HaKol
The Voice of the
Pelham Jewish Center
November/Cheshvan-Kislev 5784
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Leadership Messages
Rabbi Benjamin Resnick
Education Director
Ana Turkienicz
PJC President
Lisa Neubardt
HaKol Editor
Barbara Saunders-Adams
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Congregant News
& Donations
Book Notes
Barbara Saunders-Adams
Book Notes
Jordan Salama
Meet Bella Nyangobire
Food For Thought
Share a Simcha
Tributes & Donations
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Dear Friends,
Two weeks ago, over Shabbat, I shared a short midrash about Avraham that remains stuck in my head. The Torah tells us that after a long and eventful life, Avraham died fully content, God having blessed him with “everything.” “Everything” is just the kind of vague and expansive word that rabbis, both ancient and modern, tend to prize for their Rorschach-like plasticity and Rabbi Levi, a fourth century sage, uses it as an opportunity to offer a rather extraordinary teaching. Avraham's blessing, he taught, included the following elements:
- He learned to manage his emotions.
- He experienced family harmony at the end of his life.
- He always had enough.
- He was not tested beyond what he could bear.
I like this teaching for a couple of reasons. First, I like the audacity of it, the ambition. It’s almost like Rabbi Levi is saying, “Listen up. I’m not just going to talk about the meaning of one verse. I’m going to tell you the meaning of life itself. Here’s how you live well.” As someone who talks for a living, I find Rabbi Levi’s boldness bracing and inspiring. He seems to say, “I’m not going to waste my words. I’m going to take the bull by the horns and go right after the heart of the matter.”
The second reason I find myself drawn to this teaching–and, as you can see, I’ve been thinking about it for a couple of weeks now–is that I think it’s actually a pretty good list. I’m not sure that it unlocks the meaning of life itself (that particular mystery likely won’t be resolved in the pages of HaKol), but it strikes me that these four elements of everything are indeed core ingredients of a bountiful life.
As many of us turn our attention to Thanksgiving in the coming week, it also strikes me as significant that three of the four–managing difficult emotions, being satisfied with one’s portion, and not being overly tested–are, on some level, under our control. Or, even if they are not under our control fully, insofar as they depend, to some extent, on how we choose to tell the stories of our lives, they are at least responsive to the postures we adopt towards the inevitable rigors of the world.
We Jews, individually and collectively, do not always have the easiest time of it. That is, in fact, quite an understatement. But it is not for nothing that in spite of the challenges we’ve faced and continue to face, we are nevertheless called yehudim, which means, quite literally, “the thankful people.” And it is also no great secret that acknowledging what we do have, in concrete ways, can blunt the sting of that which we may not.
Who's to say what it means to have enough? Who’s to say what kinds of tests are reasonable? Who’s to say, exactly, which of our many emotions should be primary? The answers to these questions are as diverse as the questioners. Rabbi Levi, in trying to picture our great ancestor’s contentment, is reminding us that receiving blessings is, in large part, about being open to the possibility of blessings in the first place–remembering that very often we do have what we need, very often we can face the tests before us, and very often harmony is possible, even after fearsome conflict.
Wishing all of you a happy and peaceful Thanksgiving,
R. Benjamin Resnick
Ben
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Education Director
Ana Turkienicz
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“Look at how a single candle can both defy and define the darkness." –Anne Frank
A few days ago, I saw Avi Malkis, who was picking up his children, Aviva (8) and Alex (6) from the Learning Center. I know Avi has a family in Israel, so I asked him how his family was doing there. Avi told me his family lives mainly in Netanya, so they were ok, since that area has been spared so far from the missile attacks both from Hezbollah in the North and Hamas in the South. “Well, glad to hear”, I said.
As we kept discussing the “matzav” (the situation), Avi told me he always tells his children to be proud of being Jewish and to continue to learn Hebrew and Judaism, he said, “that’s what we always did and that’s what we will continue to do”. His youngest, little Alex, hearing his dad’s words, made sure to show me with pride his olive-green IDF t-shirt, saying: “I am so lucky because I have friends at school that don’t say mean things to me because I am Jewish”. I replied to him that he is indeed very lucky to have such good friends.
For a while, I kept reflecting on that conversation. I couldn’t stop thinking about the fact that Alex, a 1st grader, is already aware that people might be mean to him because he is Jewish, and therefore, he is “lucky” to have good friends at school that don’t behave like that. At his young age, he is already aware about the world he is growing into. A world where antisemitism is justified, a matter of fact. And his dad’s wisdom, that the answer to it is just keep learning, and be proud of being Jewish. This was not news to me. For all the years I have been working at the PJC, I have heard more than enough stories about antisemitism in our public schools, from Elementary through High School. Antisemitism that has been manifested in different ways and forms.
The Pelham Jewish Center was established in response to the fact that the founders’ children, back in the early 50’s, were not allowed to enroll in any of the after school programs in Pelham - just because they were Jewish. One shouldn’t be surprised by what young Alex Malkis said the other night. It’s also important to acknowledge that the city and the schools have reacted to some of these incidents through educational interventions, initiatives and programs, including the impactful solidarity evening, largely attended, held in town following the events on October 7th.
On Tuesday, November 14, Rosh Hodesh Kislev, 300,000 Jews came together from across the US and from all walks of life to stand up for Israel, against antisemitism and demand that the hostages taken by Hamas be safely returned to their families. As Ishai Ribo, who sang at the event said, the new Jewish month of Kislev tells the story of Hanukkah, the battle of the Maccabees against the Seleucid empire which ended with the victory of light over darkness. Ishai Ribo looked at the 300,000 attendees at the DC Mall and said: “Looking up from here, I can see you are the light; the light that shines against the darkness of the vicious attacks on Israeli civilians on last October 7”. My eyes filled with tears. As I looked around. I could see lots of teary eyes. Everyone standing there understood what darkness he was referring to. Every Jew understands what antisemitism means and can probably tell stories from their own family as examples. Each one of us standing on that Mall became aware of the bright light we can shine when we are all united together. That’s the shining Jewish star that can help guide our steps as we navigate the world post-October 7.
Conversely, I was surprised to see that even though our own children, as young as Alex, have reported being the subject of antisemitic sentiments in their schools, the PJC contingent at the DC March was small. I wonder what we could have done better as a community to mobilize our members and make the road to Washington easier -- to stand up against antisemitism, support Israel and demand the return of the Israeli hostages.
Perhaps we can draw some inspiration from our Bnei Mitzvah class and their families, who came to celebrate Shabbat together at the PJC on Friday, November 10. After dinner, the families played a “Jewish Values” game; it consisted of a series of cards with different Jewish rituals, values and activities (such as join a synagogue, stand up for Israel, continue Jewish learning, keep kosher, contribute to Jewish causes, etc) which the families had to put in order of importance for them, on a scale of 1-10. Each family needed to agree together on where to place their cards, making sure all the members of the family had a consensus on the agreed upon placement. When the families finished placing their cards, Rabbi Resnick asked what people had placed in 1st place. We were quite surprised (and pretty proud) when we went around the room and all families had “Stand with Israel'' as their first priority. I have played this game with many different groups of families in the past, and I don’t recall seeing this in any of the previous groups. We were pretty stunned (and quite happy). After all, there is hope, if we were to judge from the conversations with young Alex in Kitah Alef, his dad, or our Bnei Mitzvah families.
Thanks to the work we do together as a community, and the values shared by parents with their children, we can draw inspiration from the future generations' stance on Judaism and on Israel. We can only hope that as a community, we will find more ways to act upon our thoughts and values, so together with the greater Jewish community in America we can send a strong message of support to our people in Israel, who are shouldering the burden of the world’s indifference to antisemitism.
As we enter the Jewish month of Kislev, we are reminded of our past struggles to overcome antisemitism and hate. Let us rejoice in the strength of our youth, the resilience of our people and the resolve of our brothers and sisters in Israel. As we say in Hebrew, “we've been through Pharaoh, we’ll overcome this too.”
When we light our Hanukkah candles this year, let’s remember the generations that came before us, their stories of resilience and perseverance so we could be together and celebrate the holiday in our time, as we recite the Shehecheyanu blessing.
May the lights of Hanukkah continue to be a source of strength, healing and hope to all of us.
Am Israel Chai - the people of Israel live!
Much love,
Ana
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“If you don't stick to your values when they are being tested, they are re not values: they are hobbies.”
― Jon Stewart
I have been thinking about protests. Rallies. It’s unlikely you will watch or read the news these days without finding a story about a protest somewhere, in support of or in opposition to, any number of world events.
Last week I read that since the attack on Israel on October 7, police in NYC have been overwhelmed by the number of protests taking place almost daily throughout all five boroughs. They can’t keep up.
To say that protests are an American tradition is almost an understatement. The right to
“peaceably” assemble is a right granted to all of us by the First Amendment of the US
Constitution. It’s as if the founding fathers anticipated that free people will sometimes
use that freedom to disagree. Peaceful non-violent civic engagement was something to
be protected. According to the United States Institute for Peace on Nonviolent Action,
“nonviolent resistance has been shown empirically to be twice as effective as armed
struggle in achieving major political goals.”
Consider:
April 1911 - Labor rights activists came together to draw attention to dangerous workplace conditions that led to the deaths of 146 garment workers in New York City.
Legislation was finally passed that spoke specifically to worker safety protections.
February 1960 - A sit-in at a Woolworth’s lunch counter in Greensboro, NC prompted
additional sit-ins at restaurants in 55 other cities. Later that year, Woolworth’s ended
segregation at its southern locations.
August 1963 - Over 200,000 people gathered outside the Lincoln Memorial in DC in
support of racial equality. Martin Luther King delivered his “I Have a Dream” speech.
The Civil Rights Act passed in 1964.
April 1970 - The first Earth Day was inspired by the impact of student anti-war protests.
The concept of an “Earth Day” caught the attention of national media and on April 22,
1970, 20 million Americans took to the streets to demonstrate against the impact of
industrial development. Earth Day is now celebrated annually nationwide.
May 2020 - The night after George Floyd was killed, a protest took place in
Minneapolis, MN. Within days, there were protests in all 50 states and 140 cities
nationwide. People began to gather in countries all over the world. The impact is evident
in several cities where steps are being taken toward broader law enforcement reforms.
October 2023 - Since the attack on Israel on October 7, there have been almost daily non-violent protests in cities all over the world. In NYC, rallies attracting hundreds of people have been and continue to be held at different points and landmarks throughout the city. On October 27, Shabbat tables were set up in Times Square with 224 empty seats, each one representing a hostage being held by
Hamas.
November 14th, 2023 - An estimated 290,000 Jews descended on Washington DC for the March for Israel. The Jewish Federations of North America called this “the largest pro-Israel gathering in US history.” The March was equally notable because it was peaceful. People came to advocate. Because of a sense of duty. To show solidarity. To be part of history. To use their voices.
One participant, Elliot, when asked why he was there said, “(his) parents brought
him to D.C. in 1987 for the Freedom Sunday rally in support of Jews in the Soviet Union. Now, more than 30 years later, he brought his daughter to the capital for a similar “lesson in civics". Elliot said, "This is how we protest in America."
Which brings me back to the First Amendment and maybe one of the first attempts at
peaceful assembly, the Boston Tea Party, a protest against British rule without
representation. I saw Hamilton, things got ugly before they got better. And that is the
risk. Non-violent protests too often give rise to violent responses. At this very
challenging moment in time, let’s keep our values as our values and our hobbies as our
hobbies. And be there for each other in the in-between.
Lisa
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HaKol Editor
Barbara Saunders-Adams
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Dear Friends,
I had a disturbing conversation with my daughter. On the surface, it was about the untenable situation between Israel and Hamas. My daughter was calling for a humanitarian cease-fire. I said Hamas, a terrorist organization bent on Israel's destruction, had to be eliminated.
The discussion became more personal. Shira is alarmed at the rise in antisemitism around the world and especially in the United States since Hamas invaded the settlements in southern Israel on October 7th, brutally slaughtering 1200 men, women and children as well as taking 240 hostages. The strong Israeli response has generated hatred of Jews around the world.
My daughter said, "My name, Shira, is Hebrew, I can't escape notice on campus. I am proud of being Jewish but also embarrassed about all the death and destruction in Gaza." Shira equates Judaism with justice - a value that makes Israel a light among the nations. When Israel is perceived as unjust by Jewish youth, their affinity for Israel wanes. It is a prevalent dilemma.
A recent Hillel International poll surveyed 300 Jewish college students and found that the Israel-Hamas war is influencing students in several ways. More than four out of five (84%) said that the situation is affecting them, more than two-thirds (68%) said they were sad, and most (54%) said they were scared. One in 3 Jewish students (35%) said there have been acts of hate or violence against Jews on campus. A majority of those surveyed said they are unsatisfied with their university’s response to those incidents.
I never thought my daughter would be in danger for having a Hebrew name in our country in the 21st century. Shira said that she is having trouble focusing on her school work. The weight of the situation is overwhelming for her. She will talk to someone at the university.
It's time to learn how to live together, not destroy one another. It's time to talk - to hear each others grievances and move on from a place of understanding. But first the killing must stop - on both sides. The hostages must be released. We need to talk with true representatives of the Palestinian people. This is the only way the cycle of hatred and violence will end.
Barbara
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The PJC Refugee Sponsorship Committee, headed by Matt Marcus and Rhonda Singer, is happy to introduce Bella Nyangabire, originally from the Democratic Republic of Congo. The Refugee Committee, in partnership with HIAS, "adopted" Bella, an independent young woman with a winning disposition. Bella fled the wars in her native country and lived for several years in Kenya where she learned to speak English. Bella says, "It's hard to be alone in a new country; especially hard to meet people in New York City".
Bella found the PJC Refugee Sponsorship Committee to be warm and welcoming. "They tried their best to make me feel comfortable and not so alone". Bella thinks of the members of the PJC Committee as family. She has already been to the Empire State building and strolled through the Bronx Botanical Gardens. Bella loves to walk in new surroundings.
As a single woman from another country and a different culture, Bella says that what she needed most was someone to talk to who could empathize with her circumstances. The PJC Refugee Committee gave her a laptop to help find a job and connect with others. Bella lived temporarily with Adam and Maria Abeshouse on their third floor in Pelham Manor. She is greatly appreciative of the efforts of the PJC.
As sponsors, the PJC Refuge Committee assisted Bella in all aspects of resettlement. They have successfully helped her find a job as a Home Health Care Professional. Her home as well as her job will be in White Plains.
Barbara
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Jerusalem Beach
by Iddo Gefen
Iddo Gefen is a young Israeli writer of considerable talent. His collection of short stories, Jerusalem Beach, showcases his imagination and understanding of human foibles. The thirteen stories in this book weave in and out of reality to address issues in contemporary Israeli life.
The title of the book, Jerusalem Beach, is enigmatic - there are no beaches in Jerusalem. It underscores how readers need to appreciate how Gefen will push them to "think out of the box". In Gefen's stories, memory and imagination intertwine with technology and futuristic settings. Gefen's background as a neurocognitive researcher filters through the collection in stories that meditate on dreams, cognition, mental illness, and the inner lives of his characters. Reading Jerusalem Beach is a challenging but worthwhile endeavor.
Barbara
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Book Notes: Jordan Salama | |
Dear Friends,
When I was growing up in a large Argentine, Syrian and Iraqi Jewish family in the New York suburbs, my favorite words to hear were kan ya makan.
Arabic for "once upon a time", kan ya makan literally means "it happened or it didn't happen," or "it was or it wasn't so." And in my family, it always meant a story was coming. Maybe that story was an ancient tale from The Thousand and One Nights, or maybe it was a family legend told across the kitchen table. It didn't really matter to me. My family had all sorts of stories because they came from all over the world–Jews from Damascus, Aleppo, Baghdad, and Buenos Aires. And they passed these stories down in numerous ways, through writing, art, music, and everyday objects we had around the house.
My new book, Stranger in the Desert: A Family Story, chronicles a journey I made across Argentina in search of traces of my great-grandfather (a Syrian traveling salesman in the Andes) and discusses the importance of intergenerational storytelling in communities perpetually faced with our demise. My relatives told these stories so that we would never forget where we came from, and because they knew that Jewish life rests on the stories transmitted by those who came before us.
Here in Argentina, I have found great comfort in Jewish storytelling during these unfathomably difficult weeks for the Jewish community and the world. In the midst of so much fear and grief, I turn to stories as I would a warm blanket, wrapping myself up in the shared humanity that can be found.
I've been particularly drawn to works that reflect identity as multilayered, similar to my own heritage—each story, in its own way, bringing me closer to my own family and heritage. Mostly I've been reading and rereading Banipal Magazine's recent special edition entirely dedicated to translated essays, poems, and fiction by Iraqi Jewish writers like Shimon Ballas, Maryam al-Mulla, and Samir Naqqash. There are so few texts in English that represent the emotional complexities of Arab Jewish identity, and this collection is a treasure. Then there's Sarah Abrevaya Stein's amazing Family Papers, which pieces together the history of a Sephardic family in the Ottoman Empire thanks to a trove of letters and documents. André Aciman's stunning Out of Egypt is an all-time favorite of mine that I frequently find myself returning to.
I recently came across Susan Lynn Meyer’s fascinating essay "Homesteading Jews." This reminded me of Javier Sinay’s The Murders of Moisés Ville. Sinay is a great narrative nonfiction writer from Argentina and a friend of mine. When we think of the recent history of Jewish migrations around the world, very often we think of urban spaces. But what about those who set out to make it in more rural areas? These complicated histories have been much less explored, and these two works from opposite parts of the globe each shed light on the subject.
Last, but certainly not least, I want to introduce you to two of my favorite Latin American singer-songwriters, both of whom also happen to be Jewish: Jorge Drexler and Conociendo Rusia (led by Mateo Sujatovich). From Drexler, don't miss his song "El pianista del gueto de Varsovia" ("The Pianist of the Warsaw Ghetto") and be sure to look up the translation if you don't understand Spanish.
May we all find comfort in the stories that make us feel whole, and strive to think critically about how we can make the world a kinder and more peaceful place.
All my best,
Jordan
Jordan Salama is the author of Every Day the River Changes and the forthcoming Stranger in the Desert. His work has appeared in National Geographic, New York Magazine, The New York Times and on NPR's All Things Considered, among other publications. He graduated from Princeton University in 2019 and in recent years has been based between New York and Buenos Aires. Jordan is a Learning Center Graduate.
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The Forgetting
Robert Pinsky
The forgetting I notice most as I get older is really a form of memory:
The undergrowth of things unknown to the young, that I have forgotten.
Memory of such crap, jumbled with so much that seems to matter.
Lieutenant Calley. Captain Easy, Mayling Soong, Sibi Sisti.
And all the forgetting that preceded my own: Baghdad, Egypt, Greece,
The Plains, centuries of looting of antiquities. Obscure atrocities.
Imagine! - a big tent filled with mostly kids, yelling for poetry. In fact
It happened, I was there in New Jersey at the famous poetry show.
I used to wonder, what if the Baseball Hall of Fame overflowed
With too many thousands of greats all in time unremembered?
Hardly anybody can remember all eight of their great grandparents.
Can you? Will your children's grandchildren remember your name?
You'll see, you little young jerks: your favorite music and your political
Furors, too, will need to get sorted in dusty electronic corridors.
In 1972, Chou En-lai was asked the lasting effects of the French
Revolution: "Too soon to tell." Remember? - or was it Mao Tse-tung?
Poetry made of air strains to reach back to Begats and suspiring
Forward into air, grunting to beget the hungry or overfed Future.
Ezra Pound praises the Emperor who appointed a committee of scholars
to pick the best 450 Noh plays and destroy all the rest, the fascist.
The stand-up master Steven Wright says he thinks he suffers from
Both amnesia and deja vu: "I feel like I have forgotten this before."
Who remembers the arguments when jurors gave Pound the only prize
For poetry awarded by the United States Government? Until then.
I was in the big tent when the guy read his poem about how the Jews
Were warned to get out of the Twin Towers before the planes hit.
The crowd was applauding and screaming, they were happy - it isn't
That that they were anti-Semitic, or anything. They just weren't listening. Or
No, they were listening, but that certain way. In it comes, you hear it, and
That selfsame second you swallow it or expel it: an ecstasy of forgetting.
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"Share a Simcha" allows congregants to share their news with our PJC community. Please submit news about family members -- engagements, births, job updates, kid achievements, community acknowledgements and any other milestones -- to the HaKol Editor, Barbara Saunders-Adams.
. Mazal Tov to Barbara Saunders-Adams & Sam Adams on their son, Aaron Adams' (aka Ronnie Stone) release of a second single single, Riding in the Rain on Spotify and YouTube. The album, Ride Again will be released in January, 2024 on Feeltrip Records.
. Mazal Tov to Eugene Lief & Maria Kogan on their son, Isaac Lief's designation as one of two Rotary Scholars of the Month at Pelham Manor High School where he is a senior.
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Share a Simcha is a regular HaKol feature, so keep your news and updates coming!
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Donations to the PJC
Ira and Jo-Anne Weinberg
Daniel Kushnick and Janice Goldklang
Emily and Justin Pauley
Donations to the Rabbi's Discretionary Fund
Benjamin Resnick and Philissa Cramer
Billing statements are emailed monthly.
Checks made out to the Pelham Jewish Center can be mailed to Pelham Jewish Center, P.O. Box 418, Montvale, NJ 07645. Credit card payment instructions are on your monthly emailed billing statement, or go to https://thepjc.shulcloud.com/member.
If you are interested in paying via appreciated securities or IRA distributions, please email Mitch Cepler.
It is the policy of the Pelham Jewish Center to make every effort to assist members experiencing financial challenges. Financial challenges should never be a barrier to being an active member of the PJC community. You can reach out to President Steve Martin, Treasurer Mitchell Cepler or Rabbi Benjamin Resnick to speak confidentially concerning your ability to pay PJC dues and Learning Center tuition.
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