guess
- Work through his past, instead of making me pay for it
- Protect our connection, not just provide for our family
- Be willing to have the hard conversation instead of avoiding it
- Keep Growing - spiritually, emotionally and relationally
- Choose repair over being right.
- Know how to love me well on an ordinary Monday
Romance is beautiful. But relationship health is better.
So, ladies how about you? Do you agree with Debra or not?
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Christian Couples are Happier
The Institute for Family Studies, recently released the following information:
"Married men and women who most fully embrace the classic beliefs and practices of Protestant and Catholic Christianity - including the conviction that marriage is a lifelong commitment, "till death do us part" - enjoy the happiest marriages in America. In fact, 79% of churchgoing Catholics and 74% of churchgoing Protestants are very happily married, compared to 66% of non-religious husbands and wives."
| The 5-5-5 Rule - Weekly 15 Minute Habit from Date Your Spouse | When sharing, remember to use "I" messages rather than "you" messages. Listen to understand and paraphrase what you heard - no rebuttals, criticism or correcting. Your job is to listen and try to understand. | |
4 Signs You are Still Trying to Change Your Spouse Excerpt from PREPARE/ENRICH with added Scripture.
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You keep a running list of flaws - 1 Corinthians 13:4-5 says, "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. . ."
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Your differences are problems that need to be fixed - Romans 15:7 - "Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God."
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Your Chronically Disappointed - Disappointment is a natural part of life, but the Lord encourages believers to lean on Him, trust His timing and find hope in His promises. Psalm 34:18 - "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."
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You hide Your Own Struggles Psalm 27:1 - "The Lord is my light and my salvation, whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life - of whom shall I be afraid."
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17 Small Things That Matter by Juan Spinelli, a writer who focuses on relationships and personal habits.
- Looking up when your partner says something
- Feeling understood
- Saying thanks for completely normal things
- Knowing when an argument needs a rest
- Finding the same things funny
- Helping when life gets annoying
- Not leaving one person with the boring stuff
- Listening without preparing your defense
- Actually liking each other
- Casual Touch
- Spending time together without half-doing sometbing else
- Not treating effort like background noise
- Having something you are both working toward
- Putting the phone away
- Letting the other person change your mind
- Having friends besides each other - may we add same-gender friends
- Acting like you are on the same page
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Upcoming Marriage Events
There is no shortage of great marriage events happening this fall - from overnight getaways and two-day programs to convenient online experiences.
Many couples assume marriage events are only for those facing serious problems. That simply isn't true. While these events can be a lifeline for couples who are struggling, they can also encourage couples whose marriage is thriving - or give a good marriage the tune-up it needs.
After all, smart couples invest in their marriage before there's is a crisis. Why not take some time this fall to reconnect, grow closer, and strengthen the relationship you value most?
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Tiffany Briles with The Walking Wives will be leading her next 8-week session at the MERCI Barn starting Tuesday, October 6. Tiffany has a passion to encourage and support Christian wives.
MERCI Barn Indiana
8510 Indiana 111
Memphis, IN 47143
There is no need to register, however, if you are interested send Tiffany an email - tiffany@thewalkingwives.com
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Understanding your Pain and Peace Cycles
Wednesday's, October 7 - November 11, 2026
6:30 p.m.
MERCI Barn Indiana
8510 Indiana 111
Memphis, IN 47143
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Across six sessions, couples learn how conflict patterns form through the Pain Cycle, how love and trust deepen connection, how to shift into the Peace Cycle, and how to use the practical "Four Steps: to break unhealthy patterns."
For more information, or to register,
click here.
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Marriage Is. . .
October 16-18
Country Lake Retreat Center - Henryville, IN
Cost: $350 per couple (includes meals and lodging)
Bob and Joy Head, along with Don Donaldson invite you to a special weekend marriage retreat
During the retreat, you will explore God's meaning of marriage and the challenges it brings when two imperfect people unite in marriage. They will discuss some roadblocks that keep us from the intimacy God desires for every marriage.
To register: click here or call Bob Head at (502) 419-6462.
Note: If interested, please register early!
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Weekend To Remember - Louisville, KY
When: Oct 23-25, 2026
Over the course of the "Weekend to Remember," you'll walk through tried and true building blocks for a lasting marriage. They will pass on their best tips, tricks and tools, but the secret sauce is really in looking at what God says about marriage and the love you were created for.
For more information or to register, click here
Note: MERCY is offering a free scholarship registration to "Weekend to Remember" until October 10, 2026. Please know this does not include hotel rooms and/or meals. The couple would be responsible for these fees if they choose to stay at the hotel.
To qualify for this free registration, please send a reason why this weekend would be beneficial to your marriage. Send it to: pdhud9@aol.com.
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October 23-25, 2026 LIVE ONLINE (Registration OPEN until October 16th)
A New Beginning is a turn-around weekend designed to help couples who feel stuck in an unhealthy marriage, couples who are frustrated and unhappy, and couples considering divorce. Any marriage can be saved, and our experience with thousands of couples proves that it really is possible for both husband and wife to fall deeply in love with each other again, and build a mutually satisfying relationship that will last.
Three out of four couples who attend A New Beginning choose to stay married.
For more information, or to register, click below.
Give Your Marriage A New Beginning | Save My Marriage
| | | Here is the link for registration to "Building A Lasting Promise." click here | | Big Marriage Questions by Dr. Valerie Vincent | |
Q. I have been married for four years. We, like most couples, get caught up in day-to-day living. How can we keep focused on our marriage and not take it for granted?
A. The two of you need to commit to be lifelong learners. You will need to study your marriage.
- The marriage relationship is a living, changing relationship. Look for books, Bible studies and marriage enrichment opportunities that cause you to examine and study your relationship - materials that raise questions for you to explore and discuss together. Here are a few marriage discussion questions to get you started.
- - What strengthens your marriage?
- - How has your marriage grown this past year?
- - What are the things that feed your marriage and keep it alive and growing?
- - Do you have reasonable expectations of each other? What are they?
- - Name 20 ways you show love to your spouse.
- - Name 20 ways your spouse shows love to you.
- - How can you stay connected during conflict or how can you reconnect after conflict?
- - How do you share your faith journey with each other?
- Add to these questions. Focused dialogue on your marriage directs your attention to the relationship. It helps you evaluate and celebrate your marriage. It also helps you both keep tabs on any trouble spots so that you can quickly give them the attention needed.
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We'd like to encourage you to discuss the questions Dr. Vincent noted in her article ablove. |
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